Regular Provider

I had a lunch date today with my ATF off the clock. In an uncanny way this always feels awkward to me. Should I hug, kiss, hold hands or should it be like having lunch with a business acquaintance? My ATF had no problems with any of the above and even initiated them but it still felt awkward to me. Any thoughts? Take a minute to talk amongst yourselves.LOL.

Well, if you're not married I don't see the problem.

Well, if you're not married I don't see the problem. Originally Posted by thecooldude

Hmmmm problem.That's not the response I was expecting but thanks. You are a cool dude.

I had a lunch date today with my ATF off the clock. In an uncanny way this always feels awkward to me. Should I hug, kiss, hold hands or should it be like having lunch with a business acquaintance? My ATF had no problems with any of the above and even initiated them but it still felt awkward to me. Any thoughts? Take a minute to talk amongst yourselves.LOL. Originally Posted by Lucky LaRue

Would you have been more comfortable with the PDA if you paid for her time?

~sweetness~

How you handle it is up to you, but when I did an OTC lunch with my ATF, I treated her as if she was my date/girl friend. Now this was in a different town than where I live so the chances of a problem were lower.

I really enjoy going out OTC, usually before a session. Have been to dinner, gambling halls, shopping, casinos, bars, etc. i am all about PDA, love it! Doesn't feel awkward at all to me, and it sets the stage for a really explosive session later. I'm not married or otherwise attached, so maybe that's the difference between being comfortable with it versus uncomfortable.

Personally, if it's someone I've seen before then affections is always on the table. If it's your ATF I would think it should feel natural. Maybe your worried the line between business and emotions were blurring too much? Since it was OTC, it could have resembled a civilian date too much for you.

I really enjoy going out OTC, usually before a session. Have been to dinner, gambling halls, shopping, casinos, bars, etc. i am all about PDA, love it! Doesn't feel awkward at all to me, and it sets the stage for a really explosive session later. Originally Posted by RideFreeInTexas

I completely agree. Some time together before a session is always good to get the engines going!

I've also done a few OTC lunch/dinner/drinks,longer phones calls as further screening. Sure money spends but enjoyment is very, very high on my scale of importance. If I know I wouldn't feel natural or comfortable with the person then I just stop responding to communication.

As far as I can tell this attitude is not the norm. But I do this for my selfish needs. If i know I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself...several times....then what's the point?

[QUOTEPersonally, if it's someone I've seen before then affections is always on the table. If it's your ATF I would think it should feel natural. Maybe your worried the line between business and emotions were blurring too much? Since it was OTC, it could have resembled a civilian date too much for you.
That probably is the best explanation I have heard thus far. Thanks SA. I do not think the lines have been blurred but I will just calm down and let things flow as they should.Thank you for your insight.

Would you have been more comfortable with the PDA if you paid for her time?

~sweetness~ Originally Posted by Caitie Mae

No Catie I do not think that is the reason at all.

SAAngel nailed it.

I get the relationship status concerns. I wouldn't go for the kiss or hand holding in public, but a nice non-descript hug would be appropriate. Seeing a male/female hug in public is so widely accepted, I think nobody would give it a second thought (unless your wife/SO was right there with you). Even if she is there and sees it, you can always explain it away with the lady friend being a work colleague or relative of a close friend, etc.

I tend to let them initiate their comfort zone and take into account discretion if it is needed. Overall I enjoy the companionship both outside the closed curtain and within so I find no discomfort in the lighter intimacies such as holding hands or kissing in public. I do however keep it PG or at worst PG13.

On several occasion with past ATF's I have spent OCT on small outings such as dinner, movies, casino time or simply a cup of coffee.

Though I would say ALWAYS trust your comfort levels and work from there. Never feel like you must do something.

just be yourself, obviously she digs you enough to see you

I treat dinner and lunch dates with providers same as I would a civilian first date. Just because a providers agrees to a dinner date doesn't mean necessarily that she wants or will adhere to your request for open displays of affection and hand holding. I think if a guy is expecting this he should specify beforehand. Thats definitely toeing a slippery slope between companionship and being discreet. Especially if that area is a ladys home turf. I think doing so is a tad presumptuous of me as a client if not asked prior, but if she initiates it kudos to her. Its a plus.

Hug and kiss on the cheek is plenty. If. I'm locking lips with a lad in public best believe she won't be showing her face in her ads.

What works is what works. Different for every client / ATF relationship. That said, I do enjoy the few times I've been out with my ATF, and each time it's been OTC.