Is it okay to "negotiate" a "date"

OK... I'm probably a dumbass for asking this question... but here goes... please don't hate me....
I'd like to take a provider on a "date" ... dinner, maybe a movie, then BCD... I'd expect that this "date" would last 3-4 hours.. however, I can't afford 600 - 800 for an evening like this... Is it okay to "negotate" with a provider for this type of setup? Is it different if I've seen the provider before or if it would be my first time with her?

Typically girls do not like it when you try and negotiate their rates. Time is money.
Some may find it insulting. If you don't have the funds for 3-4 hour date, then you should save up, or find a provider with lower rates. I hope I didn't come across as a bitch, but just trying to tell you as honestly as possible.

best of luck!

Is it okay to "negotate" with a provider for this type of setup? Originally Posted by flboy65

No, it's not ok to negotiate. But, it is ok to post an ISO in the forums letting ladies know what you are looking for and wait for them to contact you.

Good luck.

Meg

No, it's not ok to negotiate. But, it is ok to post an ISO in the forums letting ladies know what you are looking for and wait for them to contact you.

Good luck.

Meg Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

Precisely! That would be the best way to handle it. I would NEVER condone someone trying to start some kind of negotiation. Your donation covers the time, NOT the activity, so that fact that you want to hang out a bit before does not change the actual donation amount. See?

Good luck and have fun!

What you are asking for essentially is a date with the provider at no cost then to pay for bcd afterwards.Not going to happen .Maybe if you have a particular lady you have been visiting for quite some time she may be willing to spend some time with you non-bcd but a new gal wouldn't.They aren't in it to be your actual girlfriend.

I'm sure there are a few girls here that would love a nice evening on the town followed by some play time, just ask what your looking for and I would guess most girls would at least entertain the idea, let THEM set the price, not you. Keep in mind these girls are in the business of selling TIME, they don't want to be your date because it costs THEM money.

Most girls don't and won't negotiate, but if a girl calls and ask's me to come see her, I'll always ask how much to bring and that's what I pay.

If you can't pay, don't play.

Although I'm in basic agreement with what the women stated above, if someone was interested in me, then I would appreciate the chance to say yes if it was something that I was interested in. (Although I'm constantly being haggled down and it does get on my nerves)

I know that my response isn't going to be popular with others, but these are hard times for many and well, a girl has gotta eat anyway. I've always been pretty easy going about going out to dinner with a man from the boards anyway.

But that doesn't mean, in theory, you shouldn't go with the regular rate that she suggests (sorry for the double negative in this sentence). It's just been my experience that having a little bend, on my part, has yielded me some wonderful clients and lovers who have also become friends on some level.

If it's good company, well ... who knows? But I will fully admit that I do NOT follow "The Rulebook of Harlotry" very well. I kindof make my own rules along the path and most of the time it works for me.

Hugs,
Elisabeth

I agree Elisabeth to an extent. I have several gents throughout the places I visit I go to dinner with, etc. I guess I should say.......if it's somebody I have never met and don't know, then it's not ok to negotiate. If it is somebody I have a history with, ask me first before posting. I just took the OP's question as having never met a lady.

Meg

No, it's not ok to negotiate. But, it is ok to post an ISO in the forums letting ladies know what you are looking for and wait for them to contact you. Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

I think Meg gives you some great advice here....post an ISO saying "hey, I'm looking for an evening of a, b, & c, and I'm looking to pay x amount, pm me if interested." I bet you're likely to get more response than one would expect. I think there would be quite a few ladies out there who would prefer a longer relaxing engagement, maybe even an overnight, with one nice gent over seeing multiple random guys for the same donation. Other than the obvious having to go through the formalities every time i.e. hi, whatcha been up to, etc; the girls go through a lot of time and effort getting ready for each meeting and this certainly figures in. Regardless, it can't hurt to try and see how it turns out.

Thanks for the candid replies everyone, you've basically confirmed what I was guessing... that it might be okay once you get to know each other or you've become a "regular"...... but not with someone new that you've not met or that you've only met a time or two. The ISO suggestion is a good one... I had not considered that option... thanks

Looie... I wasn't suggesting anything for "no cost".... maybe a "discount" would be a better term.... for the Pre-BCD activities.

NO----It is not okay to negotiate a date.
-look at it this way. providers are similar to medical doctors. they provide a service of time and companionship for a donation. if you go to your doctor, then you must pay what the doctor asks for, otherwise, the doctor will point you to the door and remind you that he has plenty of other patients that need his attention. in this scenario, bargaining does not work. if you cannot afford the doctor, the look for a clinic, where the fees are more affordable.
-therefore, my final piece of advice is the following: Learn to respect a provider similar to how you respect your doctor.

well I know you didnt say no cost but by discounting for the whole evening it would amount to close to the same thing.The iso would be your best bet till you get to know a few of the ladies better.

flboy65, Everyone and Everything is negotiable. It's all about your approach. I think Meg gave you the best path to take. Spell out your plan in the ISO forum...how much time, what activities, and how much you're wanting to spend...and then wait for the ladies to contact you. If the offer is decent, I see no reason why things wouldn't work out.

I've negotiated with my doctor, i've negotiated with my attorney, i've even negotiated with the judge, business is business. Hell, you can walk into Best Buy and negotiate with the manager on a brand new TV if you want. (Took $100 off the price AND got them to throw in a free wall mount) Not sure why people think its ok to do when you're buying a car but not anything else. The American mentality shys away from the art of "haggling" but its a way of life for people in many countries. I see no reason why it can't be done here...but as suggested, the approach matters. It's not that you don't think the lady isn't worth the price she's asking, it's that you want to make a deal thats beneficial to both parties. A lady isn't being paid for every hour of the day, so if she happens to be free all evening...why not make a decent amount of money AND go out to dinner. Sounds fair.

For me, it would work even with a new client if I felt safe with him and all other things being equal. I've done it before.

I had a very UTR friend who would always go out to eat afterwards, if asked and she liked him. Which meant (she was a fun date), that she had a lot of nice dinners. But she was single and that might have made a difference.

I don't follow a rule book, so that might be my difference. Also, there are time restraints for everyone.

There is a term that I just learned about last week, but it's obviously not new, called "Clock Free". It's been discussed in the Diamonds and Tuxedos forum. It's just a sense of a date that doesn't really have time restraints except to state that spending the night isn't included. It's kindof a cool option.

One that I've considered. Just another alternative.

Hugs,
Elisabeth

There is a term that I just learned about last week, but it's obviously not new, called "Clock Free". It's been discussed in the Diamonds and Tuxedos forum. It's just a sense of a date that doesn't really have time restraints except to state that spending the night isn't included. It's kindof a cool option. Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

Excellent post Elisabeth, this is definitely a great option for those who want the date style encounter. You may spend 2 hours together, 4 hours, maybe 5. You agree on a set price and run with it. If it works for the parties involved...why not.

I have off board hobby encounters like this where bills are involved. For example...I'll pay this months rent, and you give me a "clock free" date.