Check your equipment for an expiration date

My daughter found me on the porch of my house unresponsive. I was taken to the hospital where they performed scores of tests. Honestly, I was there four days and don't remember a thing. I don't remember going there, being there or leaving. They thought that I had a stroke but couldn't find any evidence of it.
I spend the next couple of days at my oldest daughters house. My youngest daughter sent my son-in-law to talk with me. Apparently, she had used my overnight( gym) bag to pack for the hospital. It is perfect because it contains a change of underwear, socks, toiletries, razor and a clean shirt, jeans and sneakers. What had my daughter upset was that there were about a half a dozen new toothbrushes, mouthwash, assorted boxes of condoms, 65+ viagra, personal lubricant and baby wipes among other things.
I thought I had just dropped into the twilight zone or was on an episode of candid camera.
I guess may family thought it was bizarre that someone my age was still having sex. He even asked how old are these girls were that I ma having sex with. I told him that I wasn't in the habit of carding them 'cause I'm not having sex with teenagers. He asked if any were strippers. I said quite a few. How much does that cost? Less than dinner and a movie and their is no breakfast to fix. Stippers???? Why yes! Hell, you already know how they look naked.
I asked him if he enjoyed sex which he acknowledged. I then asked him why he would think that I would like it any less. I told him that I make no apologies for having sex and asked him to ask my daughter for the date, time and year, she plans to quit. What the hell are you young people thinking?

Great response, he was probably mad because you are having more fun than him!

You should have just told them you are a male prostitute.

You should have just told them you are a male prostitute. Originally Posted by pyramider

First, the story has to be believable. I'm thin but not nearly starving.

I'm Irish/French but married a French girl. My daughter married a French guy. They hear shit like this and they will want to take our heritage away.

Maybe you could tell them you are a profitable male prostitute.

Maybe you could tell them you are a profitable male prostitute. Originally Posted by pyramider

I guess I could cater to the blind women.

I would think the most important question to ask would be, "How are you doing now?"

Are you alright? Sometimes, it's good to shake up the ideas, and incorrect preconceptions, of younger folks.

Great response, he was probably mad because you are having more fun than him!
Originally Posted by traderdave123

Except for my grandparents, I have never met two people joined at the hip more than my daughter and son-in-law. When my first grandchild was born my son-in-law would rush home from work hoping to get to feed her. A country boy that grew up on a ranch, I have pictures of him painting her nails ....killed him but he made no excuses.
Honestly, it is funny but it also hurts having my family ashamed of my lifestyle.
I lost my first wife after three months of marriage. She was my soul mate. I wonder everyday what my life would have been like if she had lived. It also screws up future relationships because you can't compete with a memory. I have never discussed her with my ex wife or children.

I'm with EW. Are you ok? I'm sorry that happen to you.

Sounds like a buddy system is in order. One friend whom you can trust to dispose of all your hobby evidence in the event you are not able to.

Not sure if many of us have a friend like that but it should would come in handy.

I hope you make a full recovery.

I'm with EW. Are you ok? I'm sorry that happen to you.

Sounds like a buddy system is in order. One friend whom you can trust to dispose of all your hobby evidence in the event you are not able to.

Not sure if many of us have a friend like that but it should would come in handy.

I hope you make a full recovery. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Thank you ladies. As best I can tell, I'm gaining back my strength. I was pretty weak coming out of the hospital. They couldn't find anything wrong with me even after two MRIs and every other test they could think of.

As far as the hobby paraphernalia, they need to grow up. I date close to the time but I didn't invent sex.

You earned it... You spend it.

Enjoy!

Hydrate, rest some then go again!

My old man.... Slinks off to regions unknown at times.... ( 72 and a private pilot... I am sure he is having the time of his life)