Guilt By Association

We are all guilty at some point. This has been bothering me for quite some time and I thought it would be a good topic. I really try to judge people based on their interactions with me. I said "try" !! When I first started providing someone told me not to see a certain well know hobbyist. I was very naive at the time. I was unaware of all the "chess" that goes on on the boards. Later some drama came into my professional life as a result of being friends with a particular provider. This provider had never done anything to me, so I took everything people said with a grain of salt. It wasn't until I was also shunned by a group of ladies for my association with this provider that I began to examine this whole "guilt by association" thing related to this profession. I am sure I will be shunned again for attending a luncheon of Whisper's and burying the hatchet with my long time enemy (for lack of a better word). What prompted me to do all of this was being shunned myself. So, does anyone have any good stories or thoughts on guilt by association?

You're up late........

Umm, you mean other than being guilty of hanging out with Britney Bangs?

I doubt you will be shunned by going to a lunch organized by Whispers.

If the association you mention is what I think it is, there is a big difference. That appeared to be a clique that attempted to control what threads others post in to a degree. It appeared to try to exert some control and exclude people, and whine when it couldn't. Whispers may write controversial posts and point out where he sees people being hypocritical or just silly, but I have not noticed cases of him excluding people. Including vs. excluding is a huge difference.

We are all guilty at some point. This has been bothering me for quite some time and I thought it would be a good topic.

It should be if people discuss it honestly.

I really try to judge people based on their interactions with me.

As it should be. The way someone interacts with someone else paints only a picture of the relationship with those two people.

I said "try" !! When I first started providing someone told me not to see a certain well know hobbyist.

I've heard for a long time that gals get pressured not to see me.... I've heard it for about 9 years now. When you choose to not see someone based on other people's opinions that have never met the person all you do is cost yourself money as well future business. It's kind of a Catch-22.

I was very naive at the time. I was unaware of all the "chess" that goes on on the boards.

It is petty individuals that let emotions get in the way of business.

Later some drama came into my professional life as a result of being friends with a particular provider.

Been hearing that for the last 10 years too. There always seem to be a couple of ladies that think they know best about how YOU should run YOUR business. A common result is that when you finally separate yourself from them you realize all they really were doing was using you for the sake of their business. They can't keep from crossing the line from "advising" to "controlling" you.

This provider had never done anything to me, so I took everything people said with a grain of salt. It wasn't until I was also shunned by a group of ladies for my association with this provider that I began to examine this whole "guilt by association" thing related to this profession.

It's unfortunate but tends to be human nature that people break off into little cliques and avoid each other and gossip a lot about each other.

I am sure I will be shunned again for attending a luncheon of Whisper's and burying the hatchet with my long time enemy (for lack of a better word).

Ya need to tell me who your Long Time Enemy was. I didn't see any hatchets getting buried! Sounds like an interesting story.

What prompted me to do all of this was being shunned myself. So, does anyone have any good stories or thoughts on guilt by association? Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

I honestly think that is a shrinking concern. One clique is shrinking and the other is growing. It's kinda like high school.... You got the jocks/cheerleaders/cool kids... and then ya got the smoking/drinking/leather jacket wearing bad kids..... In between is everyone else... It doesn't matter where ya fall someone else is gonna have something negative to say about you..

I think what EVERY lady has found at one of the GC Parties put together is a group of guys that includes a lot of men they already know as well as a lot of new faces. They are always treated with respect and tend to have a pretty good time.

I put the parties together but they are hardly about me. Enough of you ladies have been that can attest to that....

Enough of you ladies have been now that there should be less of that stigma attached.

Plus I'm being all nice and sensitive lately...

All very good points guys. Your reference to high school is spot on! That is pretty much the way I view it a lot of the time. It is just so silly, at least to me, for people to make SO MANY assumtions based on people you associate with. Usually this sort of thing wouldn't bother me. Usually I would laugh and say they people can think whatever they want about me... I don't give a shit, but that's not a good attitude to have in this business!

You have a good heart, Doll.
Don't ever feel bad for giving folks a chance & showing them kindness. Regardless of who shuns you or looks down on you.

Continue being YOU!

We are all guilty at some point. This has been bothering me for quite some time and I thought it would be a good topic. I really try to judge people based on their interactions with me. I said "try" !! When I first started providing someone told me not to see a certain well know hobbyist. I was very naive at the time. I was unaware of all the "chess" that goes on on the boards. Later some drama came into my professional life as a result of being friends with a particular provider. This provider had never done anything to me, so I took everything people said with a grain of salt. It wasn't until I was also shunned by a group of ladies for my association with this provider that I began to examine this whole "guilt by association" thing related to this profession. I am sure I will be shunned again for attending a luncheon of Whisper's and burying the hatchet with my long time enemy (for lack of a better word). What prompted me to do all of this was being shunned myself. So, does anyone have any good stories or thoughts on guilt by association? Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

I beat to my own drum. I, at one time, cared a lot about how people thought and felt about me. To the degree of allowing it to effect my emotions. I have since grown up.

I don't know who is shunning you and I am sorry to hear about it.

Never worry about what the competition says, or does..focus on your business...cause in the scheme of things thats what it boils down to..they are the competition!!

.

You should thank anyone that rejects you solely based on the fact that you are friends with provider x, or hobbiest x. They are letting you know that they are petty and small minded. You are better off without them.

Fuck em,
LF

I couldnt agree with Ladies fan more..FUCK EM!!!

Brit don't worry about what others think of you, they are not paying your bills. Your a great gal, I know this from the time you helped me after my sugery that went bad. Also the time we met for lunch with a few other ladies. I'm friendly with many, however I dodge the drama, because at the end of the day it does not effect me, and I am not in high school anymore.

It has been many, many years since I have given little more than a passing thought to "guilt by association!"

I have better things to do with my time! <wink>

Thats why i dont get wrapped up in "cliques" not here and not in high school. Lol i did not even realize there were cliques on here. Silly me! Do what you want Britt... see who you want, go where you want and by all mean SCREW who you want You are a beautiful grown woman!

I just stay out of it. Drama drama drama. No thanks.

Like Marley says, do and screw who you want. It's the only way to live.