This is a stretch but it was so funny, from the Sopranos on HBO- Tony was away for the weekend and the parish priest spent the night with Carmella at the Soprano home. Tony gets home and she tells him that the priest spent the night there. Right away he thinks they were balling each other but Carmella naturally denies it. Tony to Carmella: "What did you do all night, Carmella, play Name that Pope?"
Vincent: Want some bacon?
Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent: Are you Jewish?
Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent: Why not?
Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?
Another favorite quote.....Crispin Glover as Layne in the movie Rivers Edge.....
Clarissa: You didn't have to call me a stupid bitch.
Layne: OKay, okay, okay. I'm sorry *Clarissa*, but you've got to understand that in a time like this where every fucking second counts, a man can't waste his time choosing words.