Taking What You Want, The Old Fashioned Way

I just finished having a lunch with someone I'm in extreme lust for. So let me warn you that this is my first PWI, and I'm frisky at that.

While having my third drink with him we started discussing our experiences with lovers in vague terms. I mentioned a potently sexual attraction to a person with the ability to come off as totally vanilla, predictable and "normal", with classical gentlemanly manners that are obviously bred into him as natural instincts, a firm system of honor, while being a shameless freak in private. In particular referring to his comfort taking what he wants.

My lunch date pointed out, that the willingness to take my body is in fact old fashion, and thus in keeping with his character, gentlemanly charm and proper exterior. "They didn't need permission," he points out.

That totally stood me on my head. All this time I thought they were sexy contrasts, while in truth being a powerfully sexual whole.

This then lead to a discussion on how modern conservative feminism and political correctness has stifled a lot of opportunities for primal carnal indulgence. There's a lot of good sex not happening because people have bought into dogma.

While studying feminism in school we were given a case study from the 1940's, looking at attitudes towards wives - in particular the idea that it's okay to rape your wife. A husband had approached his wife, who was doing the dishes, threw her skirt up, held her head to the counter, and took her. Then walked off to finish whatever his daily tasks were. At the time I was horrified.

Fast forward five years as a man grabs my hair and has my head down on the dining room table as he suddenly decides to take my body. I walk off with weak knees thinking - wow, how do I make that happen again! My professors would have told me I was a victim of patriarchy. I would argue it was passion.

Of course context is everything. I have no idea what the woman back in 1940 had to live with everyday. If I were living in fear of violence, that wouldn't be a moment of submissive ecstasy, it would be degrading fear. Context is everything.

Meandering pointless post complete

This then lead to a discussion on how modern conservative feminism and political correctness has stifled a lot of opportunities for primal carnal indulgence Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Amen..despite also PWI.

C x

Amen..despite also PWI.

C x Originally Posted by Camille

Cheers!

Cheers! Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Of course context is everything. I have no idea what the woman back in 1940 had to live with everyday. If I were living in fear of violence, that wouldn't be a moment of submissive ecstasy, it would be degrading fear. Context is everything. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Amen to that.

Meandering pointless post complete Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Not sure it's meaningless. The post - and responses - validate that there is a number of people who feel the same way. That there is a large number of women who want to be taken... the key question is, how do you tell the difference?

I do like it that in society today, we are hopefully increasingly leaning on the side of caution*. I grew up in a very patriarchal culture and first-hand saw the costs it incurs. I like that on a general social level, consent needs to be emphasized, not taken for granted - even though personally, I may prefer a different scenario. But it's comforting to know that if I don't feel like being roughly thrown against the kitchen counter, my partner would listen - immediately.

*And then you look at date-rape or gray-rape discussions, and wonder if we are getting anywhere...


P.S. What's PWI?

But it's comforting to know that if I don't feel like being roughly thrown against the kitchen counter, my partner would listen - immediately.

P.S. What's PWI? Originally Posted by Thais

And that is the key, that there is the kind of trust that the woman knows that if she says no, even if she has enjoyed it 100 times before, that her partner will stop.

PWI: Posting While Intoxicated

I'm lost or not hip, or whatever. What's a PWI? I googled it and somehow I don't think you were speaking about Pro Wrestling Illustrated. :-)

PWI: Posting While Intoxicated

the key question is, how do you tell the difference? Originally Posted by Thais

We discussed this as well. He looked at me with burning eyes from across the table and said, "When you know, you know." And he knew I'd tear his clothes off in the washroom if he so much as suggested it - cocky bastard.

I don't think it is that simple. He knows because he has incredible instinct. Not everyone does, in fact, most don't. I've had people read me wrong, hearing I'm submissive, thinking they can take such liberties and be corrected - which is pretty damn awkward.

So how does one know? Thinking about it, there's much to be said for how the sexual relationship has evolved that let these lovers know I'm happy to submit.

it's comforting to know that if I don't feel like being roughly thrown against the kitchen counter, my partner would listen - immediately. Originally Posted by Thais

Now that I read your words, it occurs to me the knowledge that I can stop it, is exactly what allows me to fully submit. It's not submission if safe words don't work. It's violence.

re: context

It works the other way as well.

I had a lady friend who when she had an itch would have no problem throwing off her clothes, throwing mine off and then just climbing on for what she wanted. There was already a trust level and admittedly I had never in my life had been in fear of assault which made those moments rather exhilarating.

I'm lost or not hip, or whatever. What's a PWI? I googled it and somehow I don't think you were speaking about Pro Wrestling Illustrated. :-) Originally Posted by Lovely Victoria

You have just reminded me of one of the reaons why I miss you posting LV xxxxxx

Fast forward five years as a man grabs my hair and has my head down on the dining room table as he suddenly decides to take my body. I walk off with weak knees thinking - wow, how do I make that happen again! Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Simply role play... I love it! I can honestly say I love suggesting doing something out of the usual. My date usually reply's with... what do you have in mind... then I say... i'll be right back.

Is it any wonder that men are confused about women?

Not everyone does, in fact, most don't. I've had people read me wrong, thinking they can take such liberties and be corrected - which is pretty damn awkward.

So how does one know? Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Communication? I sometimes tell my partner that he can do anything - and if I don't like it, I will tell him - as opposed to him asking permission first. Well, I suppose you need to make sure your mouth is not occupied for this to work...

I'd rather have clumsy over-communication the first couple of times, then err on misreading the other person. Than once you've learned that this works for you, you can indulge.

Now that I read your words, it occurs to me the knowledge that I can stop it, is exactly what allows me to fully submit. It's not submission if safe words don't work. It's violence. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

I believe that's BDSM/kinky sex 101, isn't it?

Although some fantasies include precisely the inability to stop things... but that is one of the reasons to recognize and emphasize the difference between fantasy and reality.

Is it any wonder that men are confused about women? Originally Posted by notdeadyet