LOL

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Joke #1
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West
African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the
Black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and
On the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the
Penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower,
His wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the African
String-and-weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they tied a string
And a weight to his penis.

A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little
Tribal experiment coming along?"

"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.

"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"

"No, it's turned black."

Joke #2

Drinking with an Arizona Girl
A Mexican, an Arab, and an Arizona girl were in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says,"In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice."
The Arab, obviously impressed by this,
drinks non-alcohol beer ('cuz he's a Muslim), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either."
The Arizona girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.
Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says,
'In Arizona, we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink
with the same ones twice!"

God Bless Arizona !