ASK THE FUCKING PROPHET! (Free Beta Version)

I think this is a brilliant idea. So maybe we can run a test pilot of such a forum. Ask Dearhunter a question and let's see what sage advice he will reward you with.

Who is going first? Come on, it is free and he won't bite. Well, maybe he might nibble a bit, but I promise he has had all his shots. Ask away!
What??? lol I am sooo fringgin' lost here....
But I love your avatar!
texasjohn1965's Avatar
Dear DearHunter,

What's the best way to get blood stains out of sheets, bed, carpet, walls, and ceiling?

Thanks
burkalini's Avatar
Dear DearHunter,

What's the best way to get blood stains out of sheets, bed, carpet, walls, and ceiling?

Thanks Originally Posted by texasjohn1965

That's a little scary
dearhunter's Avatar
Dear DearHunter,

What's the best way to get blood stains out of sheets, bed, carpet, walls, and ceiling?

Thanks Originally Posted by texasjohn1965
Considering the source of the question, I can understand the need for a complex answer.......so here goes.

Go to your nearest Super Walmart and purchase these items:

1 bag of marshmellows
1 box of graham crackers
1 box of Hersheys regular size candy bars
2 metal coat hangers
1 can of lighter fluid
1 box of matches
4 folding chairs
1 cardboard table
1 deck of playing cards
1 cooler
1 bag of ice
1 case of your favorite beer
1 pack of clorox wipes

Put the beer on ice in the cooler (place the candy bars on ice as well...duuuhhh)

Invite 3 of your friends to sing acapella your college and high school fight songs as you douse mentioned problem area with the lighter fluid.....light her up with the match.......then sing, baby sing.

In the dying embers set up a fireside game of Texas Hold'em......unhook one of the coathangers and roast marshmellows and make smores.

Play a little poker......through all the evidence in the embers....watch her burn again as you wipe the sticky marshmellows and chocolate off of your fingers with the clorox wipes.

Never mention the matter again.
dearhunter, I like your answer! But perhaps it would be best to use babywipes, or wet ones for your sticky fingers?
dearhunter's Avatar
dearhunter, I like your answer! But perhaps it would be best to use babywipes, or wet ones for your sticky fingers? Originally Posted by Tiffany Cums
I know you do, sweetie......that is because you are not the Fucking prophet.......clorox is better when your hands get tested later for old blood stains.
texasjohn1965's Avatar
Dear DearHunter,

I forgot to ask..... what about the body?
London Rayne's Avatar
Nice!

Ok my turn....

What is the best way to get back at an ex who wronged you other than screwing his brother and mailing him the video
Lol
dearhunter's Avatar
Nice!

Ok my turn....

What is the best way to get back at an ex who wronged you other than screwing his brother and mailing him the video Originally Posted by London Rayne
Why do you send me such a softball..........send it to his mother.......duhhhh
dearhunter's Avatar
Dear DearHunter,

I forgot to ask..... what about the body? Originally Posted by texasjohn1965
I am sorry.....you do not get two bites at the same apple.....next.
London Rayne's Avatar
Come on...you can do better than that!!

I want just as much insight as the other guy got!
dearhunter's Avatar
Come on...you can do better than that!!

I want just as much insight as the other guy got! Originally Posted by London Rayne
Complex problem....complex answer

Simple problem......simple answer
London Rayne's Avatar