Gentlemen. Question about providers initiating contact.

Hello all you fine gentlemen. Hope all is well for you. I have a bit of a dilemma I am hoping you can shed some light on. I have a lot of mixed opinions from a variety of ladies on the subject & thought it's time to get it from the horse's mouth.

As a provider, I am cautious to the extreme about discretion. My theory is, my primary responsibility as a provider is to insure your secret remains a secret at all costs. Therefor, I do not initiate contact (unless given permission) Neither by phone, email, or text messaging. My thought is if you want to see me, you will contact me. Even in my travels, I won't contact a hobbyist to let them know I will be in the area. (again unless I am given the okay to do so) I advertise on several boards, BP ect. well in advance assuming eventually my regular friends will see the ads & make contact in the event they are available & interested.

I have been criticized over this & told I am cutting myself short. I find that advice bothersome. My thought is filling my pocketbook should never come before your privacy & security. Please share your thoughts.

Thanks!
Leann

My thinking is in lne with yours. I find spam mail, "wanna see me" tactics beyond tacky. Most girls use the ole, "I just want to see how you're doing" which translates to "I need money...wanna see me" lol.

The only way I will even contact a guy via pm is if he specifically tells me to let him know when I am coming to town. Even then, I feel it's not necessary when the ads speak for themselves. I will never just call or text someone which is why I don't save numbers or emails. It's just too much work to spam every guy you have previously seen ha ha.

Correct to all of the above. Unsolicited dialing for dollars is a big mistake in this world.

It also gives off the desperate vibe, which leads to many guys wanting a discount. Hell, if a girl was bothering me on my time, I would damn well ask for one in that instance.

A girl doing well in this business, does not have to contact anyone....they will find her.

There's a big difference is contacting someone out of the blue and asking specifically for an appointment, and just letting them know you'll be in town.
I've had a LOT of people ask me to let them know when I'll be in their area, and then get mad that I didn't PM or email them.
Why? Because it makes guys feel just a little special that you remembered to contact them. So they're not just another guy.

See if you can add a mailing list to your website, or just your email as a distro list. Some ladies years ago used to make yahoo groups for this.
If it is not an option on your website, have guys who are interested email you with something like "updates, tours and specials" in the subject line so you know to add them to this list.
Then when you want to share an unpublished special rate, or you're touring, or going to be unavailable for a while... you can send one mass email.

(In gmail - above the compose mail button is the word "contacts" after you click that, look down just a few lines and you'll see "create new group" click this and name your group. Now you can add emails to this group to send one mass email)

Again, you would only be adding emails of those who asked you to be notified, so you're not soliciting. You're using good customer service practices.

As a hobbyist let me say thanks for the consideration. I'm sure your instincts serve you well. It's different with everyone I'm sure. With me it's perfectly fine and I welcome contact by email / pm anytime. All hobbyist should have a hobby email account. I also have a hobby phone which means it's only on when I expect to need it generally 1 - 2 hours before and after an appointment.

Ladies will sometime ask if's ok to contact when they travel back to town and I will give them my preferred contact method. I don't think emailing someone with whom you have not previously communicated would be good but an email / PM should be fine for those you have.

It also gives off the desperate vibe, which leads to many guys wanting a discount. Hell, if a girl was bothering me on my time, I would damn well ask for one in that instance.

A girl doing well in this business, does not have to contact anyone....they will find her. Originally Posted by London Rayne

Ditto.

If the guys wanted you to bother them via email, they would sign up for your mailing list.
I have over 300 mailing list members on mine and the only time I email them is a week before
I'm in their city. That is the exception.

I abhor mailing lists. It requires you to keep a log of guys you have seen which is exactly like having an online black book..no thanks. I can't tell you the number of guys who have me on their contact list and their email gets hacked. I end up with links from every moron on the planet, and I am cursing out the wrong guy lol.

London, I think it is smart for ladies to have a mailing list. When sites like escorts.com crash, hell if eccie and TER decided to go take down their website, your mailing list will always be there. It's a smart tool and mine is hosted off shore. And best of all, guys OPT IN for it. I don't even need it sometimes when I travel but definitely helps with touring.

If we have chatted or visited before, probably more than a one time visit, and you want to drop me a note, not a big deal.

Cold, out of the blue, no way.

Now, I have had ladies that I exchanged posts with, maybe you could call them barbs, that dropped me a note even though we have never seen each other, and that was fine. Elisabeth Whispers and I have exchanged many a note, and we have tried to hook up a few times, but schedules never work out. A note from her, as an example, is fine, a note from the latest poster to the welcome wagon forum, not so much.

London, I think it is smart for ladies to have a mailing list. When sites like escorts.com crash, hell if eccie and TER decided to go take down their website, your mailing list will always be there. It's a smart tool and mine is hosted off shore. And best of all, guys OPT IN for it. I don't even need it sometimes when I travel but definitely helps with touring. Originally Posted by Naomi4u

I am online 24/7...now tell me WHY I need a mailing list lmao! I really don't get that much business to have to keep up with them lol. I just don't use them, and never had to. Too much work to update that crap, and I don't want a log of people I see anywhere. If Eccie and TER crash..so what. The guys know where to find me, as I am sure they still know the website. I just don't like keeping info. anywhere...pc, or the phone. Too much trouble.

I think it's a smart business tool. There is nothing to update. Imagine having your personal pool of potential clients when touring. Imaging NOT getting any hits on your ads, no emails no nothing and your tour is about to fail... well your mailing list is always there.The email address are all hobby email address and sorted out by states. No real info is ever provided. Dumb? Nope smart. That's just that. We will agree to disagree my friend.

Granted, but I don't "need" it. I don't have that many guys to keep up with, and I don't need to let anyone know when I come to town. I have a website, a calendar, and the dates posted all over the place. If I were running a legit business like I do in RL, I would use it, but I don't need one for this.

The way you do it may work, but most require you have an actual contact list in your email...not gonna do it! I don't keep phone numbers or emails of the people I see period, and I never will. It's not about having "real info" either...makes no difference. I simply do not want a way for anyone to track what or who I am doing if I ever get into trouble.

Correct to all of the above. Unsolicited dialing for dollars is a big mistake in this world. Originally Posted by Chica Chaser

+1 (dialing for $s... that's funny)
I just have a rule, never contact someone unless I'm contacted first.
who has time to do that?

edit..i do have time lol but I would never do that , just comes off desperate

I am an email only provider. I don't talk to people on the phone unless they request it privately or I am on my way to their hotel. The mailing list is not actually keeping tabs of YOUR clients. Why would you need to keep tabs of YOUR cleints, you've already seen them and if they want another date they can contact you. A lot of guys sign up for mailing list to keep up with a girl they want to see. That way when the girl is coming they will know and save up or do whatever to book a date with the girl.

Fishing is something that I am against. It is TACKY and desperate. A provider should not email or call a client out of the blue. However, with a opt in mailing list, a client is ASKING to be contacted via email. A lot of ladies have their mailing list in an offshore database for the client's protection.

When I plan a tour, within 48 to 72 hours of putting out an ad I'm usually booked and don't have to mail my mailing list. However, if that weren't the case, I'd contact the guys on my mailing list to fill in my schedule.

All of this is automated. I spend wayy too much time on eccie .. no way I can be sending out email blasts .