Relationships Beyond The Hobby

Putting them in your shoes seems to be what you are doing Camille.

My point was to put yourself in their shoes. Not with your mindset but with theirs.

If you can do that it is much easier to predicate future behavior by others, after all we should be able to predicate our own for the most part. For example I do not see myself shooting someone for sport. A psychopath would be a different story. To keep from getting shot a by a psychopath it might be a wise idea for me to at least be able to pretend that there are other personalities other than mine.

You are right , I do not remember the details but I think I remember the jest and to that I was trying to make the above point.

In this current exercise many are able to put themselves in one another's shoes because they have been there but some seem to think it will never work because it did not work for them while in those shoes, the first trick is putting yourself in a pair of shoes that you have never been in. Of course IMHO.

That is what the gent from NE (wasn't he from the NorthEast?) was , I think, trying to get us to do. We got caught up on the lying part which and I fully agreed with him about when he countered that we all lie.

Lastly, if I recall, his intentions did not seem bad. He seemed to want a fairy tale ending.

So nothing has changed the way I feel about the situtation.....people have a very hard time putting themselves in others shoes unless they have walked them and even then they tend to think other should walk like they do in them. The second trick is not only putting yourself in another shoes that you have never been in but also in their mindset at the time. Originally Posted by WTF

You try so hard to make some point...and sometimes it is a point that just doesn't matter.

If you shoot someone...or a psychopath shoots someone...shooting someone is still a pretty shitty thing to do. Motivation does not matter except to the elitists.

In your referenced example of the escort coming to the house...it also was a shitty thing to do. How holy his motivations were, does not excuse the shittyness.

In this thread folks are giving their opinion. No one is saying it is a shitty thing to do...albeit some believe it ain't too bright.a

It is headed either very bad , bad , good or very good. Originally Posted by WTF

I think you covered all the possibilities there.

I think you covered all the possibilities there. Originally Posted by pjorourke

Read my heading PJ in the orginial post....and this one, they are one and the same.

''The Bell Curve would tend to favor bad to very bad. ''

I have always said that love isn't some finite substance, it isn't a pie being split up. I don't have less love for one person because I also love another. Love is infinite. I do find that I can only have one dedicated partner, because time IS finite, only so many hours in a day. So I generally have a dedicated partner, then I have playmates. As long as no one is mislead I find it works nicely. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

I think I would classify this as being non-monogamous, not polyamorous. A subtle difference to be sure but still a difference.

I've always said, there's no such thing as easy money. Not even in this business. However, regardless of what business you're in, you can choose a different career if you're unhappy.

Hardly. However, you don't read all the boards I post on, nor have you been on this board during my whole posting history. I've often said that when I started out I hated myself and I'm thrilled that the men I'm fond of didn't meet me in my early ears, I think they'd have been terribly disappointed. I wasn't a descent provider until my third year. However, I never assumed all men were awful to women, and when I was unhappy in this business, I looked at ways of changing my business model so that I could be happy - again, choices. I don't accept misogyny and I would never support misandry. Being in this business isn't an excuse for misandry. Saying a man can't see a prostitute as anything but a prostitute classifies as just that in my opinion (and that's all it is, opinion). Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Hi Lauren,
I see your point and thanks for clarifying that for me. You`re right that i have not seen your whole posting history, so i should not judge your attitude by just one post, that is true indeed.
When it comes to choices of career, that is true in our social circles where we are kind of spoiled to have a choice. SOme women don`t have a choice. I am talking about third world here. Not everyone has a "choice" of a variety of careers you can be into. In Thailand for example prostitution is seen completely different. I have travelled there for a long time and for long periods and i know quite a bit of women who don`t have a choice or of transgenders who don`t either.

When it comes to men seing women just as prostitutes, its a difficult matter indeed. It depends on how a woman sees the job, who the clients are she interacts with and it depends on which words ultimately collide when two "stars" (as in people as in Aleister Crowley ;-)....) intertwine and sparkle or collide together.
Sometimes its explosive and it leaves back a darkness and sometimes its getting brighter. I have had all kinds of experiences , so its hard to judge. ;-) I am just someone who tries to bring across a holistic point of view, neither do i paint all rosy in escorting nor do i paint it all black. Its a job like some are, some things are good and some things are bad in it. Its a matte rof choices or of something you grow into.
And some clients are misogynistic, and its not always so easy to see. And some women hate men , and its not so easy to see either :-). Escorting aside or not.

You try so hard to make some point...and sometimes it is a point that just doesn't matter.
Originally Posted by Rudyard K

I can see to you where this statement is true.

Nobody's point but yours matters.

If you shoot someone...or a psychopath shoots someone...shooting someone is still a pretty shitty thing to do. Motivation does not matter except to the elitists.
Originally Posted by Rudyard K

Not to a psychopath! See Rudyard, you just can not put yourself in another's mindset. A psychopath thinks nothing of killing. They may not want to go to prison but they have no morals about the function of killing. My guess is you run in way more elitists circles than lil lo me btw.

By elitists, do you mean someone that actually uses their brain for something other than a hat rack?


We can mostly all agree that shooting someone is a shitty thing.

But can we agree that shooting someone in self defense is a shitty thing?

