Giving References....Gents Please Read

I ALWAYS give references as soon as I see that I got a PM, IM, or Email for them. I am very good about it and do my very best to give as many details as possible so that the other Lady feels safe and is informed (He likes this____he doesn't like when_____he likes a shower as soon as he shows up, he had a glass of red wine with me, he was ticklish...) so that their date goes as well as possible and both parties enjoy themselves.
Lately I have been getting reference requests from Gents that I haven't see in 8 months-2 years. I understand that some Gents don't hobby as much as others but that is a long time.
My new policy is not to give a reference if I haven't seen someone in more than 8 months. 8 months is a long time, I can't remember as many details at that point and I don't know first hand if someone is still an ideal Gent. All of us Ladies know that a lot can change in weeks let alone months. For all I know he could have turned into a complete jerk that rips girls off and I would be blindly giving other Ladies the okay to spend time with him because he was great with me a year and a half ago. I can't risk doing that to another Lady.
Today was the last reference that I will give out from longer than 8 months ago. Hell, I was perfectly clear with that Lady that I haven't seen him in almost 2 years. I explained that he made a date with me months after he saw me and canceled then showed interest on a trip months after that but never set anything up and then I had a family emergency emerge when he last showed interest in possibly making a date with me but he didn't set anything up and I had to cancel my trip anyway. I explained that when I saw him he was safe and sweet and that was all I remembered after so long. I feel like a jerk that I didn't have more information for her and it made me feel like I was a somewhat unreliable reference which makes me feel crappy because I want to help as much as possible.
Sorry Gents, but, I feel that my new policy is best for us Ladies and that it isn't unreasonable.

I can't remember what I did a week ago let alone 8 months LOL. Love the new avatar

Not a problem

I'm so happy this is going in a positive direction, I was on edge that it could go horribly wrong haha. Thank you for your posts Gents.

Nope!! I do believe most of us would understand. I dont know how you would remember who is who after 8 months anyways. Think this should be a good standard for all providers to go by.

I have no problem with that policy. I think most guys wouldn't even ask if it has been so long, unless you were his only possible reference.


My only real problem is that my name isn't laying on that sweet rack!

I have no problem with that policy. I think most guys wouldn't even ask if it has been so long, unless you were his only possible reference.


My only real problem is that my name isn't laying on that sweet rack! Originally Posted by bigkid69

*Blushing*

My new policy is not to give a reference if I haven't seen someone in more than 8 months. 8 months is a long time, I can't remember as many details at that point and I don't know first hand if someone is still an ideal Gent. All of us Ladies know that a lot can change in weeks let alone months. For all I know he could have turned into a complete jerk that rips girls off and I would be blindly giving other Ladies the okay to spend time with him because he was great with me a year and a half ago. I can't risk doing that to another Lady. Originally Posted by Lexxxy

That is the only part of the discussion that I don't think is terribly valid when ladies say that they time limit their references -- saying that the guy may have become a psychopath in the interim. That is , of course , true, but if a guy's attitude changes , it could happen the day after his visit as easy as a year after. There really is no sure thing to use as a time period.

That being said, the policy is very fair -- especially if you are giving well thought out references like that. Some ladies just say yes or no. Others give more detail like what you do. No way should a guy expect you to remember all that detail on everyone you meet for longer than 6-8 months. Sure, some ladies go longer at their discretion -- especially with a long time client who developed a solid rep, but 8 months seems very fair as a general rule.

My only real problem is that my name isn't laying on that sweet rack! Originally Posted by bigkid69

Damn! Just noticed it myself a few minutes ago. I am sooooo clueless sometimes....

Did I already miss my "turn"?

when getting a reference where I may be the topic.
please remember that

He's a fucking asshole

may be true from some. from a few it may be a term of endearment.

Tonight I just got one from years ago from someone I have no recollection of seeing at all. I feel bad that I am the only well known provider he has ever seen so I'm the only reference this girl will take and I dont remember him.
Sorry

Lexxxy, can I use you as a reference? We saw each other .............. oppp's I'll have to fix that. In the meantime, can I have a pre-reference? LOL

Lexxxy you have never met me or seen me, I thinck that is an advantage over GP, can a guy get a reference?

I can even help with the content of information you can pass on:

dork
asshat
fucktard
no skills.

lazy

Lex, I think you're being more than generous with 8 months. Even 6 should be adequate.