Bullying

And F2C everyones sweet to me why do you think I like to taste ya"ll so much yummmmy Originally Posted by shayla84

I will not let anything or anyone control my voice. I wouldn't last a day in the Army. I make a lot of enemies very quickly and get blocked or defriended on social media thangs often due to the fact that I question authority, play devil's advocate and stand the fuck up for myself. I have gotten very close to being arrested when I wasn't even the person of interest because I was so concerned about profiling and wouldn't stop asking questions.

I am a strong woman, inside and out, and when it is important enough, I will not play like a weak little girl even if it means I lose followers or potential clients. In the bedroom, however, unless a client disrespects me or my home (or the things in it), that time is meant for their pleasure and most men aren't looking for a debate, so I don't give them one.

I'd have more voice on the boards if I were on them more. I usually stay off just because I don't have the time, I forget to check them out and my computer is a slow POS that makes surfing the boards incredibly frustrating - which is a probably a good thing. My mouth, though very handy and spectacular in the bedroom, would probably get me into a lot of trouble in here

Nice thread, Claire! I was cheering while reading your entire OP

There seems to be a few disagreements about the semantics of "bullying." I'm not too interested in that term specifically as it hasn't applied to me specifically (which doesn't mean that it hasn't happened to anyone), but I think it's irrefutable to say that some of the men that qualify as the most vocal in this place are often disrespectful to the women here. I'm not being tenderhearted and butt-hurt when I say this, I'm just making an observation. Some men routinely put down the women here in several ways as some fucked up power trip that I haven't quite figured out. Examples? Sure.

In one thread providers are given grief over charging too much (well, in plenty of threads) because we aren't worth the donation. We're not as hot as other girls who give it up for much less. Two threads later, our low prices are used to point out that we aren't part of the A-Team. Um, OK. This isn't a good discussion of how a woman determines rates for herself but in both instances it's used to pin specific girls down as being less than others.

When women are active in discussions, we're often laughed at for our opinions. If I say x and you say "well no, b/c you're wrong," I'm going to be a bit more pointed in my reply. Not because I'm mean, but because you weren't providing a valid argument to counter mine. If I said x and you said not x, but y, that would be a productive discussion, debate, disagreement, whatever. And the latter does happen, it's simply a rare occurrence. Just saying "hahaha, whatever" is both disrespectful and shitty argumentation. Virtual high-fives are handed out "oh, you sure showed her!"

Women are given shit for not doing enough to better our businesses, not taking hobbyists' needs into account, or not being sincere. When we actively participate in these forums to figure out what the other side of the fence is thinking or just to participate, we're shot down and told our posts are just threADs, we're just in it for the money anyway so what we're saying is just a marketing ploy, and if we were any good at what we do, we'd be too busy sucking dick to spend time participating in discussions.

The jokes or assumptions about how we all have daddy issues, are only here to fatten our wallets but are so terrible with money that we have to stick around, only waiting for a rich man to sweep us off our feet and be our forever sugar daddy, and many others are tiring. We women can say "well...actually" only so many times before we just feel obligated to shut-up all together. Or we get pissed off and speak up with just an ounce of the vitriol we were confronted with in the first place and reamed twice as hard for it.

Hell, even the topic of "could you ever date a provider" makes me laugh. I'm a sex worker, sure...but I'm many other things. 80% of the men always say no, and it makes me think of the men I've dated who have had no fucking clue as to my provider persona. I'm sure those guys would have wigged out, too. But just the clarification of "I hobby" and that meaning you have a better character of someone who says "I provide your hobby tools" makes me roll my eyes and laugh.

At the end of the day, it just gets old. The main reason many (not all, maybe not even most) women turn to this place is because we're sick of dealing with the bullshit required to get laid. It's hard to be a sexually open woman in this society without being shamed on many fronts, so it just sucks that at times this is simply another place to get some tossed our way.

And pick apart my arguments or pick me apart if you're shitty at arguing, I don't really care. I'm beyond interested in sex and all of the things associated with it so I spend time in this place to discuss it, put on my provider hat from time to time to experience it, and post on my blog a bit to dissect it, but when this place goes sour I peace out for a bit and take myself elsewhere. Originally Posted by JennsLolli

+1

but like + 897542 if I could

Been super busy so haven't been able to check into the board much if at all, so apologies for stirring up old hornet nests.

It's curious how cyclical this all is. If we're not complaining about providers being bullied off the board, we're complaining about the lack of providers posting. Or that too many are, content free, and the board's nothing but threADs.

Yet nothing really changes. People realize how ugly other people can get, swear off posting long enough, drama dies down long enough for new providers to start flirty banter and then get shut down for it because they aren't doing any business so clearly they just have plenty of time to post on the boards and then there's the inevitable responses of how guys who do nothing but post on boards are grotesquely obese (did I spell that right, 19Trees?) wannabes who - this next part is going to shock you, I know - pay women to have sex with them. Everyone promptly gets insulted, storms off to sulk, Rockerrick gets banned again, the board is dead, and then after a while someone pokes the ashes with a stick (spoiler: it's usually Whispers) and it all starts up again.