Accidently shooting someone is a shitty thing?

Shooting the the enemy is a shitty thing?


Elitists questions Rudyard?

In this thread folks are giving their opinion. No one is saying it is a shitty thing to do...albeit some believe it ain't too bright.a Originally Posted by Rudyard K

And I am giving my opinion.

I do not think most people put themselves in others shoes and others mindset at the time to really try and understand others POV.

You prove this time and time again.

by Lauren Summerhill
I have always said that love isn't some finite substance, it isn't a pie being split up. I don't have less love for one person because I also love another. Love is infinite. I do find that I can only have one dedicated partner, because time IS finite, only so many hours in a day. So I generally have a dedicated partner, then I have playmates. As long as no one is mislead I find it works nicely.

I think I would classify this as being non-monogamous, not polyamorous. A subtle difference to be sure but still a difference. Originally Posted by discreetgent

Same here, it is called "open relationships" not polyamorous. That is a very important distinction. I am clearly polyamorous, as in loving more than one partner and have more than one devoted relationship. I don`t play around. My partners do though. Although i have a friends with benefits relationship at the moment, but that is just unfolding. We have an intense spiritual chemistry and meditate togehter sex magick practices. Things will get more intense. Pure sexual relationships are a turn off for me in my private life. Even in my business life i try to avoid them ;-)

I have had many times the happening that people classify themselves as polyamorous when they met me and then were shocked when i did have parallel relationships. I told them that this IS polyamory and what they do is open relationships.

Lauren: Now - given that information - its also better comprehensible for me why you have partners that so easily accept you playing around even though they are monogamous. Because its an open relationship with devotion to only one partner in love. That is something even monos can accept. My partners have had difficulties with me being poly because of the devotion part, so i was kind of surprised that it was so easy for you :-). My people play around too - kinky parties - but it took them a while to get adjuste dto the idea that i am truly involved with more than one in LOVE. (The best response i got once was "Oh i am polyamorous" - "but i don`t do parallel relationships and have a hard time with you doing that..." .......(like ...?????......)

I think I would classify this as being non-monogamous, not polyamorous. A subtle difference to be sure but still a difference. Originally Posted by discreetgent

Agreed on the non-mono part but I think it is more than a subtle difference to be sure.

For example if you are on the wrong end of ''I love you but I have no time for you'', I doubt that you are going to be really feeling the love.

Be like having two dogs and petting'em both but only feeding one! I do understand that some people's self esteem is so low that this is actually a boost to it. So i see nothing wrong with it.

You think if you had two kids and did that the one not getting the time would feel the same love. Is it really the same love if you make the choice not to spend time with another? My mind is a racing with questions!

Then a few weeks ago we ended my celibacy.
I don't know where this relationship is headed. It may end in a few months. But it totally reinvigorated me. Originally Posted by vickinicole

It is headed either very bad , bad , good or very good.

Best of luck to you. Originally Posted by WTF

[From the Atlanta Thread started by Clair Jordan] i am sorry you've had that experience Claire. This is very disheartening as I may be moving to Atlanta at the end of May. Originally Posted by vickinicole

With this information, I suspect it is headed to a bad ending.

For example if you are on the wrong end of ''I love you but I have no time for you'', I doubt that you are going to be really feeling the love.

Be like having two dogs and petting'em both but only feeding one! I do understand that some people's self esteem is so low that this is actually a boost to it. So i see nothing wrong with it. Originally Posted by WTF

Oh i have been on that end too :-). For me love ends when it gets to be a judgement. As in i love this one more than you....(lol) .... how would you measure love? Science has failed to do so? People can? Hello?? I don`t play second class citizen ;.). If someone does nto love me without classifying it then "goodbye" . My life time is too precious to waste for people like that.

i love all kinds of beautiful fishes out there. lauren summerhill, when are you migrating to our shores here in dallas.

Oh i have been on that end too :-). For me love ends when it gets to be a judgement. As in i love this one more than you....(lol) .... . Originally Posted by ninasastri

i love all kinds of beautiful fishes out there. lauren summerhill, when are you migrating to our shores here in dallas. Originally Posted by playtimedallas

Speaking of fish, What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Motivation does not matter except to the elitists.
Originally Posted by Rudyard K

That is interesting and i have to agree. Me as old anarchist Punk :-) .

WTF

For some reason I can't quote your post that responded to me...but that is what this is a response to. That old thread you are talking about escalated because people took the time initially to ask him exactly what shoes he was in to try and understand where he was coming from. Now, if he did a shitty job explaining that then that's his problem because it's not as though he wasn't articulate was it? And whatever he was saying came across as offensive to several people who also knew the escort that what involved. The bottom line was, he had an opportunity to see said escort but the only waybhe could pull it off was to invite her into to the wife's home. Several people gave examples of when opportunities have come up for them but they had declined to meet due to the inappropriateness of it all.....so people did put themselves in similar shoes. Btw, that particular man had zero respect for people's privacy full stop as he demonstrated with multiple other escorts further down the line.

Camille

Wtf...as for you saying your post was aimed at Rudy...you actually aimed it as a question for "old timers"...not Rudy, which is why I responded.