Dirty Thoughts

As Hobbyist/Providers we tend to have dirty thoughts about things being said in public or just looking at someone. How many of you have actually thought of something sexually when someone asked you something that was a innocent question? Of course all of us check-out the guys/ladies and wonder what their like in BCD.

Here's a few of innocent question's from waitresses that makes me think of something sexual eventhough I don't say it out loud.

Waitress: Is There Anything Else I Can Get You?
Thought: Are You Offerring Takeout?

Waitress: Would You Like Some Cream In Your Coffee?
Thought: Is it homemade cream?

Waitress: Would You Like Whipped Cream On Your Pie?
Thought: Need any help whipping up your cream?

Waitress: Would You Like Mayo On Your Sandwich?
Thought: Is the Mayo sweet or bitter tasting?

I am very immature I just like to add that's what she said after everything.


"Pull it slowly, don't wanna make a mess"
"That's what she said."

"I think we can fit that in with the rest of them."
"That's what she said."

"Make sure it's long enough."
"That's what she said!"

"It hurts a little but it's not too bad."
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!"

"Sky, we're concerned about your drinking."
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.... Oh."

It's A Inch Too Low!
That's What She Says!

Doctor: Are you ready?
Me: Mmm hmm
Doctor: Okay, now I just need to lubricate my scope...

Her: did you bring the tweezers also?

Almost ever chick I see I profile her sex style and type. What she likes. does she really get into it, is she quiet.

Hubby: I'm on the phone give me a minute to get off!
Wife Thinking: It only takes you 8 seconds to get off!

Her: did you bring the tweezers also? Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Haha I know where yougot that remark from

I don't hold back when I'm served with a loaded question. They ask, I respond with a sexual twist all the time. Life's too short, I enjoy having a chuckle whenever I can.

Did run into something the other day at a Surplus Store the other day that was very interesting and funny as hell.

I was walking through this store and was in the automotive section picking some things up. When I noticed on a big pallet by the motor oil was Gun Oil. So my dirty mind got to thinking was this a joke or did they not know what it was. Needless to say I picked up 4 or 5 bottles of it for gag jokes for my friends. So I'm checking out and this young 20's girl checks me out. She says I'm about the only person that has bought the Gun Oil. Doesn't know why it hasn't sold better because she's thinking of getting some for her husband. Of course dirty minded me says, He would love to have some! Then I asked her, do you know what its for and she says to oil your guns. I give her the package and ask her to read the back of it. She reads it, turns Beat Red, and gives it back to me. I smile, nod, and say See why your husband would love to have some! .I leave and come back a few weeks later and they moved it over by the feminine products.

Menu Item (this is not made up)

"Greek Fetish"

The possibilities were just too endless. Fill in your own one liner!

turns Beet Red, and gives it back to me. I smile, nod, and say See why your husband would love to have some! .I leave and come back a few weeks later and they moved it over by the feminine products. Originally Posted by shorty

There, fixed that for ya.

This thread reminds me of a joke I heard

Teacher: “Why did you bring your cat to school today?” Kid: “My dad said to my mom he's goin to eat that pussy when the kids leave"

That poor kids mind isn't in the gutter yet.