I remember when I was in junior high, being a dorky, socially-awkward teenager who had zero experience with girls. And one day, I was in the mall and saw a beautiful girl that I wanted to talk to. Usually, I would never in a million years have thought about walking up and starting a conversation, but for whatever reason, I decided this day that I would give it a shot. So I walked up to her and said hi, with the best of intentions, and was immediately and rudely rebuffed. And do you know what? It took me a long time to get over that. For most of my life, I always felt that women would never understand how much it stings emotionally to put yourself out there like that, only to be judged on such a superficial level.
But then I ran across this post and realized that the hobby is one of those rare instances where women get to be on the receiving end of such stinging criticism and have it made public, and well.... you see the results when some women leave the hobby with emotional scars and such. So ladies, if you ever wondered why a guy you were attracted to wouldn't approach/make a move on you, well... that's why
Think of how you feel/would feel if a guy wrote a review about you and said you were only a 4 out of 10 in looks, and then magnify that feeling by several times.Anyway, the reason why I wrote this post is to say that there are definitely some parallels between a guy learning pickup and a provider being in the hobby. For a guy, the thing you have to learn in order to overcome 'approach anxiety' is not to take rejection by women personally. You may get blown off by a woman for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Perhaps she has a boyfriend, just got fired from her job, or whatever.
Or perhaps she takes one look at you and thinks you're a clueless schmuck who smells bad. So you learn a thing or two about grooming, how to spark up a conversation, how to not invade her personal space, etc. Eventually, after several dozen approaches, perhaps you can stay in for 5 minutes without getting blown out, and then work your way up from there. However, no matter how skilled you get at approaching women, you're not going to score every time. Perhaps you have long hair and she is only attracted to bald guys, or whatever. But, at some point along the way, you're going to get rejected so many times, you stop taking these rejections personally, because you eventually understand that it's not you that she's judging, but only your approach and/or how she is feeling in the moment. Even if you're ugly, you just have to take that into consideration and understand that you're going to have to work a little harder than a guy who looks like Brad Pitt. As for me personally, I'm about a 5 or 6 in looks, so I know that, based on the law of averages, most women are going to judge me as such (sometimes more, sometimes less), and that's ok. I'm not going to cry myself to sleep over it.
For providers, there's probably a lesson to be learned from the above. But first, you have to understand that you're not above criticism just because you're a sex worker. If you go to a hotel or restaurant and receive bad service from a employee there who is not very competent at their job, you might voice your displeasure to the manager, as well you should. It's not that you're judging that person as a human being, but only the sub-par service they're providing.
And when guys write reviews, it's basically the same thing. If they write something negative about you, they're not implying that you're merely an object with holes to be plugged, or somehow sub-human. Sure, you may be a valuable person in the eyes of your family, your community, your church, etc, but if you're lousy at sucking dick, have the intelligence of a brick with no organizational skills, and/or you're so ugly that they could roll your face in dough to make gorilla cookies, that's going to be reflected in your reviews. The cool thing is that you can get more organized, better educated, more proficient at sucking dick, or whatever. You may be able to do something about your looks if that is a problem (such as losing weight, assuming you're not catering to bbw-loving hobbyists), but even if your looks are beyond what you can control, it's like the ugly dude who's going to talk to a woman... you understand that it's merely a minor obstacle to overcome, and not a reflection of your worthiness as a human. In other words, only worry about the things you can control, and don't worry about the things you can't. In zen terms, don't stress over 'what is'. Some guys are going to try to schedule with you at half your advertised rate - that's what is. Some guys are going to have less than flattering things to say about your ass - that's what is. Some reviews are going to read like those erotic stories in my dad's old fuck books - that's what is.
I guess my point to all this rambling is that as a provider, you can view the hobby as a blessing or a curse. From my point of view, it offers you a unique opportunity to find out what guys really think about you between the sheets, and allows you to improve on areas that you're weakest in. This is a huge plus not only for your professional life, but for your personal life as well. By the time you find a special someone (assuming you haven't already), you will have had a lot of practice and a lot of valuable feedback
And that's exactly how you should look at it... as feedback. (Of course, some people are going to be real assholes with their feedback, but that is a given no matter what you do for a living.)I'll tell you this, if I could go down on a woman and then have her give me an honest evaluation of how I did and how I could improve, I would GLADLY pay money for that kind of intel! Of course, I'm sure some ladies would be happy to oblige me on that, but I would never know if they were being honest with me
