Relationships Beyond The Hobby

I can see to you where this statement is true.

Nobody's point but yours matters. Originally Posted by WTF

While that may be true...it was not the point I was making.

Not to a psychopath! See Rudyard, you just can not put yourself in another's mindset. A psychopath thinks nothing of killing. They may not want to go to prison but they have no morals about the function of killing. My guess is you run in way more elitists circles than lil lo me btw.

By elitists, do you mean someone that actually uses their brain for something other than a hat rack?

We can mostly all agree that shooting someone is a shitty thing.

But can we agree that shooting someone in self defense is a shitty thing?

Accidently shooting someone is a shitty thing?

Shooting the the enemy is a shitty thing?

Elitists questions Rudyard? Originally Posted by WTF

And you seem to be concluding...because many of us looked at the description of what was done...and concluded that it was a shitty thing to do...that we have not, or are not, putting ourselves in his shoes. Some things are just wrong...no matter how you gild the lilly. Some things are just right too. And there is a whole lot of things that are grey.

I looked at his descrition of what he did. I listened to his defense of doing so. I did put myself in his shoes. And I concluded it was a shitty thing to do. Simply because you concluded differently does not make my...or others...conclusion's wrong...or right. And perhaps more to the point...mean that we did not...or do not have "Your" ability...to step in someone else's shoes. I do...I did...and I concluded it was a shitty thing to do.

And I am giving my opinion.

I do not think most people put themselves in others shoes and others mindset at the time to really try and understand others POV.

You prove this time and time again. Originally Posted by WTF

I think this is the most telling statement. You conclude that most of us don't have your ability to put ourselves in others shoes..and it appears you are drawing that conclusion because we come to a different opinion than yours.

If I think something is shitty...I'll tell you I think it is shitty. If you don't think it shitty...tell me so. But then to conclude the other doesn't have our unique abilities...because the conclusion is different...is a bit arrogant.

WTF

For some reason I can't quote your post that responded to me... Originally Posted by Camille

There may be something profound in this limitation.

WTF

For some reason I can't quote your post that responded to me...

Camille Originally Posted by Camille

There may be something profound in this limitation. Originally Posted by Rudyard K

Or it could be censorship...or board discipline instead of points being issued.

Lina

The same thing can be said about whether someone pays for a date. Do you see him as a man, less than a man or a human being just by that one act? Originally Posted by WTF

Are we still arguing over that subject?

Just because I see someone as less of a man does not mean I see them as less of a human being.

Lina

Or it could be censorship...or board discipline instead of points being issued. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Or just ask me. No I did not do anything in this thread. [thread hijack alert]I was conflicted with the thread removal. In some sense it was heavy handed, but in another I was trying to be sensitive to the posters there. They did see my posts to the thread before it was removed. I will be more restrainted should I give consideration to a similar circumstance. Leaving it out there would have not really produced any value at the point it was pulled. If anyone wishes to continue a dialog via PM I am happy to chat off-line, but there is not a need for now to hash it out here or another thread.[/thread hijack alert off]

I think this is the most telling statement. You conclude that most of us don't have your ability to put ourselves in others shoes..and it appears you are drawing that conclusion because we come to a different opinion than yours.

If I think something is shitty...I'll tell you I think it is shitty. If you don't think it shitty...tell me so. But then to conclude the other doesn't have our unique abilities...because the conclusion is different...is a bit arrogant. Originally Posted by Rudyard K

There you go thinking again! What'd we tell you about that?!

Below is exactly wtf I said, I said I agreed that it was shitty....For ME.

So my conclusion was not different than yours. I am just not arrogant enough to speak for all of humanity.

That you can speak for all of humanity , I think is the most telling statement! LOL

Well if we try and put someone in our shoes instead of theirs then it probably was a shitty thing to do.

I know if I did it it would be a shitty thing in my mind but that don't make it shitty just because someone else does it. I am not in their shoes.

. Originally Posted by WTF

Wtf...as for you saying your post was aimed at Rudy...you actually aimed it as a question for "old timers"...not Rudy, which is why I responded. Originally Posted by Camille

I understand, I was telling nina that it was not aimed at her. She had responded. She'll be an old timer in no time! though!

And whatever he was saying came across as offensive to several people who also knew the escort that what involved. The bottom line was, he had an opportunity to see said escort but the only waybhe could pull it off was to invite her into to the wife's home. Several people gave examples of when opportunities have come up for them but they had declined to meet due to the inappropriateness of it all.....so people did put themselves in similar shoes.
Camille Originally Posted by Camille

I remember is a bit different but that was not really my point. DRug addicts do stupid things, if you put yourself in their mindset though, it is not stupid to them. That is my point. To really put yourself in others shoes and mindset.

This is not that hard a concept for to people as sharp as you and Rudyard to grasp. I must be doing some shitty explaining!

Are we still arguing over that subject?

Just because I see someone as less of a man does not mean I see them as less of a human being.

Lina Originally Posted by Sensual Lina

Well then someone could argue that just because they see someone as a prostitute they do not see them as less a human.

Come on now lets try and bev consistant here.

There may be something profound in this limitation. Originally Posted by Rudyard K

HaHa....good one

Alex, my statement was not directed you YOU or YOUR relationship PERSONALLY, although it is interesting that you took it that way.


"That says something about both parties in a relationship." was in reply to very specific statement "Once a man sees you as a prostitute he will always see you that way...."

