Confucius says jokes, dirty ones

Feel free to add

I have two:


1. Confucius say: "Panty not best thing in the world but next to best thing in the world."

2. Confucius say: "Man going thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"

Conscious say “Virginity like bubble, one prick...all gone.”

Confucius say "Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger.''

Confucius say: he who fart in church, sit in own pew.... from my childhood back in the 70s.... one of the first jokes I taught my daughters when they but wee lasses... they took so much pride and joy in saying that and a few other nonsensical zingers to unwitting guest and/or complete stranger... it was so cute and of glad I got it on video, along with their mom/my wife of many years, kicking me under the table and mouthing all sort of unsweetened curse words...we laugh about it now...

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Prostitute who like bondage, strapped for cash.

Man who walk in front of car gets tired, man who walk behind car get exhausted.

When mosquito land on testicle, man realize there's always a way to solve problem without violence.

Man who sneeze without tissue takes matter in own hand.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Many nails needed to make crib, only one screw needed to fill it.

Woman who fly upside down, have crack up.

Man who kisses girl's behind, get crack in face.

Man who keeps hands in pocket feel cocky all day.

Any man can climb tree to get cherry, but wise man opens legs.