So PROVIDERS & GENTS...What's the most GROSS thing that has happened to you during a session?

You gotta love it when a guy comes in who's big into DFK and burps in your mouth....Salami Sandwich? ...Whataburger #1 all the way (WITH ONIONS)??

UGGGGGGggggggghhhhhhh!


Or when the guy comes in and makes you watch a homeade PORN of him and his OBESE wife having sex...Okay, well really she was just laying there...and Ew~OMG~was that a Popeyes's Chicken leg in the bed next to them!?? ...seriously, that's supposed to be a TURN-ON??!


There's been some other things too, but I'll save the good stuff for later. Ha!



Just curious~ Looking for a good laugh today....I love hearing other's stories! Please don't be shy....

DISCLAIMER: No Names or Handles. This is not intended to point fingers at anyone!!

Well there was this one situation with a very drunk young lady...

Nevermind on that one.

I had a lady fart in a session when she orgasmed particularly hard during DATY. Hey, at least I knew she wasn't faking when she lost musle control to keep that one in until she was done.

Well there was this one situation with a very drunk young lady...

Well I still don't know what exactly happened that time...so THAT doesn't count!! Ha!

I had a certain woman excuse herself to the restroom during a session, and came out ten minutes later and we continued. I then however proceeded to the restroom after the session was over and found a nice little surprise awaiting me... I was not the happiest of people but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!

Two words ......... SHART !!

Read my review of gfelala.....shudders.....

I got my redwings, Didn't know till I looked in the mirror. I would like to see the provider again, but I just can't get past it.

I had a lady I visited last year who wasn't fresh when I went down for DATY. It really messed me up for awhile. I was scared to make the trip down again. I just knew I would get a whiff of rotten cooch!

I had a lady fart in a session when she orgasmed particularly hard during DATY. Hey, at least I knew she wasn't faking when she lost musle control to keep that one in until she was done. Originally Posted by Boltfan

Damnit bolt, you said you'd never tell on me.




and I'm soooo glad I wasn't the one who started this thread but I'll totally post on it! I don't know if there is enough time to go through all the gross things. I'll pick 2 and pass the thread.

1. I was doing a massage and as I was moving up the back of the leg, he farts (with perfect timing to my face being over his ass.) Not just a little poot, but a whole huge big wet one. My entire office smelled like ass for 2 days.

2. This one still tops my list as one of the grossest thing I've ever had happen and that was a guy peed in the water bottle and left it unopened on the edge of the tub. Guess who didn't know it was there and spilled it all over herself...

Kayla outing herself is awesome!

Actually I have another secret about you but it is still safe hehe.

I had done a session and afterwards, I left the room and told him I'd see him out front and to take his time dressing. He came out eventually, paid me and kinda hurried out the door.

I went into my massage room to change the linens and he had shat all over my table. I'm talking intestinal distress people, diarrhea. I had to break down the table, cancel three hours of appointments and disinfect the entire room and had to throw the sheets, table warmer and padding into the dumpster. I must have burned half a box of temple incense. It cost me $85 to replace what I had to throw away

He didn't even tip me.

In Seattle a lady that I had seen on previous trips was
visiting me in my hotel. We were going at it hot and heavy
in the Missionary Position. I thought she was extremely wet
but after I blew and pulled out we discovered that she had
started her period. The bed looked like you had butchered
a hog. She was so embarrassed and apologized. She said
that she was early. After she left I had the maid come for
cleanup and bed change. Needless to say that she got a big tip.

Massage+ session with a CL girl. (is that enough?)
Session was horrible, but that's not the gross part.
First time with the girl, so she had a friend sitting in the living room with a dog (I guess for security.)
It was a total "Murphy's Law" session anyway, but when I came out of the bedroom, there were 5 fresh dog piles laying around the living room with the "friend" just laying there on the couch eating cheetohs and watching tv.

Thinking I was gonna get a nice hot load all over the boobs and scarily enough it shot straight up my nose as I was taking a breathe...oh yes i was blowing my nose for awhile!

One time a guy requested some toy play while I was massaging him....
flipped him on his stomach...went to spread those cheeks....
DO YOU GUYS NOT FEEL A DINGLE BERRY/CLING-ON WHEN YOU HAVE ONE????!!!






Yes, I said it. (gawd I hope you're not eating lunch reading this, sorry)