This is going out in every Christmas card this year
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In The Spirit of The Season:
This year I have completely bought into the philosophy of a green economy utilizing local renewable resources. Additionally, I have rejected the culture of commercial consumerism. Instead of giving everyone cheap consumer products produced with slave labor in China, I have committed my entire gift budget for Christmas, Chanukah and Cuanza, to improving the lives of the indigenous peoples of Central America.
In fulfillment of this commitment, a generous donation has been made—in your name—to purchase a giant, ancient, old-growth Rosewood tree in Honduras. A local company has agreed (pro-bono) to harvest this ancient tree and convert it into charcoal briquettes that will be donated to the local people for cooking during this holiday season.
In their name, I thank you.