When picking a provider to use as a reference

First let me say I never mind giving a reference on a gentleman that I have seen...So let me
tell you what is prompting this thread...I received a text today from a provider wanting a
reference on a gentleman that I have seen over a year ago, yes you heard me over 1 yr ago....
now in the mean time I have read some of his current reviews on other ladies, so my question
is why wouldn't you use a more current provider? so that she will be able to remember you and
some details of your time together!!!!! this makes me crazy....it is very nice when a gentleman
will either email, text or call and let you know he is going to be using you as a reference so
that it will be fresh in your mind and if it has been awhile then he can jog your memory....
and at my age I need that sometimes....

My case may be atypical for the particular situation you describe here, but as I live some 6 hours away from DFW and my trips are not as frequent as I might like, my provider visits are farther spaced apart than many locals. Luckily several fine ladies have agreed to give me the nod both to other providers and more recently when I joined p411, (Thanks especially VivianKnights!), even though there may have been considerable time go by. As local references are problematic due to virtually no legitimate locals providers, that really has helped. Fortunately I am easily remembered due to my great height and being in the medical profession.

I've had the same experience. After the first few, I ask for two recent references. If their memory is anything like mine, if I've slept since then, it's a wash. I try to keep things simple though. While every experience is different, there are a couple of key things I ALWAYS mention. There are also a few things in my office that are pretty memorable. Paintings, lights, etc. If a client has seen me, mentioning any number of things will tell me that I have seen them. Problem clients are few and I list them on PB and make notes in the office for future reference.

I also appreciate it when a gentleman gives me notice that he would like a reference. I have found that most of them are genuinely surprised when I tell them that while i enjoy their company, they should feel comfortable seeing DeeDee or using me as a reference. I'm not trying to fob them off on someone else and I love having them. They often behave as if it's a novelty to put the client first.

Fawn,

I don't ask ANY specific providers to give me a good reference. If a provider will not accept my P411 or my history on this board or the bigger board, I will just move on. I can't remember the last time I was declined.
And, btw, it's not been any problem for the ladies to remember having seen me. :-)

CSI

Fawn, my first thought as to why someone would use you as a reference after that much time is because it is you. You are responsible and would return the reference request unlike many of your younger flaky counterparts.

Take it as a compliment that he thinks highly enough of you to still use you as a reference.

Fawn, my first thought as to why someone would use you as a reference after that much time is because it is you. You are responsible and would return the reference request unlike many of your younger flaky counterparts.

Take it as a compliment that he thinks highly enough of you to still use you as a reference. Originally Posted by cpi3000

Well cpi I was thinking alone the same lines, but I just wanted to see if someone else felt the same way......thanks honey ...fawn

Fawn, I use P411 and that is usually enough. When I used to send references I would send links to my last two reviews and I would cc the Ladies I was using for references. Some guys fear jealousy and won't use their ATFs. No one wants to be possessive of my tired old fat butt so it doesn't matter.

I think it is because you are well known and your outstanding reputation.

Alot of providers want "well known" provider references. Many hobbyist see a variety of girls, many of whom are not active on boards, UTR, or are not accepted as references even if the provider is on P411. An "ok" from you gives a lot of weight to the providers who are active on boards where you are well known.

well thank you for the compliment, but when a lady calls for a reference for guy I have seen say
6 months ago I can check and say yes I have seen him but I cant remember any details, and that
is what we are looking for when we call...not nitty gritty stuff, details that are important to us,
what does he like for you to wear, what does he drink, is there any problems we need to know
about what kind of session was he looking for, things that matter, I wont see just any guy, I like
to read some of his reviews and see what he is looking for in a session, and if I feel we are not
looking for the same things then I will chose not to see him ..But you're right when a guy has p411
and I scroll down and I see some very well known providers that I know, and they have similar
taste in the men we see it is a level of comfort.....just thought I would share why we really need
current references on a new gentleman .....that is how we can make a good
first impression and that is very important to me...thank you everyone for you input.....

Prior to P411 I had a couple providers that I would use for references, they were gracious enough to do that for me. I saw them both many times, and we had a friendship relationship also. Now I use P411.

(just my thoughts in general about screening)

Fawn, the fact is for some of us we cannot be safe enough. I have been told over and over not to put 100% faith in P411 (or any one source to be more specific); meaning it is still my responsibility to verify the accuracy. I got that advice directly from their board and I took it very seriously. While I could not appreciate that site more, I love it, I love it, and I don't make them responsible for my safety. They have provided an amazing tool for us but, in my opinion, it is the best place to start the screening it doesn't stop there.

So, among the list of other things I do, I usually contact one girl that has okay’s the hobbyist (specifically if he has less than 4) to confirm and get any other information that is available. This is protecting the interest of my clients as much as mine.

That being said, if I see you listed, you will probably be the gal I want to contact because of your reputation etc.... From everything I have seen you are an amazing person.

That being said, I would always give you his id so you can go check your Okays, his email, and other information. Not just part of the information. If I don't have enough information from the provider for the reference I just ask for the rest. Honestly, when I ask for a reference from a Provider I realize she is going out of her way to help me; and I should provide as much information as I can to make it easier for her.

I cannot understand for the life of me why anyone else would not do the same.

For all of us both hobbyist and providers this is the part of what we do that is a little uncomfortable for each of us. But, it should be considered one of the most important aspects of protecting our group for more reasons than one too.

As with everything else in the world a person can take anything too far, be too paranoid, etc. I am not promoting extreme behaviors, but, being thorough is not excessive. But, being lax in the process because nothing has gone wrong to date - to me is just irresponsible (like only sending partial information for a reference).

For me Fawn, if I see your name on the P411 (and it is within 6 months), I gravitate towards contacting you. Why? Well, you are well known with a stellar reputation and you are more mature, like me.

When I was in this biz many moons ago, I was in your position of receiving lots of requests for verification. Heck, it was not nearly as easy then as we had nothing like P411 and OMG, not even texting. LOL~But, I did then and do now always help another lady out with verifications.

Thanks for all your replies to my inquires and for being YOU !!

*smooches & big hugs girl*

I am really talking more about a gentleman using me as a reference when calling a provider not p411,
I have to agree with everyone here that screening and giving a provider a good reference on a client
is very important with as much detail as possible... but dang it is hard to remember a client and details
after a year ago, when he could use a more recent provider than me...........that is all that I am saying...
unless you see them on a regular basis....And the thing I like most about p411 it gives you a place to go
in and write details about that client.....very cool, and it would be even better if you saw me on there and click
on my ok and could read what details I have written....