Things you guys NEED to know....

Jarvis; that's hilarious!!! But I have to disagree; I'd toss ALL of them!!!

lmao! That was super funny

Guys wash your Ass and never do a session without showering either before you get there or when you get there. Oh yeah, let the provider know you need to shower before as a courtesy. I can't stand to smell my own sweaty balls, I would be embrassed to allow a fine lady to experience that funk!
Grow up fellows!!!

I was raised where manners were taught and considered to be very important. And dirty ass or not if I didn't show good manners I got that ass beat. All through this thread I just kept thinking how in the world could this be? My good manners side says it must be pure fiction but my realistic side is telling me there are probably rude assholes running around that just don't care (I was going to say don't give a shit but obviously they do).

Personally I am very anal about my anus. Last thing I do before leaving the house to see a provider is shower and scrub my ass with Clorox. On rare occasions where I go from work or somewhere and feel there might be the slightest chance of a dirty ass I take a shower at the provider's place. But I would never go to a provider's after doing #2 even if with the possibility of taking a shower at her place. Call me anal but I want to do my ass scrubbing at my place.

Concerning providers offering showers, I've never had a problem but I can see where it could be. I've had sessions where time seemed to be no concern while others were run with military precision down to the last second. And if a provider is booking sessions too close together that's an entirely different problem. I was going to be 5-10 minutes late one time because of traffic so I called the provider to let her know. Bear in mind I called like 30 minutes before the scheduled start time. I got an earful telling me how this was upsetting her entire schedule and day and bla bla bla. Honey, in a city as large as Dallas things are going to happen and you should be planning at least 5-10 minutes of fluff time. So in the interest of preserving her schedule I just winked out.

Sorry I got a bit off topic there.............

This thread reminds me of a review on the old ASPD site where the provider's friend was in the bathroom taking a dump and stinking up the entire room while the guy was trying to both have a session and not puke. And when she was done she came out of the bathroom and offered to join in! I swear it was the funniest review I ever read.

^^^That is hilarious... i could only imagine his face

Thinck bitter beer face.

Does anyone have a cure for the burning sensation in your eyes when you stumble on certain photos like the one THN posted?

Brass Balls- Lol @ military precision

Originally Posted by LazurusLong

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEzYNw0SiY0

I have been with a few providers who smelled like they needed a wipe. Guys, have you ever had a lady get into doggy position, then you get a wiff of booty stink?

has experienced that in the past.

I think all the girls should take pics of the Sheet/Comforter Skid Marks and create a thread called "Rate My Skid Mark."

I have been with a few providers who smelled like they needed a wipe. Guys, have you ever had a lady get into doggy position, then you get a wiff of booty stink? Originally Posted by jimmy simpson

Thanks for bringing back some very bad memories! I was in my 20's and stopped in at one of the "modeling studios" that used to be all over Dallas. So I'm dating myself some here. This 20-something lady comes out and is the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Tall, long legs, slender, stomach you could bounce a quarter off of, tits that looked like a dead heat in a Zeppelin race, and an ass to die for. All wrapped in a very sexy little T-back thing and very high heels. Immediately I'm harder than Chinese arithmetic. We get to the little room, get naked, and proceed with activities. At the point of going for FS she wispers in my ear all sexy like that she loves it doggy style and would I mind pounding her hard that way? I didn't think my dick could get any harder but I swear it did.

You probably know what's coming (other than me). She gets in position with her head on the floor and that great ass up in the air, what a sight. As I maneuver into position it hits me, The worse combo smell of spoiled rotten tuna fish and shit. I mean overwhelming. So overwhelming that for the first time in my entire life I lost a boner. Couldn't do it. Even staring at that great ass sticking up in the air and trying with all my might not to breathe I couldn't do it. And you have to know at this point in my life I would fuck a pile of rocks if I thought there was a snake under it. All I could do was apologize, get dressed, and leave.

I've often thought it was a plan on her part. She gets the money, gets naked, gives a so-so blow job, and doesn't ever have to fuck. In most cases gets to end the session early like with me. All she has to do is not bathe or wipe for about a week. I once thought about stopping in again with some ear plugs crammed up my nose to try again but never did.

Dang THN...I'm probably high-school!

I found that OP shit (pun) gross and funny and sad. To leave skid marks (as an adult) on someone's bed is just freaking gross and shows a bad case of ignoring ones personal hygiene or total disrespect for what you're about to do with someone (intimately). I don't think she named the guy in this thread? (or at least I didn't see that).

I'm thinking maybe a box of diaper-wipes at the door might be in order? Originally Posted by SD2011

I'm thinking the same thing...some Pamper aloe wipes and a request to use them, up front, would be in order. I mean "shit" happens, right? Dude could fart a nervous small shart on his way...instead of feeling like a "loser" maybe the incentive to get clean or get out would solve everybody's problem. There's no crime in saying "I have clean white sheets and I'd like you to hit the room and do an ass check, don't flush the wipes they fuck up the plumbing. Thank you sooooooo much, I can already taste your dick you manly fucker, so hurry up with that ass wipe and get your shiny Klingon free ass back out here ASAP!"

What's not to like about a fresh ass? No reason for anybody to feel like an asshole over an asshole, just wash that thang and everybody's happy.