i preface this discussion by conceding that i have been curious about "exchanging" for several years. i am in my late 30's and this year i finally crossed that threshold. two times only but its two more than this time last year.i am a reflection of a mother that is european and white, as well as an american father that is black. i was born in europe and spent half of my childhood there. the other half in the states. with the exception of the past 5 years, i have lived outside the u.s. i realize living in america pushes everyone to label and compartmentalize everything. i didnt learn the word 'biracial' until my 20's. my skin is tan and by default, because i currently live in texas, the easiest box for others to put me in is the 'black' box. i suppose i am black when in the u.s. (the irony here is that many people accuse others[of all races] as 'playing the race card'. in my case, someone has picked up my card and played it for me!)
so the first woman i decide to contact stated on her page " No A/A or African American men". i didnt even think about it at the time and after a couple of conversations on the phone she asked me to text or email some pics of me and i said of course and i sent her a few and after looking at them she called me and was pissed that i lied and that i couldnt read the fine print on her page.she actually thought i was duping her.anyway i say to her i am not african american, and even if i was, i wouldnt use that term because it is WAY too vague. for example, take a white couple from south africa that decides to marry and have kids in the u.s. their kids will be african american and they will be white. see what i mean? its too inclusive. that aside, i wasnt trying to be a smart-alec or argumentative or difficult, what i was doing was telling her that i wasnt knowingly misleading her.all my friends describe me as biracial when they are decribing my background to others. i suppose its like obama, who has been bestowed as america's first black president. its like acknowledging both races in his families history would be too confusing....
ANYWAY, the whole point of me starting thread is to ask a question that has been the elephant in the room everytime i surf sites like this one.
so, is there something i am missing here as to why there seems to be a constant preference of no "A/A" or 'blacks'. and of course i have no problem with a woman OR a man preferring or not preferring whatever they choose. THAT part i get, i just want to know why a (not large) steady amount of women that do post dealbreakers, 90 percent is always directed towards black men. so please when you reply, understand i am asking with genuine curiosity because its obviously a reason that i am unaware of because i am newish. whats funny is when i first noticed it i didnt think racial at all but more stereotyping because i assumed that these women were afraid of the large packages.it cant be that because the sample size is too big. thanks for reading the whole thing and i look forward to the knowledge that is about to be dropped by you all. peace