Johnny’s girlfriend was in labor with their first child. She was shouting out, “Get this out of me! Give me the drugs.”
She looked at him and said, “You did this to me you fucker!”
He casually replied, “If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, 'it’ll be too painful!’.”
- hotrix1
- 07-31-2017, 07:34 PM
- Laney Lixx
- 07-31-2017, 08:05 PM
LMFAO!!!!
- Laney Lixx
- 07-31-2017, 08:06 PM
Always good to see you haven't forgot about us babe!
- Easy Does It
- 08-01-2017, 08:19 PM
- hotrix1
- 08-02-2017, 02:02 PM
How could I forget the Panhandle? How could I forget my time in the South? I would sooner cut off my left nut. BTW, Arizona SUCKS!!
These AZ-tards are DEAD from the neck up on the AZ forum. No sense of humor, and write crappy reviews to boot. A fucking snoozefest. Guess the heat does them in. And that's just the hobbyists.
Half the fucking population can't drive worth a shit, the other half shouldn't be driving but insist on driving anyway. Just this past weekend I saw an old fart way past his driving days jump his minivan over a concrete curb guard and onto the curb before coming to a stop before hitting the front door of a store in Scottsdale. Good fucking grief. Fucking AZtard needs his license revoked and keys taken away before he kills someone other than himself. And that's just one of many incidents I've witnessed here.
A couple of months ago, I had a bird fly full speed directly into my truck grill and commit suicide (because of the heat?) kamikaze style. Fuck this "dry heat" bullshit. It drives even the animals insane when it's above 120 fuckin' degrees. And there have already been a couple of days where it hit over 120. When it gets that hot, even commercial planes are grounded because the air is too thin to allow for safe takeoffs and landings.
A lot of the providers are over-rated and overpriced. Bitchez long way past the sell by date and a lot of them still commanding top dollar because dumb old fucks with more money than sense don't recognize the difference between mature, long in the tooth, and just plain fucking geriatric. The heat must get to them also.
Just the other day I saw an ad where a whore says she'll do outcalls to nursing homes. Fuckin' capital A, only in Arizona. That's is so fucking insane, but I suppose rich invalids might need a boner sucked as well as his diapers changed every so often.
And oh, Guns and ammo are cheap and there's nothing to prevent anyone from owning and carrying one concealed without having to get a license. Normally I'd be cheering for that. But seeing as how many of these desert dwelling fucks walk around talking to themselves with no bluetooth earpiece in sight or anyone within earshot, the thought that one of the pistol-packing weirdos might pull one on me gives me the creeps and make me take pause to think about packing one myself knowing that one day I might have to put down one of these desert-fried, brain-dead AZ-tard zombies for being ridiculously stupid hazardous to my life.
:
At least Bamatards and Pantards were mostly harmless hot air bags(with humidity). Humidity here in AZ only comes with the monsoon rainstorms and is usually preceded by these big-ass dust storms they call "haboobs" (Pronounced as huh boobs?, originally from the native American word for: Dumbass white man gonna die in fucking desert cause he heard something about BOOBS, then he go look for them. Ugh.). I'd have been fine with just "boobs" but HABOOB'S carry a fucking damn virus that gets in your respiratory tract and stays in there the rest of your life that causes a condition called valley fever. Just so damn lovely to find out this shit so soon after moving here. Would have been way fuckin better to have known prior to packing up my shit to move to the hellhole right next door to Hell. It's just one zip code above Hell's, seriously, no joke.
Great welcome to fucking AZ I got.
So yeah Lainey, I MISS THE SOUTH. Ain't it grand? 
Now ARIZONA? It's JUST a PAIN IN THE AZ.
These AZ-tards are DEAD from the neck up on the AZ forum. No sense of humor, and write crappy reviews to boot. A fucking snoozefest. Guess the heat does them in. And that's just the hobbyists.
Half the fucking population can't drive worth a shit, the other half shouldn't be driving but insist on driving anyway. Just this past weekend I saw an old fart way past his driving days jump his minivan over a concrete curb guard and onto the curb before coming to a stop before hitting the front door of a store in Scottsdale. Good fucking grief. Fucking AZtard needs his license revoked and keys taken away before he kills someone other than himself. And that's just one of many incidents I've witnessed here.
A couple of months ago, I had a bird fly full speed directly into my truck grill and commit suicide (because of the heat?) kamikaze style. Fuck this "dry heat" bullshit. It drives even the animals insane when it's above 120 fuckin' degrees. And there have already been a couple of days where it hit over 120. When it gets that hot, even commercial planes are grounded because the air is too thin to allow for safe takeoffs and landings.
A lot of the providers are over-rated and overpriced. Bitchez long way past the sell by date and a lot of them still commanding top dollar because dumb old fucks with more money than sense don't recognize the difference between mature, long in the tooth, and just plain fucking geriatric. The heat must get to them also.
Just the other day I saw an ad where a whore says she'll do outcalls to nursing homes. Fuckin' capital A, only in Arizona. That's is so fucking insane, but I suppose rich invalids might need a boner sucked as well as his diapers changed every so often.And oh, Guns and ammo are cheap and there's nothing to prevent anyone from owning and carrying one concealed without having to get a license. Normally I'd be cheering for that. But seeing as how many of these desert dwelling fucks walk around talking to themselves with no bluetooth earpiece in sight or anyone within earshot, the thought that one of the pistol-packing weirdos might pull one on me gives me the creeps and make me take pause to think about packing one myself knowing that one day I might have to put down one of these desert-fried, brain-dead AZ-tard zombies for being ridiculously stupid hazardous to my life.
:At least Bamatards and Pantards were mostly harmless hot air bags(with humidity). Humidity here in AZ only comes with the monsoon rainstorms and is usually preceded by these big-ass dust storms they call "haboobs" (Pronounced as huh boobs?, originally from the native American word for: Dumbass white man gonna die in fucking desert cause he heard something about BOOBS, then he go look for them. Ugh.). I'd have been fine with just "boobs" but HABOOB'S carry a fucking damn virus that gets in your respiratory tract and stays in there the rest of your life that causes a condition called valley fever. Just so damn lovely to find out this shit so soon after moving here.
Would have been way fuckin better to have known prior to packing up my shit to move to the hellhole right next door to Hell. It's just one zip code above Hell's, seriously, no joke.Great welcome to fucking AZ I got.
So yeah Lainey, I MISS THE SOUTH. Ain't it grand? Now ARIZONA? It's JUST a PAIN IN THE AZ.
- Laney Lixx
- 08-03-2017, 09:06 AM
Fuck I MISS YOU HOTRIX!
YOU You ALWAYS make me laugh, no matter how badly i feel.
Love ya babe.
YOU You ALWAYS make me laugh, no matter how badly i feel.
Love ya babe.
- hotrix1
- 08-03-2017, 11:50 AM
Glad to know I can still make you laugh.
But I do hate AZ, that's no joke. My humorous rant above is actually true in every way about the things I hate about the state.
But I do hate AZ, that's no joke. My humorous rant above is actually true in every way about the things I hate about the state.