Off the Clock

When does a hobbyist think it's ok to ask a provider out on an uncompensated date? Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

If you're talking about a guy you've never met before asking for a non-compensated introductory social meeting over dinner/drinks to determine if the two of you are compatible, then I don't think that's ok. If you're referring to a guy inviting you for a bite to eat immediately after paid BCD time, then I see no problem with that as long as the two of you hit it off really well, enjoy each others' company, and both have the time. I don't do it often, but I've asked before with women I especially had a good time with. If they say no, that's perfectly fine. The ones that accept I think know me well enough to understand there is no ulterior motive other than to eat, talk and have fun. Nothing more, nothing less.

Yes, this is a business, but these are businesses run by independent owners. They aren't franchises that follow specific rules and protocol. Every woman handles these situations differently. Provider A may be perfectly fine going out to eat OTC after a paid session while Provider B may want to be paid no matter what. Nothing wrong with either case, but how are we to know the difference without asking?

I was looking at a provider's website a while back, and she had it stated clearly that she didn't spend off-the-clock time with clients. That didn't stop me from seeing her, but at least I knew not to invite her to eat afterwards. If you are so offended by a simple question, I recommend you try doing the same thing. As many posters here have proven, it's okay to ask, at least with some providers. If they keep asking and won't accept no for an answer, then that's different.

Yes, this is a fantasy, but I would hope every woman I chose to spend time with liked me at least a little bit. You might think you're a good actress, but if you truly hate your job, you won't be able to hide it from everybody. Some of us can see through that disguise. I wouldn't want to spend time with a provider that, in reality, was disgusted or repulsed by me and just there to collect the envelope. In my mind that's the equivalent of forcing a person to do something they really don't want to do.

I have offered (and been accepted) "I am heading to dinner. If you would care to join me, and have the time, let's enjoy the meal. If not I understand." But as noted the rapport has to be there first before I'd think of offering.

We have to eat sometimes. If my companion is hungry, let's munch.

Everyone has different boundaries as well as a different sense of boundaries. As long as you are both comfortable with it what is the concern?


With some women I have both a great OTC and OnTC relationship. In these cases we have seen each other many times OnTC, got to know each other (real rather than the fantasy persona), and have discovered shared interests. In those cases sometimes it’s an OTC meal after an OnTC session. Sometimes it’s a strictly OTC, to do something we both happen to enjoy. Sometimes I suggest, sometimes they do. No pressure either way.


It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen and works quite well.

Yes, this is a fantasy, but I would hope every woman I chose to spend time with liked me at least a little bit. You might think you're a good actress, but if you truly hate your job, you won't be able to hide it from everybody. Some of us can see through that disguise. I wouldn't want to spend time with a provider that, in reality, was disgusted or repulsed by me and just there to collect the envelope. In my mind that's the equivalent of forcing a person to do something they really don't want to do. Originally Posted by The Nameless One

Agreed!

I have offered (and been accepted) "I am heading to dinner. If you would care to join me, and have the time, let's enjoy the meal. If not I understand." But as noted the rapport has to be there first before I'd think of offering.

We have to eat sometimes. If my companion is hungry, let's munch. Originally Posted by SR Only

I can tell you'd be so much fun!

Most say they "love what they do." I'm sure they love it as long as they hear ka-ching. If you took the cash out of the equation, I'd be willing to bet a lot of them wouldn't be doing bbbjs or f*^king. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Yes this is a business...But isn't the reason for ANYONE working in general to make money???...So you have 2 options, do a job you don't like for money, or choose to do a job you do like for money... Originally Posted by Valerie

Charles, as a true cynic myself, sometimes even I find your cynicism a bit misdirected. As Val points out, couldn't your comment be applied to anyone who says "i love my job"?

Charles, as a true cynic myself, sometimes even I find your cynicism a bit misdirected. As Val points out, couldn't your comment be applied to anyone who says "i love my job"? Originally Posted by Doove

Yes, and furthemore, you can't compare what we do to what a Doctor does. If he spends an extra hour saving someone's life, that's not exactly screwing a random stranger for free. IOW getting USED only for your body. I am not being asked to save a life, feed a child, or buy a meal here....I am being asked to screw yet another guy for free. If anyone here asked me for money to feed their children, you can bet I would not hesitate, but don't haggle over something you don't NEED to begin with!



