From A Male Perspective

Good Morning,

I would like to give you an idea of the kind of morning that I have had so far. Then I would like to hear your perspective as far as how you feel about it, what ways to address this issue, & how to prevent things like this from occurring in the future.....
I had 2 appointments booked for this morning. Got up early to exercise and eat. Upon getting ready for my first appointment, I reached out 10 minutes beforehand and he canceled. My second appointment completely went rogue. I have several errands today which include the grocery store for meal prep, getting my hair done, & packing for an upcoming tour. All to which are time consuming. Just because I am an Adult Entertainer does NOT mean that I have absolutely nothing better to do than to sit around and wait on an individual that may or may not show up.The ladies have lives too gentlemen. Men, WE ALL need to do better. I'm not perfect however, I'm making an attempt to get better at paying closer attention to my phone and tending to my emails. Please keep in mind that this is not the only thing that I do. I know quite a few ladies that have a day job. Some guys in the chatroom discussions have complained about providers that have started taking deposits.....lets take a moment to look at this matter from a broader perspective. Feel free to share your 2 cents.

I would be hesitant to give a deposit and here is why. I have had appointments with providers I have seen numerous times, place and time set communication I am on the way they confirm only to be ghosted and left waiting. The excuses they come back with to save future business are laughable but I am not one for drama so I don’t engage, I just determine if I want to see them again. With that said I would be hesitant to pay a deposit because I don’t trust a provider would refund it if a “issue” came up. Unfortunately it’s part of the business, but a girls brand may determine if a deposit would be a issue. I honestly have never read anything bad about you, your brand appears to be a solid attractive reliable provider. When I am stiffed I feel like it’s a total lack of respect. I understand it’s a business and perhaps they got a better offer or a higher paying regular, if they communicated truth rather then stories I’d probably be fine with it.

I can honestly see both sides. Toyo brings up very valid points, his exact senarios have happened to me. Bentley I can fully understand your position, as Toyo says it comes down to brand. If we could trust a follow through and good faith on the provider side I would consider a deposit (I think you're in that category). It could only work for the relatively few that have a good track record and decent communication. It would no doubt reduce the number of appointment requests as the time waisters would be put off as well as the no-deposit crowd. Not sure how many would be left at that point.

Bentley, sorry that happened to you... my feeling is that for someone like yourself - with an established record and excellent reviews, I would not have any problem giving you a deposit before our appointment - at least, before the first one, until we are comfortable with each other..
It's the "fly by nighters," "only here for a short timers," and other assorted STG flotsam who think I have to "prove myself" that I balk at sending a dime in advance.

So sorry that happened to you. Hammer.

Wish you were a little closer - I'd fill in anytime you were ready for me. I appreciate your commitment and respect for the time we spend together. I don't travel 150 miles for many - you're one!!

I would hesitate to send a deposit because there are too many scammers out there. I agree that a well regarded provider with a spotless record should be OK. I have never ghosted a provider but have been ghosted several times so l will stick to my policy of no deposit. One problem is it’s harder for providers to evaluate the clients than vice versa. Clients with a history of reviews like ones on this site should be reliable. Otherwise both unknown clients and unknown providers are a roll of the dice.

I'm sorry some idiots no showed / canceled on your. Im not a fan of deposits as most guys feel the same.ive had providers say they are on way only to either no show,be hour or more late or cancel as well wasting my day also. I can only suggest blocking those #s and perhaps letting other providers in your circle know . Are there any " deposit" systems that maybe hold onto the amount for say a short time thats not touchable to you until say a certain time? Hard to explain what I'm trying to say but maybe a way the deposit can be returned or just canceled upon arrival. Hope things go better for you

Yes I realize that guys pull no shows and such more often than people may realize. And of course lots of providers ghost guys or whatever, usually for no or bs reasons. I myself are beyond OCD and anal retentive about dependability and being on time for any appt. One suggestion would be for you to require client to text you or acknowledge your text like an hour or so (depending on particulars) before the appointed time or else you will assume the client not coming or something along those lines. I myself generally try to do acknowledgment at some similar point. This was I know provider (even well established regulars) is there, awake, remembers appt etc etc. Also helps ensure I dont accidentally run into providers Mom who stopped by for a visit, or her kid home sick from school, etc. Yes, might annoy some custoneed, but with proper flexibility n explanation I think guys would be ok with it.

At least around here doubt requiring deposit would fly. Deposits are scamster 101, and I automatically assume any ads talking about deposits are fake. Can understand elite level providers who are travelling into area for handful of customers asking, but beyond that doubt it would fly. Even if legit request from someone like yourself, kind of like loaning money to friends or relatives-too much potential to hurt relationship.

OK, now I understand. I have to remember that everyone does't think like me. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, providing them with enough rope to hang their self. It bothers me when people take me for granted. I am a human being above all. I have a life, a family, feelings, and things to do as well. I do not sit around all day beat-faced waiting for potential appointments. I have more productive things to do than entertain pictures, sexting, and smut texts. I go by appointments in order to schedule myself accordingly. What about a compromise? How much of a deposit do most girls require? 50%? Some nail salons require a $50.00 deposit defending on the type of service. I feel like a $25.00 deposit would be fair and appropriate. I really don't want to have to do this. It's ridiculous. We are all adults here.

Bentley, I am curious are there any review sites for clients? I feel your participation on here is a really good thing. It makes us guys remember we are visiting other human beings, who we need to respect. I believe asking for a guy's handle on here and the other site may be a good indicator of how a guy feels about the ladies he has visited and may be the next step before a deposit. Respect and communication are keys to any relationship, even a relationship that lasts a half hour.

I would give you a deposit but not someone I have never seen before.

There are a few sites that review guys however, not all guys are on them. I definitely appreciate all of the insight you gentlemen have provided. We are a community of adults with a common goal....... To have fun and to do so safety and efficiently! So lets all try to have some fun. Life is too short to be wasting other people's time.

I feel for you Bentley. You deserve way more respect than that. Sad to say but there is no “dumb ass” vaccine!
Cannot wait to see you again and I would respect whatever you decide.

I would personally never give a deposit. Too many guys have gotten burned even from a girl they see regularly. Even though i have never seen you (yet!!!), I’ve been around long enough to know you are one of the trustworthy providers. but giving a deposit is just something I would not do.
A lot of guys are dicks. They do not always value someone else’s time....and that is Especially true in this hobby. on the flip side, many providers ghost clients too.... Sometimes after they travel long distances or book the hotel room, etc. It’s human nature to be inconsiderate and selfish. Consideration and respect are virtues that are learned (taught), and not everyone has them.
If I book an appointment, I will be there. I will treat the lady with the respect a lady deserves, and I hope she treats me the same. I cannot speak for others, and the reviews I read on this site reinforce this....ladies ghosting guys, taking their money (yes, including deposits). Men talking about a provider like he owns her because he paid. It’s sick. It is the side of this that disgusts me (and probably 90 percent of the hobby/provider community agree with this sentiment). It is also why most guys would never offer a deposit, a face picture etc.
sorry this happened to you.