CL Rant and Raves... Too Funny!

So I was having fun with CL today and came across this ad in R & R from Joplin...

Incident at Jukebox, Sat Night


Anyone with impartial information as to the events that occurred Saturday night at Jukebox. Both inside the club and outside, please call or text me. There are many conflicting stories implicating persons that may not be guilty and we just need the truth. I can be reached at .....

re: jukebox incedent

Well, here's what happened. Big Josie went down to the new bar. The place was hopping, drinks were flowing. Some really drunk guy kept saying "I'll buy another round". Well after a few of those, Big Josie got kinda flushed and went over to a window. It was one of those old ones that you slide up and down. She opened it up with a lot of effort and stuck her big head outside to get some air. Well the window slid down and caught her on the neck. She was hollerin' but the music was too loud for anyone to hear her beller.
So she started wigglin' around trying to get the window up and her stretch pants fell down. Well old Bennet was asleep at the bar when he opened one eye and seen Big Josie's butt a waving around. Now he aint got no teeth but he staggered over and bit her right on the left butt cheek. KInd a gummed her really. Well old Josie really starts to beller. Old man Harper next to the bar was asleep in his layzboy and he thought he heard something. Just then Mrs. Harper walks past the door way in the hall. She had just washed her hair and had a towel around her hair.
Old man Harper bout poops his pants and grabs the phone and calls 911. He tells the operator that he seen a Ay-rabb terrorist bomber fixin' to blow somethin up in his house and that he was fixin to get his shotgun and shoot him.
In ten minutes there pulls up all three joplin police cars, two fire trucks a taxi and two ambulances with life flight circling overhead.
Big Josie is really bellerin as half the drunks in the bar done worked her over. She is chuffin' like an old air compressor and she is sweatin' and red as a beet. Old man Harper was a runnin and tripped over the cat and fell head first into his new 52" TV that he just bought at the new Walmart on Rangeline. HE was out cold and missed the rest of the show.
Old drunk Bennet was the only one who was arrested for battery and Fat Josie was arrested fer indecent exposure. They is both innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

lol found Josie

ROFLMAO!

It's a wonder she didn't fall through the window...
Maybe the guys were holding her in from the backside as suggested

That was HILARIOUS! Did you write that response or did you post it as you found it?

That was HILARIOUS! Did you write that response or did you post it as you found it? Originally Posted by MissTThick

Found it that way... went and looked at the news station and there was something mentioned... haven't been back yet to see if it got any funnier. It's fun sometimes to just check it out and I must say, that is one of the most funniest response I have read in R & R in a long time.