Question for Providers

chuckfinley's Avatar
I am brand new to this board and a relatively new,<6mos, hobbiest and I will try to be brief. I own a business and take care of a sick wife. My life is extremely stressful. If any of you have ever taken care of someone it becomes a very lonely way of life. I do everything alone as my wife is unable to do much outside the home and all of my friends have "moved on" with their lives as mine is pretty much stuck in one place.I Love my wife and intend on taking care of her for the duration but at the same time am desperate for attention. It's not just sex, I went a year and a half without that, it is human interaction and feeling close to someone that I miss. My question is this: Do providers enter into friendships with men? Honestly, I feel just as alone after sex with someone I don't know as I did before. I hesitate to call myself a hobbiest because this is not a hobby for me. I'm trying to stay sane. Any thoughts?
I do indeed feel as though I become friends with my regulars. I know to ask them how certain things are. They get to know me and we can actually talk and not just have that sexual aspect. Granted I do not see clients to go out and hang out with. I do not talk to them asides from booking an appointment and during out session. I have boundaries in this business that I do not cross for both my discretion as well as yours.
Mature Companion's Avatar
That's the beauty of this adult lifestyle. Folks are in it for various reasons. And just like you mentioned, loneliness can be an awful feeling.
Especially when you love someone, yet that someone isn't able to be there for you in ways you need. So this hobby life allows you to interact with other humans in a way that helps soothe your loneliness (if only for a short while) helps make you feel alive (as a man) if only for a while. And this hobby allows you interaction with others (if only in the form of friendship and not intimacy and or both).
This hobby life, can indeed be a much needed blessing to some. And sometimes you meet a woman or man, who lights up your life in a way that helps heal that loneliness and you begin a friendship. A friendship within the hobby, where your not judged for *needing something in your life* that involves being with another human being.
A friendship in the hobby, with someone who understands and with whom you can freely express yourself, unlike with anyone in the RW.

So yes, there are women in this hobby who do enjoy a friendship with those she's met. And I'm sure one day, you'll find a woman *here* who understands & is compassionate about what your going through and what you need to make you smile, feel alive and help ease that loneliness all while your still caring and loving someone in your life. I hope you find that friend.

There are men I've met and on the very first date, I've felt like I've known them for years and who wholeheartedly & w/o hesitation, would enjoy a friendship with them. No matter what their life story entails. And to this day, there are some who are my best friends and we're there for each other whenever one needs a shoulder to lean on & an ear to listen. Just because we met in this hobby. Doesn't make them & their life's journey any less important. Rather all the more special. Because we're not standing in judgement of one another.



Life's a journey in many beautiful ways.



I am brand new to this board and a relatively new,<6mos, hobbiest and I will try to be brief. I own a business and take care of a sick wife. My life is extremely stressful. If any of you have ever taken care of someone it becomes a very lonely way of life. I do everything alone as my wife is unable to do much outside the home and all of my friends have "moved on" with their lives as mine is pretty much stuck in one place.I Love my wife and intend on taking care of her for the duration but at the same time am desperate for attention. It's not just sex, I went a year and a half without that, it is human interaction and feeling close to someone that I miss. My question is this: Do providers enter into friendships with men? Honestly, I feel just as alone after sex with someone I don't know as I did before. I hesitate to call myself a hobbiest because this is not a hobby for me. I'm trying to stay sane. Any thoughts? Originally Posted by chuckfinley
chuckfinley's Avatar
Thanks! I know now that there's hope...I just have to keep looking. In fact...you described what I'm looking for better than I could
Outdoorsman's Avatar
Ther eis always a psosibility of anytihng. The question is what is the liklihood? Most ladies will be client frinedly with you and prolly in your best interest to keep iot there. I have heard too many stories of men being taken to the bank becaus ethey thought she loved him or they thought she was a real friend. Pay for your time and keep it at that, unless you do find that on erare gem that you and her hit off a real friendship.

The hobby is just like anywhere else, if I meet a lady at a socail gathering, she is going to be polite and nice with me and if we have things in common she will talk with me at the function. Does not mean we will be pals but it does happen on rare occasions. Just remeber your participation in the hobby is a job for the lady, she is not into YOU, at least not at first, I am just saying be careful, that's all. Most ladies on here and with good reputations would not take advantage of you, but you have already put out in the public that you are vulnerable, some seedy lurkers pounce on that.

I hope all goes well.
chuckfinley's Avatar
You are correct sir.
Outdoorsman, that's great advice.

Everybody needs companionship. And whenever you can get a free moment from life, it would be nice to get some TLC. Understand there are some ladies who can be a real friend to you, but within the bounds of the way you met.

You may be more emotionally vulnerable right now than you know, so my advice about keeping your head is to treat each encounter like having a beer break on a long summer day. Savor it, and enjoy every sip, but when it's gone, all you've got left is the empty bottle so throw it away and get back to work.

