It's supposed to be a HOBBY not a job interview!

References, I get them. They are for the safety of the entire community, Providers AND Hobbyists. I have no problem providing references if a lady asks to see them but is there a limit? The unofficial standard seems to be two recent and verified (ie no CL or BP) references. Occasionally I'll notice a provider who seems to want three or MORE references! What is even more frustrating is when they start asking for more personally identifying information. I have no problems giving my ECCIE handle, a simple name, and obviously the phone number I will be contacting from. But some providers are asking for a thorough physical description (which to me says NBA), a FULL name, job information, and occasionally age (as if I couldn't just make up a number?) I have so far refused to see any provider who takes the appointment process this far. It's not so much that I'm concerned about giving away too much information, I just don't like turning this into a process more complicated than getting a car loan! There a far too many ladies out there I can see with a few short e-mails or a simple phone call.

I ask for three references if you're not P411. I do this because Gina over at P411 has your info so I feel safer and count her as a reference (and then require two references plus your P411 account.)

The thing about requiring three or more references is that a lot of references don't get back to us, or they take forever. Asking for multiple references means that you have a better shot of hearing from 2 or 3 in a day or two (sometimes less, sometimes more.)

I just finished with Phoenix and it was pretty reference-user unfriendly. The women who did respond were great. But there were just a lot of women who didn't respond, or who responded but were weird and didn't want to give a reference. I do not want to start collecting more conventional information (work info, ID stuff) because it's intrusive, but it's also more work than I want to do.

BUT, if your references aren't reference-friendly-- we're both stuck. That's why multiple providers, having an organized list to send out with dates and little pieces of trivia about your time with the woman so they remember you and can give you a good reference, is so useful.

But then again, you could also get P411.

If there are "far too many ladies" you can see with a few short emails and a simple phone call, then I don't get the vent. If you have a plethora of ladies you WANT to see who are so easy to see, then the other women who screen more thoroughly are kind of a moot point, don't you think? And if there's women you really want to see, then the best thing to do is make sure your references ARE going to give references when asked (asking them "can I use you as a reference?" is a first step) and then your 3+ references should speak for you.

I kind of half agree with your post and disagree with the other half. Luckily, you have a bunch of reviews so women should be able to go through your review list and use that similarly to a P411 okay list.

I totally agree with you, Foxtrot. Some girls can get totally over the top.

I had a girl once ask me all sorts of personal questions over the phone before I was to schedule a session with her.

After about the fifth personal question, I told her that I was only wanting a one hour session with her and I was not trying to get security clearance for the C.I.A.

Well, the bitc.., I mean the lady, got offended and by that time I was so turned off by her brusque manner that I lost all interest myself.

. . . Don't these women know that the world is fully of nooky?

Yes some of the ladies are more paranoid then other about references. I don't blame them. If both parties don't feel comfotable, might be best to move on.

I don't feel comfortable with references but understand the need for it with the ladies.

He'll there have been a few ladies I built up references for just to meet there requirment. Yes it was worth it!!

If you were a newbie with no references, I would ask for employment information but, on occasion I have requested additional information; your reference doesn't get back to me or she does & it raises a few flags. There are many ladies who will ask nothing & some who will ask for your first born, its up to you to decide what information you are willing to share.

Every lady is free to ask for whatever she wants to ask for.

I am then free to accept that request or not.

Have I had to then pass on a couple ladies I would like to have met? Sure. But there were always pleanty of other quality ladies who asked for things I felt comfortable giving out.

You can always just say "no" and move on.

Please don't ASSUME that because your asked to provide a complete physical description of yourself & your age, it's because of racial profiling.
You'd be incorrect more times than not.

I personally require a complete physical description and age of all my dates. For SAFETY reasons. So the references can confirm that the man contacting, down to the description he provided. IS the man they saw and the man whom I'll be opening my door to.

If one has an issue with providing his description. Then he has something to hide. It's simple as that. Don't lay the blame of racial profiling on the ladies. That's messed up.
What you deem too complicated. The ladies deem necessary for SAFETY reasons.


Now providing job info & full name. That's how some gals screen. Not I.

