Slap Your Mamma, Cheaters Never Prosper

Look to the left everyone .....

I'm a TOP POSTER!!!!

Congratulations darling!! You have that douche in the alert forum to thank

I do .. you know its SOOOOO funny cuz I was just on the phone whining w/ Lisa.Lisa earlier that it will never happen and she said I'll have it by next Saturday.

Then douche boy came along and changed everything for me.

You know the bad part about this, I must be pretty lame ... cuz I'm super excited. LOL!!

Can someone buy me (or finance me - I promise, I'll make the payments, I just need your good credit) a brand new 6spd Mustang GT so a girl can get some excitment in her life?

Can someone buy me (or finance me - I promise, I'll make the payments, I just need your good credit) a brand new 6spd Mustang GT so a girl can get some excitment in her life? Originally Posted by Brooke Wild

Let me take care of that for you as a "post whore present".............all I got was a postcard.

Hey dearhunter. Where was that review you promised as part of your 1000 post anniversary? Man I am expecting two reviews now when you hit 2000.


... only 1755 post behind dh...

Pig Tricks..




...and to keep from getting Brooked,

here's some more helpful helpfullness for the helpless.


How To Survive A Shark Attack

4: Don't go into the water without a knife.
This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy) closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the "decoy" is bleeding profusely ..... swim for your bloody life.

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Hey now! Watch that fat folks stuff! If I could get paid like I weighed we'd both be rich!

Remember that hostess cupcake commercial? CREAM FILLIN'? When the fat girl is on the intertube and has the sqiggley lines on her bathing suit and the shark goes after her cause she looks like a chocolate cupcake? And shouts CREAM FILLIN'!! Dude I gotta ease up on the coffee.............. Originally Posted by onehitwonder

SKF/anyone Do y'all remember this commercial? Surely I'm not the only one that old?

self edit: 2 hours later Y'all suck....I'm takin' my toys and goin' home......

These avoiding shark attack posts are some of the funniest shit I've read in a long time. I can't wait for # 5. I wonder how many of these you got. I hope lots and lots!

...and to keep from getting Brooked,

here's some more helpful helpfullness for the helpless.


How To Survive A Shark Attack

4: Don't go into the water without a knife.
This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy) closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the "decoy" is bleeding profusely ..... swim for your bloody life.

.





.
Originally Posted by SofaKingFun

My fav's so far are fat girl and the A1 sauce. That's all me, girl. All me.

How was sunday school?

These shark attack avoidance suggestions are not meant to be funny!

Shark attacks are a very real danger and these suggestions are as serious as,... dare I say it?..., a shark attack!

So laugh if you will. Just know that the shark is one of nature's most efficient predators. 24/7, 365 they are killing machines and they are always on the prowl.






Now where were we?


How To Survive A Shark Attack

5: Don't panic.
In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won't help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can really spoil a wonderful day out.


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My fav's so far are fat girl and the A1 sauce. That's all me, girl. All me. Originally Posted by onehitwonder

Mine too. I'm going to do that to my mom the next time we go to the beach. God it's going to be funny.

How was sunday school? Originally Posted by onehitwonder

It was church woman! Although I go to Lakewood, so not everyone would consider that church, but it works for me. Joel is funny as hell. I mean as heck.

Don't forget Land Shark....

But I find the humor in everything!

Once your done, please let me know because I'm going to copy & paste them and make a book.

So please, if 10 is the last one, let me know ... I'd hate to sit around for weeks waiting on number 11

These shark attack avoidance suggestions are not meant to be funny!

Shark attacks are a very real danger and these suggestions are as serious as,... dare I say it?..., a shark attack!

So laugh if you will. Just know that the shark is one of nature's most efficient predators. 24/7, 365 they are killing machines and they are always on the prowl.






Now where were we?


How To Survive A Shark Attack

5: Don't panic.
In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won't help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can really spoil a wonderful day out.


.





. Originally Posted by SofaKingFun

I do .. you know its SOOOOO funny cuz I was just on the phone whining w/ Lisa.Lisa earlier that it will never happen and she said I'll have it by next Saturday.

Then douche boy came along and changed everything for me.

You know the bad part about this, I must be pretty lame ... cuz I'm super excited. LOL!!

Can someone buy me (or finance me - I promise, I'll make the payments, I just need your good credit) a brand new 6spd Mustang GT so a girl can get some excitment in her life? Originally Posted by Brooke Wild

You should get a Harley Davidson instead. My ATF got one ... said it is the most exciting thing she has had between her legs in years... Wait a minute...