A day with Mr. Smith's Family

Ok guys, some of you might think that Smitty and I are full of shit sometimes........well maybe all the time. But some of the things we post about actually happened, irregardless if its about pussy or general stuff. We can't make this up. Case in point:

This past weekend Smitty invited me to his house for a gathering. Unbeknownst to me he invited his family, cousins, in-laws, nieces, nephews and some of his workers. Smitty just built an outdoor kitchen and it is quite nice. Surround sound, huge tv, restaurant size stainless steel sinks, etc. He went all out on this kitchen. When I got to his house there were a good group of people that were already there. Made some introductions and met some of his family. To give you an idea of the conversations that were being tossed around, for those of you that watch Duck Dynasty with the Robertsons, that was about the flavor of the talk.

To give you an example,,,,,,,,,,,,Smitty introduced me to one of his cousins, a big burly fellow, about 6' 4", around 250 to 300 lbs. Nice guy. To give you a lil background. Smith is going to build a pond. Yep you heard it right a pond. The family wants a swimming pool but Smitty wants a pond and wants to stock it with fish. Even though this fucker has never gone fishing that I know of, he wants a pond with fish in. SMH. He tells his family that they can swim in the pond if they want to.

He is telling his cousin where he is going to build this pond and how he plans to make it a pond that any redneck would be proud to own. Well not to be outdone by Smith, his cousin tells him that his pond is so deep that he cracked the salt water table and that it is impossible to drown in his pond because the water is so salty that you can not dive underwater no matter how hard you try. His wife then tells the group that when she is floating in the pond, all she has to do is stick her finger in the pond and rub it on her Corona to get it dressed. Oh and the cousin has a backhoe up to the pond and has a rope swing off of it to jump in the pond.

You should have seen them going back and forth over ponds. Then they started talking about what to do with the dirt that is dug out of the pond. Of course Smith is going to place it at the back of the property for a shooting range. Then a lively conversation about pigs began. One of Smith's sons asked me sarcastically if I was impressed with the conversation. I just looked at him with a tear in my eye and said I have to go home.

SMH.

What's your point city boy?

No point Smitty, just an observation. I enjoyed myself and the food was good. My compliments to your wife.

No much going on, is there??

lolwut?

Badass

By any chance, was Larry the cable guy at this gathering?

A shooting range? All you need is ammo now.

El Gato is starting to sound like one of them there "yuppie girls" to me!!!

Sounds like a blast, I wish I could have been there and met the burly 6'4" cousin... I'm just saying....

El Gato is starting to sound like one of them there "yuppie girls" to me!!!

Sounds like a blast, I wish I could have been there and met the burly 6'4" cousin... I'm just saying.... Originally Posted by Aidan MacKenna

The two of you would hit it off Aidan. He's not as charming and sophisticated as I am, but I think ya'll would have a great time.