Every day we devote ourselves to pleasing others, doing whatever they want to do... putting our own sexual and emotional needs on a back burner to ensure our clients needs are met. We do things we may not be really into for people we'd probably never fuck if we didn't need the money. Over and over we get sexually teased, sometimes even close to an orgasm and get shut down right when it's feeling good because we couldn't come fast enough when the pressure to come on demand is what makes it so difficult to actually happen. We convincingly fake it while getting pounded from odd angles that bruise our walls , kidneys and bladder... we hop right up with a smile on our face to serve a warm wet washcloth for our partner to clean up comfortably with... we rush to put on clothing because when he's ready to go he won't be considerate and will open the door wide open so anyone outside can see you dressed or not. You scramble out of view, smile, thank him and generously tell him you hope to see him again.
You get so good at wearing a mask and being fake you shove your own needs further and further down. Inside you are lonely, you have no one to really talk to. Nobody to connect to on an emotional level. You don't trust anyone but stay on your guard expecting to be fucked over at any moment.
Your friends only call you when they want something from you.
Guys act interested in you as a person for some free pussy then never call you again whenever you do try to have a sex life outside the hobby.
You wonder if being independent is all it cracks up to be and you wonder if having a pimp and provider wife in laws could substitute for your family that's disowned you and left a void in your heart. You realize you may always be alone.
You contemplate if anyone would notice if you went missing.
You wonder if anyone would even care.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a day like a holiday... when your regulars buy you roses and take you to eat at The Cheesecake factory... if Hallmark had a section for Provider's Day cards and if people took the time to find us just the right one... then eagerly urged us to read theirs first...
Wouldn't it be great to be appreciated just once a year? Wouldn't it feel terrific if for just one day people were actually interested in what you had to say and sat down and wanted to watch your favorite movie without groping on you and insisting you stop watching it to please their needs...
It will never happen, I know. But at least it's something to think about...