Lord,
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart, and strong,
One whose willy's thick and long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
When promises to call, he won't wait weeks;
I pray he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash he won't be anoyed,
Pulls out my chair and opens the door,
Massagges my back and begs to do more,
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows just what to say when I ask, "How big's my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchen,
In the hall, the bedroom, the garden, the kitchen.
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And never attempt to shag my best friend,
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the wanker you sent me instead.