Questions for the guys: why do you hobby?

I’m the female half of a relationship. Have you thought of approaching your wife/gf to participate in the hobbying? You might be surprised. Originally Posted by Twopervs

I had an affair for a short while early in the marriage but after reconciling with my wife I let the other woman go. A few years later while in bed with my wife she told me she had a fantasy about seeing me in bed with another woman. It turned her on just thinking about it.

However, although I wanted to try it, I didn’t go there and I quickly put it out of my mind. I didn’t know if it was a trap or if she really wanted to see me with another woman.

Maybe I should bring it up now that we’ll soon be empty nesters.

I’m the male half of the relationship. That’s pretty much how it started with us. I thought it was a trap also but decided to go for it. We did try swinger clubs first. You might bring that up.

If you're married, are you hobbying because you're not getting any at home? Or is it that you want a different type of experience than what you get at home? What do you get in the hobby that you don't get at home? (aside from an STD - that's a joke, people)

If you're single, do you hobby because you don't have time for a relationship? Or don't want a relationship but obviously still have needs?

I'm curious about the different reasons that men hobby... Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

My partner and I split in 2015. I tried online dating for a couple of years. There were a few short term relationships. I'm a full figured AA and embarrassed to recall how many messages I sent. It's just not worth the effort during my off time. I do not have the time to do it the old fashioned way between work, the commute, errands, and sleep. Regardless, I'm not into the bar scene unless the bar is haunted.

My first reason is I've grown weary of girlfriending. My second reason is a bad work/life balance. My third reason is I can't touch myself to adult films forever. I'd like to think that I've developed a sensual taste over the last 20 years. You can read what I mean in my signature. When I see a woman with a cosmic ass; I want to know what she smells like. I want to know what to know what she tastes like.

I'm going to lean on the hobby to bridge the gap between her body and my desire. It'll do until I can figure something out. It's nice to know that I can spend some quality time bcd with someone that I could only dream about. Also, it's cool that I can connect with someone who will enjoy what I have to offer. It's the perfect relationship for feeding my insatiable appetite during a tough spot in my life.

Single (divorced for three years after 23 years of marriage)

I still struggle with depression and periodically isolate myself for up to a week at a time.

It feels like it's just better if I don't do a relationship right now.

It's not fair to a significant other that I'd rather be left alone pretty much 95% of the time. For that remaining 5% when I want/need some companionship, it's so much better to find it in the hobby.

If my gf was good at head or did it more often I’d probably never started hobbying. We have plenty of sex but she only likes missionary and cowgirl and that’s it. I need more variety than that to stay satisfied.

I have a kink streak a mile long, and though my wife is willing to indulge my various fetishes, but infrequently. It is easier once in a while to find someone who can perform them, every few months.

I've been divorced for 4.5 years and I originally got into the hobby as the divorce came out of nowhere and really hit me hard. I went 9 months without sex (longest time since I was 16, lol) during the whole save-the-marriage, separation, divorce process. When it wrapped I was strongly desiring female companionship (and sex) but was not in any emotional state to have a romantic relationship so I signed up here and at P411 and had - mostly - great experiences. I also had a couple of sugar babies that were very mutually positive and aided in my healing.

I am an ok looking, fit guy in my 50s and do pretty well with civvies, so lately I hobby in between civvie relationships. Also love good FBSMs so I do that more often than FS. I don't do FS when civvie goes mutually exclusive. This approach is working well for me.

I bet she figured out long ago if she uses teeth you won't request blowies as much

I spend too much time and energy dating. Sometimes if you just want to get a blowie and focus on other things in life. Also it's not worth getting a girls hopes up for dating if you are just trying to get laid. Not sure if it was ok in my 20's but def not now. You pay for it one way or another.

Also I am a BJ fanatic. I need as many as I can before I die.

I miss the really good 60 second encounter with OP Clare

Where is Claire these days?

Where is Claire these days? Originally Posted by Kirk615

OHHH she pops in every once in a while.......

She's probably looking for her phone again?? lol

You won't believe me, but the hobby was prescribed by my doctor friend. I have to be careful what I say here, because my wife might read this and know who I am.

I was making love to the same lady for 30+ years. Before marriage, girls used to drop their panties with just one look from me. I was pretty back then. When I married I thought I had the love for variety out of my system and thought I could stay with one woman for the rest of my life. Then, after all those years, it stopped working. To get an errection, my wife had to work hard. Regardless, I completely stopped having ejaculations. I finally got professional help from my buddy. He prescribed Testerone therapy and gave me the link to ECCIE. In just two months I have had 10 encounters; all with ejaculations. I am starting to enjoy sex with my wife again and have decreased my encounters with these great providers (therapists). I doubt I will completely give up the hobby, but now I can be a little more selective who I see. UTR Hottie and Valentina are the best therapists in town, if anyone wants to know.

You won't believe me, but the hobby was prescribed by my doctor friend. I have to be careful what I say here, because my wife might read this and know who I am.

I was making love to the same lady for 30+ years. Before marriage, girls used to drop their panties with just one look from me. I was pretty back then. When I married I thought I had the love for variety out of my system and thought I could stay with one woman for the rest of my life. Then, after all those years, it stopped working. To get an errection, my wife had to work hard. Regardless, I completely stopped having ejaculations. I finally got professional help from my buddy. He prescribed Testerone therapy and gave me the link to ECCIE. In just two months I have had 10 encounters; all with ejaculations. I am starting to enjoy sex with my wife again and have decreased my encounters with these great providers (therapists). I doubt I will completely give up the hobby, but now I can be a little more selective who I see. UTR Hottie and Valentina are the best therapists in town, if anyone wants to know. Originally Posted by Low-T

3 years ago, at 53 year of age, I had a full CBC test done and my testosterone level was 310, at the very low end of normal (doc said normal range was 300-700). Started strength training with a trainer right after that. 1 hour workouts 3 times a week. I can now deadlift 180% of bodyweight, do 10 pullups and 20 dips in a row and finally benched my body weight. I've gained 13 lbs, lost a 1/2" in waist, down to 15% body fat and my testosterone level shot up to 480 as of last May, with no supplements or hormone therapy. I suspect it will be >500 at next yearly appt in May. Erections are stronger and last longer.

Strength training works wonders on body, mind and T level. I will try to do it for the rest of my life. I recommend strongly for men (and women) of any age.

I got as low as 98. My body quit producing T altogether. I am doomed to take the treatments till I die.

Wow, we sound like a commercial for the Low-T Center.