Some questions about discretion and screening... Answers please?!?!

So I've been wondering a few things since moving to New Orleans, and going independent with my work...

I can't seem to figure out why certain potential clients become overwhelmingly annoyed or verbally hostile when you ask them for provider references and/or personal info for screening purposes only. I can see them having a fear for their personal information being misused... But why is misuse of personal info a concern that seems to supersede the concern for my physical safety? Have there been a barrage of events were verified providers in New Orleans steal personal information and exploit clients? Because on the contrary there are nearly daily news stories of providers all over the world being attacked and the abuser goes off the grid because he never provided her any traceable info. I would think any respectable adult to understand this reality.

Also, I recently had an issue with a client seeing me in a public space and blurting out my alias, "Kaya! Kaya!" while I was enjoying a nice shopping day with some chums from back in my university days. I was mortified, but kept my composure and DID NOT respond. One of my friends said, "who is that guy calling? Do you think he's talking to us?" Of course I said I had no idea and moved on. What is to be said about this breech of trust for discretion? How can I be so diligent about keeping my clients needs for discretion met, yet I do not receive the same treatment?

These types of situations confuse me. I post these two scenarios in coed because I wonder what both hobbyists and providers have to offer me in terms of advice... Please and thank you!
These guys should definitely be avoided and I noticed that when I moved here too. if you know I'm legit why can't I question you... Is how I look at it. As far as that incident in public I'm so sorry for that.. It happened to me today in the hotel lobby. He followed me all the way upstairs.. I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT IT SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE A HIPPA AGREEMENT. unfortunately not even can grasp that concept.
I'm curious also I had a provider ask for way too much stuff that is incriminating that can be used against you if they were the fuzz. anything you admit can be used against you if things are a sham
I'm curious also I had a provider ask for way too much stuff that is incriminating that can be used against you if they were the fuzz. anything you admit can be used against you if things are a sham Originally Posted by luvthebooty
So only see girls that have plenty of reviews and proof that they are safe like preferred 411 and such.. She can't really expect info on you if u can't find any on her. Or exchange the sensitive info only through eccie pm.
tkdbf's Avatar
  • tkdbf
  • 08-23-2012, 11:36 AM
Speaking for myself, I never give out personal info for the same reason the ladies don't use their real name or give out their info, because I don't want them to know it. It's simply a matter of covering my ass from trouble. Providing references and/or P411, for the ladies that use it, works well for both parties and will weed out the majority of people to avoid. I say majority because no matter how much you know about someone there is always a chance for trouble. With that being said, I have no clue why a gent would get angry when asked to provide the info. If a lady asks for info I'm uncomfortable giving I simply tell her I don't give out the info in question and if there is no work around I wish her luck and move on. Getting angry about it is just silly and childish.
My gut feeling when a guy gets defensive is that he is either trying to get over on me or cause me harm. If they aren't willing to comply with my screening, I hang up on them. I don't have time for bullshitters.
pornodave69's Avatar
...I can't seem to figure out why certain potential clients become overwhelmingly annoyed or verbally hostile when you ask them for provider references and/or personal info for screening purposes only. I can see them having a fear for their personal information being misused... But why is misuse of personal info a concern that seems to supersede the concern for my physical safety? Originally Posted by Kayakinks
If the client is on P411 or another verification service there is no need for any other info to be given to any provider. That's the whole point of that service. However, if they are not using one of these services they should not be concerned with providing references unless their references are not good.

Personal information is another story. If you're asking for this and they've provided references or use P411 then you have no need for their personal info and they have legitimate cause for concern in you asking for it. We've all heard about psycho providers using personal information and calling some guy at home and/or work or contacting his wife, girlfriend or SO and none of us want that. It is a bit lopsided in the fact that the provider knows personal info about the hobbyist but we know nothing personal about the provider at all, so all the power to either be discreet or ruin our lives is in your hands. If they're newbies with no references or other means of verification you have every right to verify them and ask for personal information. If they don't want to provide that information don't see them.

Because on the contrary there are nearly daily news stories of providers all over the world being attacked and the abuser goes off the grid because he never provided her any traceable info. I would think any respectable adult to understand this reality. Originally Posted by Kayakinks
The same applies to providers regarding the safety and discretion of the client, but that hasn't always been the case. And those stories never make the news.


What is to be said about this breech of trust for discretion? How can I be so diligent about keeping my clients needs for discretion met, yet I do not receive the same treatment? Originally Posted by Kayakinks
You should receive the same treatment and any client that doesn't treat you the same should no longer be a client and the same applies to the providers who breach this trust.
Yes, I agree that there are stories of providers misusing information, but as I mentioned previously, misuse of personal information vs. rape or death aren't exactly a legitimate comparison. Thanks for all your input folks. I of course accept P411 or other references before asking for personal info.
pornodave69's Avatar
misuse of personal information vs. rape or death aren't exactly a legitimate comparison. Originally Posted by Kayakinks
It is for the guy who won't harm you. Your safety is more important to you. His safety is more important to him. It's all in the perspective.
biomed1's Avatar
These guys should definitely be avoided and I noticed that when I moved here too. if you know I'm legit why can't I question you... Is how I look at it. As far as that incident in public I'm so sorry for that.. It happened to me today in the hotel lobby. He followed me all the way upstairs.. I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT IT SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE A HIPPA AGREEMENT. unfortunately not even can grasp that concept. Originally Posted by miss amy

Point of Order Please!

That is HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996).

There have been updates and revisions since the original act was passed.

It is an Act of Congress and thereby a Law that dictates How and When Protected Health Information (PHI) may be shared or transmitted. It is not an agreement, it is a Federal Law.

Forgive the Hijack...

Back to the OP, there has to be a "feeling" of trust on both sides of the transaction.

How that trust is built is a matter of rapport between the 2 parties involved.

This is after all; a sale of services, is it not?

The 2 examples of abhorrent behavior by Hobbyists serve as a shining example of what NOT to do.

Be Careful & Enjoy!

Biomed1
Really dude? Haha hahaha Haha hahaha hahaha. I think people got my point Poindexter, without all the technicalities non related to the hobby.
biomed1's Avatar
Really dude? Haha hahaha Haha hahaha hahaha. I think people got my point Poindexter, without all the technicalities non related to the hobby. Originally Posted by miss amy
Just know what your taking about BEFORE you show what you don't know.

Biomed1
Yeah. I'll remember the way people react to me posting my thoughts without doing research first... And STAY AWAY FROM THE BOARDS OF NEW ORLEANS. why are you guys so rude? I don't see the motivation to point out everything just to be a smart ass?
biomed1's Avatar
Miss Amy,

You'll find that when I do post that I am well versed in the subject.

You'll also note that I have been on the boards as far back as ASPD.

Additionally, it is not in your purview to tell me where I can and can not post on the boards.

I also "remember the way people react to me posting my thoughts".

The name calling is actually quite unattractive and unnecessary.

Such is the pity...

Be Careful & Enjoy!

Biomed1
Actually was saying thanks for making me feel unwelcome to post. I said I will stay away... You do what you want. Isn't this supposed to be a hobby?? I guess I thought we were all here to hobby for fun........ ..........