Under handed or shady providers. How do you handle them?

Kayleehotchick's Avatar
Guy's, if you found out that one of your provider ref's was lying to other providers about you, would you want to know?

If so, what way would you consider the least dramatic way for the provider checking your ref's to let you know?

I now fully understand the value of checking ref's via in writing vs calling.
modus's Avatar
  • modus
  • 06-11-2014, 11:13 AM
Depends are they lying in my favor or not. Kidding. I personally would like to know, but would want to find out in a non drama way.
FunInDFW's Avatar
I'd certainly want to know so I could address the issue she has with me as well as not use her as a future reference or provider. She's violated trust, and I have no interest in a provider that would do that.

As far as how to tell me... I would prefer to have this known before our session, via my contact method we're already using, so that I could get you another reference and make sure there are no discrepancies or uncertainties between us. The last thing I want is for you not to be comfortable with me for any reason. It will make for a less enjoyable time, and neither of us want that. Just be honest, succinnct, and don't beat around the bush. Tell me what you know for certain and what you think, and distinguish between the two. None of us want drama, so it's best to deal in facts when possible.

Depending on the lie or misinformation, there could be some fallout for both of us. And personally, I'd value your integrity to the point of making all efforts to keep the person telling me this as free from it as possible; but it benefits us all when someone is found out to not be in the up and up.
Kaylee - I'm confused.. A provider is telling other providers lies about you?
If so, take it to the ladies lounge and just call her out. Just remember, you never know who is really lying. The gossip game of telephone doesn't have happy endings. You can't change people, you can just choose to ignore and not associate with them.

Whenever we have too much idle time bad things happen. Since what we choose to do as a career gives us a lot of idle time, well.. People gossip. Boredom creates gossip. The fact that we all are a smaller circle with the internet courage doesn't help either.

I wouldn't feed in to it. I would just go to the ladies lounge.

If I'm not understanding what you're saying, then sorry.. Can you please explain it again?
Jessica Jade's Avatar
I think she is saying a provider is lying about a client.
corona's Avatar
Lying is pretty shitty.
thechocolatebanana's Avatar
Seems she's directing this to the fellas. If it was me, trusting that provider enough to use her as a reference in the first place and she is in fact lying, I would certainly want to know. For me, PM or email would be best.

This thread is the second of the day that makes me wonder just how much crap is being tossed out behind the scenes here on you ladies.
I think she is saying a provider is lying about a client. Originally Posted by Jessica Jade
Ah, gotcha. Now that I reread it that makes more sense...
I don't know that I would get involved.. Just like every review is unique, so is every date. I mean.. It's really just a he said she said world and we have to pick and choose what we listen to.
Maybe they crossed the boundaries in their previous relationship so there some bitterness going on. If that's the case, I would stay far away. Nothing good ever comes from getting in the middle of things even when it's done with good intentions. I learned this growing up with four other kids in the house.
Xx
Kayleehotchick's Avatar
I agree Alyssa, that is always a slippery slope.


I HATE HATE HATE drama but at the same time, I hate when someone isn't being honest either.
L.A.'s Avatar
  • L.A.
  • 06-11-2014, 12:12 PM
If so, take it to the ladies lounge and just call her out. Originally Posted by Alyssa Marie
Call her out in co-ed....I'm pretty bored.
FunInDFW's Avatar
Sorry for the confusion, I mean telling lies about the client. Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick
Nice edit . For that particular case, it might not be imperative to tell the client what she said about him. A white lie on your part could save any trouble. Just ask for a different reference if possible with the excuse she can't be reached, or something similar.

Seems like you're already in this though too far to turn back now.
Kayleehotchick's Avatar
Nice edit . For that particular case, it might not be imperative to tell the client what she said about him. A white lie on your part could save any trouble. Just ask for a different reference if possible with the excuse she can't be reached, or something similar.

Seems like you're already in this though too far to turn back now. Originally Posted by FunInDFW

Good advice and no...I'm not. That is an unfair assumption on your part. It's simply a chance to gain feed back on situations that happens from time to time. No need to try throw fuel on something.

And for the record, the client and I BOTH found out quite by accident.

Gaining advice and different perspectives is always of value.

Speculation on the other hand...not so much.
Nice edit . For that particular case, it might not be imperative to tell the client what she said about him. A white lie on your part could save any trouble. Just ask for a different reference if possible with the excuse she can't be reached, or something similar.

Seems like you're already in this though too far to turn back now. Originally Posted by FunInDFW
That's interesting, you sent me a message after I quoted something you wrote (without your name, mind you) claiming that I didn't give the full quote and it was taken out of context, yet you're going to call someone out for editing something that really has no value to the post as she clarified something that was already figured out?

Kaylee - the whole he said she she sucks and when you get involved, no matter how much you don't want to, you become part of the she said...

To the bored guy looking for drama - it's 1:22 in the afternoon. Isn't some Judge Judy or Maury on?
FunInDFW's Avatar
Fair enough, and I'll leave it at that as going into more for a reply to that would require bringing up what you edited out.

AM - why are you discussion a PM in a public thread? If you have something to say about my PM, PM me. I wasn't calling her out for editing anything. The details lead to my last comment which was based on speculation add to how it came about. Which, she stated, was unnecessary and incorrect. Which is a fair reply. That's is very specific PM information.
L.A.'s Avatar
  • L.A.
  • 06-11-2014, 12:26 PM

To the bored guy looking for drama - it's 1:22 in the afternoon. Isn't some Judge Judy or Maury on? Originally Posted by Alyssa Marie
Hooker board drama is more fun.