Funniest Hobby Story

What's the funniest experience you've had in the hobby?
When will you be seeing someone? Which provider will be your first?
When will you be seeing someone? Which provider will be your first? Originally Posted by Seeking ~P
That's not really your business, but since you asked, it will not be you.

You are an awful, smug, and downright mean person whose opinions are brash, misplaced, and often uncalled for.

Good morning.

I think I can now say I'm winning.
gimme_that's Avatar
A provider jacked me off in a movie theather on the end stages of a dinner date and I nurted in someone's popcorn on accident as a result of a popfly. We watched them take a bite as we were leaving. Dude probably thought it was butter.........

Movie was fast and the furious seven....no lie.
gimme_that's Avatar
That's not really your business, but since you asked, it will not be you.

You are an awful, smug, and downright mean person whose opinions are brash, misplaced, and often uncalled for.

Good morning.

I think I can now say I'm winning. Originally Posted by captjackno
Don't you think it might prove interesting to fuck someone you kinda don't like. Posting board politics will never get in the way when I'm horny and need an option. You gotta fuck a provider you don't like just once......its kinda cool like yall competing and talking shit at the same time.

Her:
"I bet you wont last long when I ride on top"

Me:
"I bet I will since I jacked off before this."

Her:

"It aint even hard yet, its non responsive.

Me: well bend over and give it mouth resuscitation CPR....cock party restore.

her: pass me the KY jelly on the dresser in the drawer next to the bible.....

me: dab it on there yourself.....you the one who need it. I dont be liking condiments and ketchup on my veggie steak usually......but ima roll with it this time.........

etc......
Don't you think it might prove interesting to fuck someone you kinda don't like. Posting board politics will never get in the way when I'm horny and need an option. You gotta fuck a provider you don't like just once......its kinda cool like yall competing and talking shit at the same time.

Her:
"I bet you wont last long when I ride on top"

Me:
"I bet I will since I jacked off before this."

Her:

"It aint even hard yet, its non responsive.

Me: well bend over and give it mouth resuscitation CPR....cock party restore.

her: pass me the KY jelly on the dresser in the drawer next to the bible.....

me: dab it on there yourself.....you the one who need it. I dont be liking condiments and ketchup on my veggie steak usually......but ima roll with it this time.........

etc...... Originally Posted by gimme_that
I respect anyone's idea of fun, but that's not my thing.

I could see how that could be fun for some. Who knows? Maybe one day...
A provider jacked me off in a movie theather on the end stages of a dinner date and I nurted in someone's popcorn on accident as a result of a popfly. We watched them take a bite as we were leaving. Dude probably thought it was butter.........

Movie was fast and the furious seven....no lie. Originally Posted by gimme_that
That's freaking hilarious lol.
annie@christophers's Avatar
I'm never fucking u gimme. Nice try!!! Lmaof.. xxoo annie
annie@christophers's Avatar
Told this a long time ago. A very infamous rock musician got myself and he totally fucked up...well he more so cause he passed out ( Literally) while doing daty. I managed to push him away.. fall on the floor ..gather ..put on clothes and crawl to the car. Sigh...should a picked mick. True Story. Xxoo annie
hotrix1's Avatar
from alcohol or was it the lack of oxygen when you squeezed his neck too hard with your thighs? Or could it have been the fumes emanating from below? Or even worse, all of the above?

And why is P trying to jack this thread?

Fucking hilarious gimme_that, fast and furious alright. Pop and run. Better butter his (pop)corn than buttering his cornhole.
annie@christophers's Avatar
For the last time dammit. I'm allergic to soap! Besides I know why he passed out but TEXAS would pitch a fit if I said... Lil to much ... I thought he was dead. That's why I scramed. Alive (unbelievably) and playing like a 40 year old he was at the time. Still....REALLY wish I'd gone with the other...lol. Heard he was awesome.... oh well . Youth is wasted on the young. Xxoo annie
gimme_that's Avatar
I'm never fucking u gimme. Nice try!!! Lmaof.. xxoo annie Originally Posted by annie@christophers
Comes on we all know money mends fences here.

A lot of times the chicks that's saw me scoped me out from a thread or wondering why a certain lady or two didnt like me. Most times we agreed why. I don't take stuff on board too seriously as others do. Cause at the end of the day no one is less than a gentleman and we all seek fun.
For the last time dammit. I'm allergic to soap! Xxoo annie Originally Posted by annie@christophers
Lol
hotrix1's Avatar
With a former ATF of mine. Banging her hard n fast and she queefs loud. She was tight enough where I felt air go past my dick and told her. We both laugh so hard, she lets a fart out and gets so embarrassed she actually allows me to go Greek on her for the first time that night.
With a former ATF of mine. Banging her hard n fast and she queefs loud. She was tight enough where I felt air go past my dick and told her. We both laugh so hard, she lets a fart out and gets so embarrassed she actually allows me to go Greek on her for the first time that night. Originally Posted by hotrix1
Lol....that's funny and fortunate. Thanks for sharing hotrix