References, I get them. They are for the safety of the entire community, Providers AND Hobbyists. I have no problem providing references if a lady asks to see them but is there a limit? The unofficial standard seems to be two recent and verified (ie no CL or BP) references. Occasionally I'll notice a provider who seems to want three or MORE references! What is even more frustrating is when they start asking for more personally identifying information. I have no problems giving my ECCIE handle, a simple name, and obviously the phone number I will be contacting from. But some providers are asking for a thorough physical description (which to me says NBA), a FULL name, job information, and occasionally age (as if I couldn't just make up a number?) I have so far refused to see any provider who takes the appointment process this far. It's not so much that I'm concerned about giving away too much information, I just don't like turning this into a process more complicated than getting a car loan! There a far too many ladies out there I can see with a few short e-mails or a simple phone call. Originally Posted by Charlie Foxtrot

Please don't ASSUME that because your asked to provide a complete physical description of yourself & your age, it's because of racial profiling.
You'd be incorrect more times than not.

I personally require a complete physical description and age of all my dates. For SAFETY reasons. So the references can confirm that the man contacting, down to the description he provided. IS the man they saw and the man whom I'll be opening my door to.

If one has an issue with providing his description. Then he has something to hide. It's simple as that. Don't lay the blame of racial profiling on the ladies. That's messed up.
What you deem too complicated. The ladies deem necessary for SAFETY reasons.


Now providing job info & full name. That's how some gals screen. Not I. Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

I haven't had any problems with screening. I am sick of this politically correct bullshit. We have to strip search grandmothers in Depends at the airport because we can't possibly racially profile the terrorists for fear of hurting their feelings. If your culture is such that it is suspect then change your culture to be acceptable. Don't expect me to lower my standards so you can play this mind game, it doesn't work on me. Pimps are always looking for new girls, and a girl who is not aware of this is insane. For christ sake it is not skin color, it is a worthless culture that honors the bottom feeders. In white culture Skinheads are looked down on, whereas Ganstas are worshipped. Can't anybody else see that the culture is the worst possible thing. Change the Fucking culture!!!!!!!!!!!!

Each party is free to contract for services, and free to walk away if said contract is not to their liking. Contracts can be oral or written, including email, PMs, etc.

(Granted, as this is an illegal transaction in most parts, said contract will not be enforced by most courts in the US.)

The one problem with communication is that it is irrevocable, and that is made so very true by the lingering impression the web leaves on people. Written references of any kind in the form of emails I believe can be a detriment to both the provider and the gentleman involved. I have always viewed it as my job, to remember you while your are in the room and everything about you, and to rely on my failing memory in the outside world, thus keeping both of us safe. Through out history there have been numerous scandals involving politicians, law makers, and celebrities. Somehow I don't think this is going to change. So, providers.... unless you are sure your clients aren't comprised of the later, I would suggest that you think carefully about written verification as it could come back to haunt you...and thus, a one person man hunt could lead to an all out debacle if anyone ever were able to access your email, thus verifying all the clients you have claimed to have seen (and no deleting the correspondence doesn't make it disappear)....

Therefore, although clients need to be verified for safety reasons, as do the providers, it is crazy...sheer madness what goes on today. And ladies....those of you who have been in the business awhile, I'm sure you've seen a once great client change as his life circumstances do...and yet, there is still that provider who unknowing has been giving the guy a reference for the last 5 years...(the mortgage crisis and the bank debacle of recent years being one of the later stressors).

So, I still stand by my beliefs...I will figure out with my own methods if you are okay and who you are, after that, I don't seem to recall anything, and since there is no place that you will find that I say I know your or have seen you in writing there is an added level of safety. I never speak on the phone, my assistant does, so that too adds anonymity....For those of you who today don't care if people ever found out that you see providers...right on, I so applaud you....but since it is my job to protect you, as very few of us knows what our future holds......I will stick with my story...."who are you again?".

The thing about requiring three or more references is that a lot of references don't get back to us, or they take forever. Asking for multiple references means that you have a better shot of hearing from 2 or 3 in a day or two (sometimes less, sometimes more.) Originally Posted by SugarBeth

I personally require a complete physical description and age of all my dates. For SAFETY reasons. So the references can confirm that the man contacting, down to the description he provided. IS the man they saw and the man whom I'll be opening my door to.

What you deem too complicated. The ladies deem necessary for SAFETY reasons.
Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

Every lady has her own comfort level with regard to her screening process. You should actually be glad that some of these ladies take the necessary steps/process to screen thoroughly because the ones who do not, eventually get into trouble at some point with LE or a bad client. These things (LE/ bad client /stalker etc) could inadvertently lead to problems for future or existing clients.

This really is simple. She's free to screen however she desires. You're free to give the info or not.

Bottom line. As much as this is a "business" its still private time spent with a stranger. A lady will take as much info as she see fit to feel comfortable letting you into her home or hotel room alone.

You have the choice to give the info or not. Too much for you then move on to the next. As you all say there are plenty of fish in the sea.