Things I’ve learned as I hit 50, and hobbying for 15 years

First things first. I’m approaching 50, and I have been hobbying for about 15 years. I’ve seen many providers, and was pretty active for the first five years. After that, I settled down. I found a provider that I really connected with. Of course, I had always heard people say that - but we really did connect on many levels. Over the last ten years, we’ve been very good friends and talk to each other almost every day. I’ll post what I’ve learned from that, too.

1) Don’t be a time-waster. If you’re going to ask for an appointment, give her what she needs: length of time, date, who you are, incall or outcall, references, etc. don’t make her guess. Do you know how many emails she has to answer? Don’t go over your time. Be respectful. You don’t like it when your boss asks you to stay over for free, do you?

2) If what you want isn’t on the menu, don’t ask - find someone who has it on their menu. The ladies choose what they will and won’t do. You don’t go to red Lobster and ask for steak, right? There will be someone out there for you.

3) Do your homework. You’ll find ladies with great reviews, who fit the looks and menu, and price that you want. Don’t ask for discounts.

4) PRACTICE GOOD HYGIENE. I can’t stress this enough. Shower, clean the boys, brush your teeth. I guarantee this will enhance your experience. Honestly, you should be doing this anyway.

5) Treat her with respect. Just because she is in this business, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings or dreams just like you or anyone else.

6) It’s a business. Like a movie, you are paying to be entertained. Don’t enter this looking to rescue someone, date, or fall in love.

The above things worked for me for many years. I read many threads, and managed to keep myself grounded. And then I met her; I’ll call her Pam.

Pam and I had a connection right from the start. We both suppressed it for a while. Finally, I just decided screw it. I told her I had feelings, despite all I did to ignore it. I told her if she didn’t want to see me, I understood, but she needed to know where my head was.

She didn’t stop seeing me. She felt the same way, so we agreed to be friends outside the room, and explore things inside it - just let go and let things go where they will. We decided not to take it further.

That worked for us. So...we have become really close friends, and when we do get together, it’s amazing! What I’ve learned from that:

1) Rules are there for general, but what happens between both of you is decided by both of you.
2) You can deny your feelings, but if you’re straight up - just be ready for rejection or the consequences.
3) You don’t need her job to suck. It’s ok if she has a great time with someone else. It doesn’t change anything between the two of you.
4) Listen to her. That was the hardest thing for me - actually listening and believing it.
5) Don’t try to rescue her. It’s not your job. She can take care of yourself. Just be there to listen! You’ll be glad you did.
6) She doesn’t get to pick the people she sees. Every once in a long while, she really clicks with someone, but that’s not the norm.
7) There’s no room for jealousy. Just be honest about it. I think you’ll find that once things are out in the open, it’s not as bad as your mind makes it out to be.

Just a few things from an older gentleman. I’ve had my fair share of dumb things I did as well.

Got to disagree with the second no. 6 on your list: ‘She’ most certainly does get to pick who she will see, be her name Pam or any other girl in this biz, and that’s the way it should be! Me? I’ve learned, at age 74, I can and do function without the Blue V pill! When I recovered from a heart attack 18 months back, that medication was off the list! My first outing sans blue pill was nerve racking, not fearing the heart but wanting to find out if I could function down under. I could and did! 50? You’re a young man!

Good list

I disagree with No. 2. Unless she specifically lists it's not available on her profile, there is no harm in asking after you have tied your shoes and heading out the door after a session.

Good list.

Its cool to see people disagree!

I want to amend just a little bit:

A woman, even in this business, definitely has the right to turn down anyone who requests an appointment for whatever reason she sees fit. What I meant is that most don’t just go up to a man they want to be with and ask them if they will for money. The ladies have men email or text them, and they can decide if they feel comfortable, but they don’t just get to pick some guy they are attracted to.

And I agree, Fizley, if a menu item is not specifically stated as off limits, there’s no harm in asking. Just respect if she says no.

I am like Soulmate you are still just a youngster. I have been hobbling about 12 years on here for 9 and am 71. It seems you have two sets of rules or advice all good but I think they certainly have a choice of who they see unless they are truly desperate for $. Unfortunately for them they generally have to go into this blind without pictures of who they may be seeing. Since retiring I don’t get to travel like I used to and the small burg has no female companions so I have to rely on a lady to drive at least 2 hours. Luckily I have found the one or two willing to do so on more than one occasion.Happy Hobbying!

It is to bad that a lot of that even needs said!
But I know some people just don't know how to behave! Thnx

You have 15 years on me and I been hobby like 20 years.

I need to be "rescue" I a loser paying for championship with someone who going make me no more money.

I need to be "rescue" I a loser paying for championship with someone who going make me no more money. Originally Posted by Ripmany

English version, please!

I've learned it's like going to the candy store, so many to choose from & trying to find the right one that will really be YUMMY"!!!!

I've learned it's like going to the candy store, so many to choose from & trying to find the right one that will really be YUMMY"!!!! Originally Posted by Financeman22

Yes, and I’m addicted to chocolate!

I like how you think. Well said. 65 and doing this aggressively since 2007. I think most of us that approach this the way you do, end up with a Pam. I have mine. We’ve even discussed retiring together.

I for one appreciate your list and hope it's read & practiced by many xoxo