Had A Hip Replaced (Hobby Related . . .really!)

ICU 812's Avatar
OK, SO I had a total hip replacement operation. I woke up in recovery and everything seemed alright, but as the last procedure of the day, it was late. Finally got into a hospital room and they settled me in.

So there I am, flat on my back with pneumatic cuffs wrapped around my lower legs and the legs strapped to a foam wedge to keep everything immobile . . . .and now I have to pee. Everyone goes on about how they make you stand and walk right after surgery, but it is too late to get that evaluation from the physical therapy professional, and the nurses will not let me get up. They give me a plastic bottle.

That is not working. With all the trauma to my thigh and near by crotch, there is numbness, swelling and shrinkage. I mean George Costanza scale shrinkage. Never a big man to start with, I jam my stuff into the mouth of the urinal bottle and it looked like half a can of Vienna Sausage. And I still can't pee. The Nurse says don't worry, If you cant do it before 10PM we will use a catheter. The clock says 8PM and I am in a world of hurt, so I tell her do it NOW.


Family and friends clear the room and my nurse, her assistant and the Charge Nurse for the floor come back with the gear . . .I lay back in significant discomfort with my dress pulled up to my chin. Everything is still somewhat numb from the operation and I don't really feel much until bladder relief begins.

So I sit up a little and I see two Asian women, one 38-40 the other under 25, and both gorgeous-to-hot. Looking back, each was 9/10 on the AMP scale. They are professionally handling my junk. . . in a medical way. They turn to look at me , smile and inform me just how much (a lot) is draining from my bladder.

There is no reaction from my equipment, no feeling of arousal, just bladder relief. And I am thinking that the only way to get that later will involve a Mama-San and $400!
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
ICU,
Pitch a fit, and they will help you to the bathroom.
The only person that can overrule your demands is your surgeon.
Not the friggen floor nurses.
A man can dream.
I'm guessing that you may have had spinal anesthesia? If so, that takes a while.
UC...NOT good advice.
Lexieinhouston's Avatar
Wow, what an ordeal! I hope things are going better today.




~
ICU 812's Avatar
Surgeon's protocol: Physical Therapy must evaluate the patient before first post-op walkintg.. That did happen before breakfast the next AM.

I am fully satisfied with my treatment, the care givers and the care given. Now 3 weeks later, I am walking with a walker, and doing PT exercises . Looking to progressing to a cane in a week or two.

The post was intended to unburden myself of that really odd feeling that I was at a high-end AMP (if there is such a thing) but with the happy ending being measured in 500 ml of pee.
Surgeon's protocol: Physical Therapy must evaluate the patient before first post-op walkintg.. That did happen before breakfast the next AM.
Not unusual....

I am fully satisfied with my treatment, the care givers and the care given. Now 3 weeks later, I am walking with a walker, and doing PT exercises . Looking to progressing to a cane in a week or two.

THANK YOU SIR...
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
I'm guessing that you may have had spinal anesthesia? If so, that takes a while.
UC...NOT good advice. Originally Posted by alaine
alaine,
They kissed my ass.
ICU 812's Avatar
Not a spinal, but a more local nerve block.

I really do not want to identify my surgeon or the hospital on this forum, but I am satisfied and pleased with everyone who had some hand in caring for me. My thanks to all of them.

Re-hab progressing well so far.
Enchanterlingum's Avatar
The post was intended to unburden myself of that really odd feeling that I was at a high-end AMP (if there is such a thing) but with the happy ending being measured in 500 ml of pee. Originally Posted by ICU 812

Well, if you get full on diabetic neuropathy, you can be in a position where you don't know exactly WHAT is coming out, so THAT is a very real possibility.


O the indignities of getting old...
ICU 812's Avatar
Well, if you get full on diabetic neuropathy, you can be in a position where you don't know exactly WHAT is coming out, so THAT is a very real possibility.


O the indignities of getting old... Originally Posted by Enchanterlingum
I understand. While it doesn't look like I am facing diabetes, we have a family friend who became paralyzed from the waist-down at age 43 or so. She had a cyst that bled into her spinal Colum and rendered her a paraplegic. She has no feeling at all from , say, her navel to her toes. Bowels, Bladder and all female sexual feelings gone over a period of 3-4 days.

So, yeah, I understand what is possible.
Spoogebob Cumpants's Avatar
Hope you’re doing better.
Man the hips and back are killers.
Can’t sit or lay down when those hurt.
Enchanterlingum's Avatar
I understand. While it doesn't look like I am facing diabetes, we have a family friend who became paralyzed from the waist-down at age 43 or so. She had a cyst that bled into her spinal Colum and rendered her a paraplegic. She has no feeling at all from , say, her navel to her toes. Bowels, Bladder and all female sexual feelings gone over a period of 3-4 days.

So, yeah, I understand what is possible. Originally Posted by ICU 812



Oof, that's a tragic, unfortunate situation there.



Usually with diabetic neuropathy it takes place over a significant amount of time. First it's like electricity randomly going down your lower legs that continues until all you ever can feel is pain. Eventually you don't even feel that anymore. The process then works its way north.



I have never had what I described above happen, but there was an instance once that made me panic where a nice lady that was about 40lbs heavier than I am used to hopped on for some CG action. In doing so, she gave the area an unexpected press. I can feel pressure building, but I cannot always necessarily identify what it is from. So I interrupted the fun for a trip to the can without result. Now I just don't take fluids for 12 hours before playtime, and keep cracking the faucet until it is time to get ready. So I know what any pressure build up is about .