Losing Tension and Frustration

I've had all this pent up shit inside of me... and I'm having trouble letting it go... if u know what I mean

I had this visual of letting go n beating anyone near me with a cane, breaking glass, shooting a few, u know my usual fantasy ...and that helped me a bit

But I'm essentially frustrated

If not that

Oh god, boredom

If only

I had the right man to push me over the edge

Choke me, slap me

Pull my hair

Slam my head against the wall

Maybe

Maybe then, I'd feel something

I'd probably get a high, at least

But if I can't beat people or have someone push me around

Then what else a woman to do

Gooddd... this tension has been piling up for quite some time

It has to go somewhere

Meanwhile, I gotta play the role of a gracious hostess for my work n people asking me why I'm so serious

Wellllllllllllllll

If there weren't so many f'ing idiots running around

If only I could get my hands on my ex before he went off n f*** him senseless

If only I could blow my brains off

If only I could have one big last final powerful orgasm

If only I could come back refreshed. Reborn

If only I could erase all of you

If only I could

Someone needs Nurse Ratched's attention ...

Now I understand.....completely!!

A good hobby should help with your problem.

Being serious for a moment, if you truly find life as brain numbing and emotionally unfulfilling as you seem to, I suggest you seek some help. The world is not always a beautiful place, nor a nice one--but it contains awesome beauty and stimulation in among the more mundane. And the good parts do not all require money, nor do they all involve orgasms.

I honestly and seriously hope you open your visor and actively embrace some of the beautiful things. Life becomes brutal and miserable if you only look for the dark parts. Life is only boring if you allow it to be (the physically ill excepted). Your recent posts have moved from the weird to the morbid, and that is where you choose to stay the. You will have constructed a very wretched prison for yourself.

... You will have constructed a very wretched prison for yourself. Originally Posted by Old-T

The prison has long since been constructed. It's the release she seeks, while doubting such to be possible.

Thank you for the lovely post, Miss.

First make yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually sound!

If that doesn't work or you think you are there??? You may mow my lawn, it will provide all you seek.