(Just to clarify, in this analogy, the way we meet is the bottle, the packaging. The lady, the experience, the refreshing experience is the beer.)
topsgt38801's Avatar
I entered into this for different reasons than you, because my wife and I do not have a close relationship and I do miss the physical contact, but even more the communications and interaction with a lady. I enjoy the conversation and being with the lady as much as what happens behind closed doors. Most of the time the ladies over 30 are a little more experienced and willing to do the GFE experience than the younger ladies. Not always the case but generally true.

Read the reviews, choose carefully and go for it. Just remember this is a business for the ladies and do not become infatuated or in love with them. They can provide for many and most of your needs to maintain your sanity, but it is strictly a business for them.

Best wishes and good luck,

Top

I am brand new to this board and a relatively new,<6mos, hobbiest and I will try to be brief. I own a business and take care of a sick wife. My life is extremely stressful. If any of you have ever taken care of someone it becomes a very lonely way of life. I do everything alone as my wife is unable to do much outside the home and all of my friends have "moved on" with their lives as mine is pretty much stuck in one place.I Love my wife and intend on taking care of her for the duration but at the same time am desperate for attention. It's not just sex, I went a year and a half without that, it is human interaction and feeling close to someone that I miss. My question is this: Do providers enter into friendships with men? Honestly, I feel just as alone after sex with someone I don't know as I did before. I hesitate to call myself a hobbiest because this is not a hobby for me. I'm trying to stay sane. Any thoughts? Originally Posted by chuckfinley
I am brand new to this board and a relatively new,<6mos, hobbiest and I will try to be brief. I own a business and take care of a sick wife. My life is extremely stressful. If any of you have ever taken care of someone it becomes a very lonely way of life. I do everything alone as my wife is unable to do much outside the home and all of my friends have "moved on" with their lives as mine is pretty much stuck in one place.I Love my wife and intend on taking care of her for the duration but at the same time am desperate for attention. It's not just sex, I went a year and a half without that, it is human interaction and feeling close to someone that I miss. My question is this: Do providers enter into friendships with men? Honestly, I feel just as alone after sex with someone I don't know as I did before. I hesitate to call myself a hobbiest because this is not a hobby for me. I'm trying to stay sane. Any thoughts? Originally Posted by chuckfinley
If sex is not your main priority. Look into joining a social club in your area. The internet will help you in your search. Look for one with like minded people with similar interests. My father is almost eighty and he joined a Garden Club in the city he lives in. Even though he is married, his wife is much younger and still works. This gives him a chance to meet people and interact. Incidently there is mostly women in this club. Something of this nature would help fullfill your need for interaction with people you may have a lot in common with.
You are a lot like me. I lost my Wife to Cancer in 1998, no one will ever replace her. I am an older guy, I will soon be 65.

But life goes on. I do the ATF thing, I find one Lady I really enjoy being with, and I make it well worth her while to "enjoy" being with me.

Don't be cheap. If you want more out of a Lady than just BCD activity, then be willing to pay her for her time.

But always keep it "business". Don't get to thinking that just because you can have great times togther that it is any more than what it is, a Provider-Client relationship. And as crude as it might sound, don't confuse a providers ability to get you off with being in love.
Two years ago I went through some major family issues. I was in Nashville, ATL and Miami dealing with crap. Along with real life friends, there were 4 "clients" who called me to see how I was doing. I'm about to go stay at a clients house for two days - while he is gone.

Some "clients" are "clients" - it's all gloss. Some people do become friends of a sort. Do we exchange Xmas cards, go to each other's kids bday parties, bowl on the same league? No. It's more like a barfly / bartender friendship ya know?

Some people you will click with and some people you will not - in & out of the hobby.
Just remember;
This isnt Match.com. This is about a business relationship. yes, its a personal business, but its still a business. This is not a place to look for a relationship.
chuckfinley's Avatar
I'm not looking for a relationship...good lord one of those is enough! I guess what I'm talking about is someone with whom I can exchange the occasional email just to see how things are going and who may be interested in how I'm doing. My life has been this way for several yrs...I've tried a lot of things, reached out to a lot of people, and end up feeling stupid most of the time. Make no mistake, I'm in it for the sex too. After a yr and a half I'm like a kid in a candy store!
chuckfinley's Avatar
Babee, that's EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Those clients cared about you not just as a provider but as a person as well. If you knew one of those guys was hurting would you check on him?
I look at the hobby as business and a way of meeting great new friends...friendship is very important...I have alot of friends in the hobby world....you just have to be very careful not to get a hold of somebody that will abuse that friendship...be open, honest and caring....that goes for both parties involved...you can pretty much feel a person out and see how they are going to be..if at first its really good and they seem to be sincere, that's good, but if it gets to a point they start asking you for things then that's a red flag....then it may be time to back out of the situation. I hope that you find somebody that will be sincere with you and your situation. Good luck to you.
chuckfinley's Avatar
I guess this world is just like the real one...just gotta keep lookin til you find the right girl