Most women are here because they like sex but don't want to be used only for that without getting something in return. So, it's back to my original question....why is it OK for guys to want ONLY sex, and not ok for a girl to want the money? Sorry, it is what it is.

If you don't think enough of me to see I am more than just a whore, why should we feel that same empathy about your money lol. I don't see many marriage proposals going on, so nuff said. It IS a business.

Most women are here because they like sex but don't want to be used only for that without getting something in return. So, it's back to my original question....why is it OK for guys to want ONLY sex, and not ok for a girl to want the money? Sorry, it is what it is. Originally Posted by London Rayne

Yes, and furthemore, you can't compare what we do to what a Doctor does. Originally Posted by London Rayne

Maybe we should ask a OBGYN doctor. Or GI!

Maybe we should ask a OBGYN doctor. Or GI! Originally Posted by SR Only

Yea, and I bet he will say the last thing he wants to look at on his off time is another kitty.

Now with that said, after reading Alex's post here...I think the real question would be....

Who in their right mind WOULD want to spend any time with her???? Originally Posted by vkmaster

Why not? Let's be honest here - Alex is only saying about all her clients what every girl says about what is probably a majority of their clients.

It's like the old atheism argument - even believers discount the existence of any number of gods. Atheists only take it 1 god further.

Let's be real about this "business." Instead of being a Wal-Mart greeter or a convenience store stocker, ladies in this "business" are able to make $300 to $3000 an hour just on their bbbj or f*^king skillz. Where else could someone get that kind of income?

Most say they "love what they do." I'm sure they love it as long as they hear ka-ching. If you took the cash out of the equation, I'd be willing to bet a lot of them wouldn't be doing bbbjs or f*^king.

And for those ladies that say they are paid for their time alone, just take bcd out of the equation and see what your income does. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Charles, I don't really understand why your statement is specific to this industry? You could say that about any job. Take a highly paid lawyer and put him into another area of law where he is getting paid peanuts and you've got the same situation. It would require a change of lifestyle (and I'm not just talking about expensive clothes etc) and changing your goals (can you still afford to go to grad school? Can you still afford to put your kids in private school etc?), that most just don't want to commit to on a f/t basis. Is that wrong? Not if it works for them. My lawyer frequently gets asked by his clients to go to lunch/dinner etc. Sure he goes to one or two with his current and regular clients and he weighs the options of spending time with potential new clients that way but the latter is always contingent on retaining that person as a client. Would he give up billable hours to spend more non-paid time with clients? Hell no! Bottom line is money is a motivator to some degree for almost everyone. Now to what degree it motivates is another angle altogether...but your statement isn't exclusive by any means to jobs in the sex industry.

C x

Well said Camille.

Like ladies? I am a lady. Confused here. Originally Posted by Naomi4u

I meant the OTC after request, it seems the man at times wants to continue and to treat us special.

I know for some its just extended time they seek with out having to compensate for our time...

Let's be clear about some things: I have never asked for, or expected, OTC time from anyone. Nor would I ask for it or expect it in the future.

First of all, I'm so unlikeable I have to pay someone to spend time with me, much more to be willing to have sex. It's been true for any relationship I've ever had. It's just that some are merely cash transactions while others have been a whole lot more and the toll has been greater.

@Camille--I target this industry because I can think of no other industry in which a person with no skills or trade can command this kind of income. And the mere fact that so many feel it's necessary to say they enjoy their work kind of makes one wonder.

If, God forbid, (and I have no idea what your education/talents are in RL, but you are highly intelligent) you suffered a crippling accident or disfigurement which rendered you incapable of continuing in this trade, do you have another trade/skill in which you can rely? At the same income level? Probably not, but even if you do have a skill/trade that gives you a moderate living, most of the ladies I've met don't. They're lucky if they cant string 6 words together to make a complete sentence. And I think that's pretty typical.

just my .02.

Charles, You sound so bitter.