http://houston.craigslist.org/cas/4352028703.html
Posted: 2 hours ago
Just fucking read this, you won't be disappointed - m4w - 25 (Kirby)
age : 25 body : fit height : 5'10" (177cm) status : single
Hi there ladies. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking guy that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fuckiing found him! I'm a military contractor that travels alot for work.. Why? So I can be fucking loaded! That's right! I'll buy you every fucking season of your favorite ABC family show and then we can cuddle up in our fucking Snuggies and watch it on my fucking hyoooooge TV! You see, I haven't even met you yet and I'm offering to buy you shit! I'm the most considerate person you'll ever fucking meet. I've lived down south in the woods for most of my life, spending my days hunting small woodland animals and cutting down trees and all that shit. And yes, I have slightly calloused hands and smell like a fucking lumberjack! I'm here in this big town of Houston for the rodeo cook off so I could get rid of all my shirts and cut my jeans into daisy dukes. SUN'S OUT, GUNS OUT BABAY!
A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, and I'm chivalrous as fuck. If I see a closed door in front of you, I'm just like, "Oh shit I better open that fucking door." I whisper sweet nothings. I buy presents for no fucking reason. fuck it. I'm so fucking awesome it will blow your socks off and guess what? I'll be there to rub your feet for you. That's right! I went to the physical therapist once and they taught me everything there is to know about rubbing shit out. Can't you cook? FUCKING FANTASTIC! I'll eat whatever burnt roadkill you can make, I'll just drench that shit in ranch and tell you it tastes better than fucking Taco Bell when you're drunk! EVERY DAMN NIGHT! You're just going to have to Roofie me or juggle or some cool shit like that instead to get into my pants.
Do you like movies? I fucking love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, do yoga, hike, go shopping, make out, or we can just talk about your feelings all freaking day. It's completely UP TO YOU! I'll make any situation so fucking awesome you'll want to post it as your Facebook status!
Am I interested in you? Do you have 2 legs, 2 arms, no penis, and a personality? You can bet your fine ass I am! Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'll hook yo ass up with background checks, letters of recommendation, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, pictures of bowling trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. Now if I just blow jobbed your mind with how fucking awesome I am and you can find your way back to the key board from rofling all over the place send me a message preferably with a picture!
Live, Laugh, Love <3
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
post id: 4352028703 posted: 2 hours ago updated: 2 hours ago email to friend ♥ best of
