In today's Internet of Things™ and tons of different communications devices and methods, it's not like setting up a small and simple way to communicate between providers can't be developed without running afoul of anyone. This seems a ridiculous problem to have considering the glut of solutions out there.
For example:
I hear there's a ladies only section not unlike the Men's Lounge here. That's the perfect place to create a sticky thread with contact info. This would be even better if the contact
method were consistent between everyone too.
Best case is if all involved chose to use a secure messaging service like Wickr (
https://www.wickr.com/ ) and only those in the ladies private area would have access to the list of accounts. What's more, if one account becomes publicly known or whatever, a new username on the service can be quickly created to replace it and maintain the privacy of communication between providers and reduce harassment.
Then when a hobbyist shares their references, the provider simply goes to the list of other providers, gets their Wickr ID, and shoots them a message asking for verification. Since services like Wickr have self-destruct messages a provider doesn't get forced to deal with a massive queue of messages and I'm sure a reasonable/rational time limit can be agreed on by providers for when to count a non-response to an inquiry as a non-confirmation.
That's just me spitballing an on-the-fly answer to this particular complaint (using a tool I'm familiar with), and that's really just a quick exercise in the problem solving. It might not be good enough or address all the needs, but that's because I'm not spending the time doing discovery and assessment first. But this isn't exactly unsolvable using available tools.