I might get shit for this one...

I have been married for 10 years now and over the past few I have gone to a handful of MP's. I have even hooked up a couple of times on Craigslist all with the same results. For some reason I cannot get hard but will cum in a matter of minutes. With my wife, I get hard just by foreplay and then last about 20 minutes. Am I alone here? I am thinking it is nerves but enjoy doing it. I am not turned on enough to get hard, but I can cum when I am limp??

My guess.....performance anxiety.....pretty common.....especially when with someone new.

More then likely it is nerves. have you tried seeing the same provider more then once? If you get familar with them it may help. I know when i started in this hobby I had the same problems. But now I only see a couple diffrent providers and that helps. I like the familarity of seeing the same select few (you know who you are)
Nerves come into play because your not sure what on the otherside of that door until it is opened, could be good could be bad and blood is poring to your heart from nerves instead of where you want it too be!!!

Are you using condoms? I hope so, even if it may be the culprit. One of the biggest concerns I've seen with men who have been married many years is the condom issue. They didn't need to use it with their wife, but when they visit a provider or anyone else, they use it and it creates some issues with performance. I'm not telling you to stop using condoms!! But you may want to switch to the thin condoms. Just something to think about.

Trust me, you are not alage. I get informed of this in PMs prior to dates rather frequently, it has nothing to do with age either. I have a few regulars that are just now able to stand at full attention and last longer. Honestly, I think it hasa lot to do with nerves, performance anxiety, comfort, and subconscious guilt. I know a glass of wine/ mixed drink/shot/ beer or 2 helps a lot of Gents relax.
I have a 25 yo regular that always books 2 hours and brings pretzels with a little vile of Scotch that is about 2 shots. He spends the first hour talking, joking, flirting, snacking, and sipping his drink. Then the second hour is intimate. If he doesn't have that first hour he can't calm down enough to stay at attention or sit still even though we have seen each other about 20 times in the past 2 years.

I suspect porn/sex addiction for this problem, or at least over exposure to porn. I also suspect it would improve if I eliminated artificial stimuli for a period of a few days or a week. I struggle to do that though.

I have opposite problem, I am good with providers... But don't last long enough with the ol, lady... Sometimes( but I think that is just because I always get the feeling she just wants it over anyway)...

Regardless if your SO is not into it, bareback just feels better. And only ride bare with your SO.

Regardless if your SO is not into it, bareback just feels better. And only ride bare with your SO. Originally Posted by pyramider

Wise logic my friend wise logic!! Damn been a long time since i barebacked Ouch wonder what that feels like again!! Damn gotta get me a regular GF!!

My only condomless sex was with my ex. I was keeping condom companies in business for several hundred years.

Agree with it being condom shyness. That is why bbbj is such a big deal for so many of us.

Are you using condoms? I hope so, even if it may be the culprit. One of the biggest concerns I've seen with men who have been married many years is the condom issue. They didn't need to use it with their wife, but when they visit a provider or anyone else, they use it and it creates some issues with performance. I'm not telling you to stop using condoms!! But you may want to switch to the thin condoms. Just something to think about. Originally Posted by Tatiana M.

I agree. I've always had a tough time getting off with condoms, even the thin ones. But I won't stop using them due to the risks. That's probably why I prefer providers who are ok with BBBJ's. Condoms are necessary but so have drawbacks.

most men have issues with condoms...if you find a great provider and you have established the connection in more ways than one...the nerves and issues with condoms should go away....
basically.. shut your mind off..your in a room with a naked chic..your there..your numbers have been called and you've won the lotto

Amen to that. I have an issue with breathing. I often forget breathing when receiving oral. Some of the ladies steal my breath away ... thru my little pecker.

good thred good luck