OK, been thinking about this for a while, my fingers have cooled off and the desire to vent is still burning within, so here it is….
This board used to be so nice, before the demise of ASPD and the resulting influx of displaced members. There was minimal (if any) drama, name calling, and general useless fodder. But, progress is also change, and sadly not all change is good.
A recent thread started by a hobbyist on behalf of a lady in need triggered a number of replies. Some were supportive, others were negative, some were accusatory, others were defensive, some were critical of life choices, and still others were downright ugly.
So what’s my beef you ask? It’s quite simple, actually.
Regardless of who made the original post for help, whether it was sincere or not, whether it was originated at the request of a lady or a result of an individuals own good intentions, why can’t people simply look the other way and hold their tongue (or fingers as the case may be) when they don’t feel help is warranted?
Why not leave the negativity and cutting remarks out of it, and let the readers decide if they’d like to help? Why pile on, when it serves no useful purpose? If you don’t like what you’re reading, close the thread and move on. Negativity is such wasted energy.
My Dad taught me a lesson years ago, and it’s been stated on the boards before. If you’re going to help someone out financially or otherwise, do it because you want to. Don’t expect to mandate how the person you’re helping uses the money, or how they live their life. Assistance with conditions attached is a recipe for disaster and disappointment. And most importantly, never expect to see gratitude in return, or in the case of money a payback. If you receive thanks and/or payback, be pleasantly surprised. If not, at least you didn’t expect it from the start.
If you can’t provide help within these guidelines, then simply don’t bother. It’s just not how you’re wired as a human being. It doesn't make you a bad or good person, it's just who you are.
Whew! I feel better. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to rant.
TP out for the day.