I'm going to be apart from family and friends this year. If you are too, consider joining me. I see a bottomless mimosa brunch and a trip to the strip club in my future. I mean, I've got to do my part to make Christmas happen; you know those dancers are headed to Black Friday sales as soon as they get off the stage--Tickle me Elmo ain't gonna tickle himself!
Boys, girls, and trans of all ages are welcome at my table.