I guess we can thank Trees for at least bringing slightly different drama to the table, but overall it ends up with a lot of angry and bitter people who don't really relate well to each other.

That isn't to excuse bullying - it's a form of control, and a very ugly one. It's basically slutshaming taken to a very odd and weird co-dependent level, and it's done specifically as an attack. It shouldn't be tolerated - but it is. And so it goes.

"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?"

I will not let anything or anyone control my voice. I wouldn't last a day in the Army. I make a lot of enemies very quickly and get blocked or defriended on social media thangs often due to the fact that I question authority, play devil's advocate and stand the fuck up for myself. I have gotten very close to being arrested when I wasn't even the person of interest because I was so concerned about profiling and wouldn't stop asking questions. Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow

There might be a line between strong and abrasive as indicated by your social network feedback. To paraphrase Dr. Phil "Would you whether be happy or right?" If you are happy with the outcomes, carry-on.

B
"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?" Originally Posted by Qziz

LOL, FANTASTIC quote from WAR Games. So fitting, THX Qziz and welcome back

There might be a line between strong and abrasive as indicated by your social network feedback. To paraphrase Dr. Phil "Would you whether be happy or right?" If you are happy with the outcomes, carry-on. Originally Posted by saustin

Never abrasive, that's not really in my personality on or offline. A

I'm happy when I am right. I'm unhappy if I shut my mouth because I'm afraid of what other people with think or do when they hear my opinions or when I don't play like a weak little girl to those in authority.

Sadly, so few people are comfortable enough with themselves and whatever negative feedback they may get (b/c there is always someone who wont agree with you), that sometimes simply speaking your mind or voicing an unpopular opinion is viewed as "abrasive" or "rude."

Well, how do you feel when you have an opinion, you voiced it strongly enough to upset others and then it later turns out you were wrong? Because Dr. Phil might say that if you see your world where any situation can become potentially adversarial in order to defend your point of view, that you might have serious control issues and may be acting in some cases in a purely defensive, reflexive and reactionary way to an illusory threat and in so doing are actually empowering others with the ability to provoke you into impulsive actions or statements which can be eventually prove detrimental to your welfare. Dr. Phil would probably recommend counseling to help you strike a balance if you are easily provoked and then rationalize or justify a less-than-reasonable response by simply labeling it "being strong".

Hey, what happened to that Texas "thang" of yours??? Got bullied out of it?
or running for President now, are we?

Well, how do you feel when you have an opinion, you voiced it strongly enough to upset others and then it later turns out you were wrong? Because Dr. Phil might say that if you see your world where any situation can become potentially adversarial in order to defend your point of view, that you might have serious control issues and may be acting in some cases in a purely defensive, reflexive and reactionary way to an illusory threat and in so doing are actually empowering others with the ability to provoke you into impulsive actions or statements which can be eventually prove detrimental to your welfare. Dr. Phil would probably recommend counseling to help you strike a balance if you are easily provoked and then rationalize or justify a less-than-reasonable response by simply labeling it "being strong". Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst

That is unbelievably creepy for some reason.

That is unbelievably creepy for some reason. Originally Posted by junkweed

What scares me it that I understand it.

Spot on as usual, Qziz! The results of the thread I posted forced me to evaluate some things in my life, including the hobby. Now, how to proceed?!

Can I come lay on your couch for a while? I have a feeling you are much smarter than my current therapist!!

Can I come lay on your couch for a while? I have a feeling you are much smarter than my current therapist!! Originally Posted by Scarlett Rossi

No, but we should talk about my laying on yours.

Been super busy so haven't been able to check into the board much if at all, so apologies for stirring up old hornet nests.

It's curious how cyclical this all is. If we're not complaining about providers being bullied off the board, we're complaining about the lack of providers posting. Or that too many are, content free, and the board's nothing but threADs.

Yet nothing really changes. People realize how ugly other people can get, swear off posting long enough, drama dies down long enough for new providers to start flirty banter and then get shut down for it because they aren't doing any business so clearly they just have plenty of time to post on the boards and then there's the inevitable responses of how guys who do nothing but post on boards are grotesquely obese (did I spell that right, 19Trees?) wannabes who - this next part is going to shock you, I know - pay women to have sex with them. Everyone promptly gets insulted, storms off to sulk, Rockerrick gets banned again, the board is dead, and then after a while someone pokes the ashes with a stick (spoiler: it's usually Whispers) and it all starts up again.

I guess we can thank Trees for at least bringing slightly different drama to the table, but overall it ends up with a lot of angry and bitter people who don't really relate well to each other.

That isn't to excuse bullying - it's a form of control, and a very ugly one. It's basically slutshaming taken to a very odd and weird co-dependent level, and it's done specifically as an attack. It shouldn't be tolerated - but it is. And so it goes.

"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?" Originally Posted by Qziz

Next time someone comes back after a break and asks "so, what'd I miss", just show them this post. It about sums up what I've seen in the three years I've been here.