Sooo, the Biden brain trust

HedonistForever's Avatar
Sarcasm Alert!


Sooo, the Biden brain trust is gathered in the oval office to see what they can come up with to "right this sinking ship", but then Joe doesn't think it's sinking because he doesn't believe the poll numbers but when the Saudi's wouldn't take the President of the United States phone call, well, that was a wake up call to those in the room we'll assume actually have a brain unlike their boss.

Jen Psaki is up first, they drew straws and she lost. She stands up, does her very best Raggedy Anne impression, and says "this is all a messaging problem", because surely there is nothing wrong with our policy decisions to which one brave soul then asked, "then why won't Saudi Arabia pick up the phone if it's not a policy problem"? Cold stares and a quite whisper and giggle can be heard, " she didn't just really say that did she"? Biden says, "how the hell could we have a messaging problem when every damn news channel in America, parrots what we tell them to say, except that damn Tucker Carlson".


Little side note for those not paying attention, you see, Saudi Arabia is pissed about Biden trying to make an incredibly stupid deal with the worlds largest sponsor of terrorism in the world who shouts "death to America" at Friday prayers and Biden wants to give them billions in sanctions relief and buy millions of barrels of oil from Iran in the deal. So not only would Biden be making a deal with Saudi's mortal enemy for oil which we could have gotten from the Saudi's if not for the deal but also financing Iran's war against Saudi Arabia in the deal. Sensitive, huh? But back to Ms. Psaki.

Psaki, always on point, clears her throat and says, "as I said, it's a messaging problem" and here is how we are going to turn this message around, "Tik Tok".

Biden looks at her inquisitively and says "Tik" what? Tik Tok repeats Psaki. Mr. President, there is an app on the internet, Biden raises his hand and says "a what on the what"? The internet Mr. President and there is a place where all the young people go, the ones who don't purchase any gas at all another whisperer says. Psaki, we hire the "influencers" that have the most views and we let them explain how high gas prices are Putin's fault and not yours.

Of course it's Putin's fault! Everybody already knows that. Psaki, well, no Mr. President, the polls show that the majority of Americans are blaming you! Me?, What did I do? This is 100% Putin's fault. Yeah, another brave soul speaks up who was foolishly told that they should speak up, that's why they are in the room, to hear their valued opinion, and says "Mr. President, gas prices were going up long before Putin invaded". "Who is spreading that filthy rumor Biden says, I want names! That was the end of anybody else giving their valued opinion, we thought.

Psaki, so here is how it will work Mr. President. We get this really, really cute girl, sorry, young woman, who is built like a brick shit house, ( Psaki is blushing right now but you really can't tell with all the rough on face ) to say "I was fortunate enough to get to ask the White House, why the price of gas is going up so much" and then we feed them a line of bullshit how you Mr. President, shut down the XL pipeline and threatened to put the oil and gas exec's in jail for all the damage they have done, so that you could save the world from climate change and it would have been great if Putin just hadn't started this damn war. "Even if we started up the XL pipeline, it would be 14 months before it would be up and running, says Psaki. A young aide having not learned her lesson yet says, "it's been 14 months since you shut it down Mr. President and it would be sending 900 barrels of oil to America right now if you hadn't and it would have been sooo much easier to get the oil and gas exec's excited about drilling and producing more if you hadn't threatened to put them in jail. She was escorted from the room with a wave of the President's hand.

"Alright Jen, let's see this cute as hell, built like a brick shit house young woman and see if she can pull off this new piece of propaganda"! We prefer not to use that word Mr. President, it conveys the wrong message and lord knows, we have enough of that already.

Enter Ellie Zeiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lPKh0fQ7LU


Unable to resist a stunning young woman, built like a brick house, I thought I would check out some of her other "appearances" and I couldn't believe the lyrics to the songs she was dancing to. This stuff was so raunchy, I couldn't believe YouTube would allow it up, but they did. And this what the young people are watching and listening to. A universe away from me watching Sky King and Roy Rodgers growing up, Dale Evans never looked like that.

So this is what we have come to America and it shouldn't come as any surprise to any of us. Tik Tok, the Chinese app collecting data from every American that clicks on it. Data is the gold of the 21st century don't you know and China will have more data and more actual goal probably before this bufoon leaves office IF he manges to stay in the office for another 3 years. God help us all.


And in the what will be the immortal words of Trevor Noah, comedian extraordinaire and Biden supported, "this would have never happened under Trump, never"!
... "DRILL MATES DRILL!"

### Salty
HedonistForever's Avatar
The Biden "brain trust" hadn't left the previous meeting more than 15 minutes, when a new "concern" came up and it was a dozzy. Psaki, "Mr. President, we have to talk about what we are going to do with the possible Petro-Dollar situation".


Jumping to his feet, Biden says "we have a situation, ANOTHER God damn "situation"! What do you people do all day if not take care of situations before they hit me with them! And what the sam hell is a "Petro-Dollar", says the President of the United states and member of Congress for over 40 years? You could hear the snickering in low whispers, "he rally doesn't know what a "Petro-Dollar" is, does he". Well you see, says a new aide who doesn't know better than to stay out of this, "for the last 50 years or more, Saudi Arabia", "Crist on the Cross" Joe Biden says, "are we talking about Saudi Arabia again, I thought we had moved on to some new kinda dollar like crypo, right?


No Mr. President, as I was saying ( you could tell, he really wanted to say "before you interrupted me", but of course he couldn't say that out loud ) it was decided long ago that the sale of oil would always, legally, be done in American dollars, it was the "gold standard of the world's currency", he reminded the President thinking "surely that didn't slip his mind, surely, right ? A rhetorical question indeed.


So if China is going to purchase oil from Saudi Arabia, it would have been necessary for China to pay Saudi Arabia, in American dollars, a way to keep a volatile market as secure as possible, can't be arguing about what the value of each purchase would be valued at in more than one currency, it has to be one currency, everybody agreed and American caught the gold ring, it was "rewarded" that right! But a right given can surely be taken back by unscrupulous countries.


Enter a proposal from China, "you see our strength is rising and America's falling, the world sees this" says the Chinese Amb. to the Saudi Amb. The Saudi Amb. says, "I never thought I would see the day when we could take America out of the deal and we turn to the what will undoubtedly be ever more valuable, Yuan.


Saudi Arabia Amb., says "I never thought I see the day we could fuck those Americans up the ass, this is going to be so wonderful, let's do it".


Who do you suppose had to try and explain to President Biden, what might happen if the world trading currency changed from the dollar to the Yuan?



Stay tuned.
dilbert firestorm's Avatar
saudi arabia is in talks with china on the Petro-Yuan.


don't know if it will go thru. but I think they're thinking or more likely to follow Dubai's position on having a Petro-cocktail of currencies
Why_Yes_I_Do's Avatar