Can someone translate this ad?

So... I don't speak very good Asian... usually just use the international hand signals. I'm really not sure what this ad means... can you help?

http://albany.backpage.com/Therapeut...-1914/23149137

10 minute

10 minute Originally Posted by jonboy52

That made me LOL

She love you long time

If anyone knew what the vector vision and z-touch were I thought for sure it would be Paulie.

Beam me up Mr. Scott........my vector got lasered