IMHO, if a man sees a woman he is dating as a prostitute first and human being second, is does say something about both parties in that relationship.

To be a prostitute one does not have to be sex worker. There are plenty of people who prostitute themselves every day in fairly mundane mainstream jobs.

Lina Originally Posted by Sensual Lina

My apologies. And you are right when you say people prostitute themselves everyday...sex workers are just the most honest about it and the ones that get a bad wrap.

My advice to the ladies that want a good relationship:

Don't date a client
Don't ever disclose you are/were a provider

Isn't this obvious?

My advice to the ladies that want a good relationship:

Don't date a client
Don't ever disclose you are/were a provider

Isn't this obvious? Originally Posted by Marshall

No it isn`t because being a cheating hypocrite and a liar is not everyones choice. Why should i hide the fact i am a provider? I think its quite manipulative and hijacking other peoples rights to make an informed decision about their lives??

Plus i have seen escorts lying about their jobs and also lying about the fact that they fuck more than one person bareback without the other people knowing. Its quite something i disrespect a lot.

So , considering what you write : Do you disrespect escorts? Or why would you suggest anyone lie about this job?
Do you think clients are to be disrespected too? Or why would you suggest to not date a client?

I think you are the perfect portrayal of the man who is participating in this hobby WITHOUT respecting escorts. Your words speak volumes.

I think trying to pursue a relationship outside the hobby is totally dependant on those involved. There is not a single formula that is going to work for everyone. You have to define your own rules and be clear about the terms of the relationship so no one gets hurt or misunderstands what level your relationship will be on.

I don't think moving to Atlanta would make us have a "bad" ending necessarily.
it would just be an ending. Not all endings are bad.

With this information, I suspect it is headed to a bad ending. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I just don't date at all while I'm a "working girl." I want to be honest with the guys I date. This won't turn out well for me in either scenario. If I'm honest and he freaks out (high likelihood), he will not stick around. If I'm honest and he's okay with it, I don't think I'd want to be with him. In the future I will of course want to be with someone who can accept what I've done in my past. I just accept that I will be a non-dating single for now and I'm okay with that.

I remember is a bit different but that was not really my point. DRug addicts do stupid things, if you put yourself in their mindset though, it is not stupid to them. That is my point. To really put yourself in others shoes and mindset.

This is not that hard a concept for to people as sharp as you and Rudyard to grasp. I must be doing some shitty explaining!




Originally Posted by WTF

Ok,,,let me try again.

We are talking about two different things.

One is philosophical. "Is bringing home an escort to meet your wife a good idea?"

That is like comparing Gods or saying that not believing in God is a good or bad thing. It is a philosophical discussion where each party determines what is right for them.


What I was trying to differentia was the reason why we might disagree. That takes it from a philosophical discussion to more a scientific one. Yes we all might even agree that a drug user should not steal the TV and sell it but if you put yourself in the mind and shoes of a druggie, you can then at least try and understand why. You might understand that their brain fires differently than others....blablabla.

Hopefully this clears up any misunderstandings Camille and Rudyard may be having as to what my point was.

I hate it when I am to dense to get a simple point across. I will keep trying you two!

I hate it when I am to dense to get a simple point across. I will keep trying you two! Originally Posted by WTF

Putting myself in their shoes: perhaps you should stop trying.

No it isn`t because being a cheating hypocrite and a liar is not everyones choice.

No idea what this means in relation to the topic......

Why should i hide the fact i am a provider?

For the same reason women under-report the number of men they slept with and why providers advertise themselves as low volume.....men don't want to share and just prefer their women to have fewer sex partners rather then more.......Also, a known provider in her personal life is going to attract fewer and lower quality partners [men who want to be with you to access your money or get the sex for free, etc...]....

I think its quite manipulative and hijacking other peoples rights to make an informed decision about their lives??

I think if providing is who you are rather than something you do, then maybe....but, most ladies who provide are just doing it for the money and for a limited period of time.....the fact that they are/were a provider won't harm the relationship......I find it a bit gross that some people need to tell the world everything about themselves...whatever happened to a little privacy?....does everybody have the right to know everything about you?....if someone didn't disclose they were married before or had a failed art career, so what? Whose business is that anyway? What does it matter?......I'm sure you don't tell everybody everything about you.......somethings are just private to the person......

Plus i have seen escorts lying about their jobs and also lying about the fact that they fuck more than one person bareback without the other people knowing. Its quite something i disrespect a lot.

Now you're talking about something very different.....whether inside or outside the hobby, health risks need to be disclosed

So , considering what you write : Do you disrespect escorts?

No....if I disclosed which ladies on this board I have seen, I could prove it, but I choose to exercise my right of privacy

Or why would you suggest anyone lie about this job?

Yes, don't admit to it in your personal life......if it's just a job you do for money, then why cause the people around you to be unhappy.......what if Mr. Perfect came along who wanted to spend his life with you? Would you really destroy his one chance at happiness by telling him something that will drive him away and cause him pain? It's not like a providing past is going to lessen the quality of the relationship..........


Do you think clients are to be disrespected too?

I am a client....isn't it obvious I respect and think quite well of myself?

Or why would you suggest to not date a client?

they know you provide

I think you are the perfect portrayal of the man who is participating in this hobby WITHOUT respecting escorts.

You get many things wrong.......

Your words speak volumes. Originally Posted by ninasastri

I wish they did! I can't even convince CT that the US is the world's energy superpower even after showing him a GOVERNMENT report saying that is so........