GFE

There’s a discussion over in r/sexworkers on reddit called “Ultimate GFE” that I thought was interesting. Here’s the question that kicked it off:

Hi guys,
I've been working for 4 months now and still trying to improve my game. One thing I'm trying hard to work on is maximizing the connection between a client and myself.
When a client books an hour first time appointment with me, any tips anyone can give me on how to REALLY make clients feel ultra special? I want them to become regulars and not just "another girl down the list." I've seen a few girls in my city become superstars and all their reviews rave on about how good they are at this.

Some of the answers were really good, I thought. Sometimes when I’ve seen it debated about what constitutes GFE, it gets boiled down to just an activities list but I’ve always thought there was more to it than that and these answers articulated it very insightfully:

I'm going to tell you a secret. Here's what a man really wants: he wants someone to appreciate him.
Show him that you are glad he is your customer; show him that you enjoy sex with him and conversation with him; be happy.
No faking it, by the way. You have to actually be happy.

I get this feedback a lot, and it's because (I think it's because, anyways) I am genuinely glad to meet them and spend time with them. I really feel like I'm in a position of privilege and it's not about sex: it's about access to the most intimate parts and secrets of these people. Sex happens but if the sex is what you remember then I think you did it wrong. The feeling of connection and intimacy is what makes that sex awesome, but it should be something bigger they remember.
That sounds super marketing-y and pretentious but it's my truth. I don't think there's anything you can actively do to work on it (there's no secret handshake) except work on you, how you feel about doing this, and potentially if you're at an agency work on getting more of yourself out there - Twitter in Canada is really popular.

Touch him, out your hands on his shoulders, his neck, his face, his arms, anywhere.

These resonated with me. Not to discount the importance of certain activities too. For instance I’d be unlikely to think of someone who doesn’t kiss or or who just does little chaste, closed mouth pecks in the guise of “GFE lite” or “GFE (Limited)” as doing actual GFE. That’s just trying to capitalize on the cachet of “GFE” without actually doing it. I’m sure some guys think about CBJ that way too, though I’ll personally take it over no kissing (or pretend kissing). Anyway the point isn’t about the activities but the intangibles that I thought these comments captured nicely.

Ah yes, the GFE lite... Which actually brings to mind a technical question. When you think you’re talking to a GFE “provider,” but it’s actually her pimp that you’re talking to, would you then call it PFE?

I think accuracy in acronyms is very important.

Interesting point. I wish to avoid PFE including (but not limited to) PFE (Limited) and PFE Lite.

Anyway, interested in others’ opinions on how you see GFE, both clients and providers. Is it a defined set of activities? Or a mindset? Or both?

Interesting point. I wish to avoid PFE including (but not limited to) PFE (Limited) and PFE Lite. Originally Posted by SpankyJ

To delve or not to delve, that is the question.

...Anyway, interested in others’ opinions on how you see GFE, both clients and providers. Is it a defined set of activities? Or a mindset? Or both? Originally Posted by SpankyJ

To me, GFE is both a combination of activities that you would normally enjoy with a real girlfriend... and the feeling of genuine intimacy, rapport & comfort level that you would feel with a real girlfriend.

True GFE providers have a special talent to make a complete stranger feel as if they have known you for quite some time.

GFE is rather difficult to define with a set of activities. To use Dr. Ruth's old cliché, the biggest sex organ is the brain (which is definitely true in my case).

I recently had someone PM me asking me to compare and contrast two providers because I had seen both of them. Both of them are extremely popular in the area where he was from (not Arkansas by the way). He had seen one of them many times and considered her his favorite but wanted to know if he should venture out and try the other. Since he had been around for awhile and had a fair level of experience I felt comfortable in telling him how I truly felt about the two. As far as the "list of activities" both are almost identical GFE. However, in style they are completely different. His favorite would be the kind of GFE that you would spend an entire weekend with in bed, and when you weren't enjoying the activities on the list, maybe just talking about life or philosophy or whatever. But then going back to another session of activities on the list. She would be someone that would be an enjoyable weekend retreat.

The other one, however, is one that you would probably meet at a rock concert, take home, and she would kill you with the activities on the list as she was insatiable. At the same time, there was not really any mental connection, if you know what I mean.

My preference goes far beyond just a list of activities most of the time. There has that mental connection as well as the list of activities. Granted, there are certain check boxes on the list, but I have even looked past some of those check boxes if the "connection" was there.

Just my opinion

To me GFE is more about the connection between two people. She is someone that you can talk to and enjoys talking to you. Someone that is like a girlfriend you had back in your younger days. Someone you would want to take out to dinner, a concert, a play or a movie. Someone that genuinely seems to want to be with you. Like a real girlfrien, for most of us the sex was always just a nonus.

The "list" of activities doesn't define it as much how the two of you can really connect. When two people can have an intimate connection that is sexier and hotter than any list of activities.

Nicely stated

GFE is rather difficult to define with a set of activities. To use Dr. Ruth's old cliché, the biggest sex organ is the brain (which is definitely true in my case).

I recently had someone PM me asking me to compare and contrast two providers because I had seen both of them. Both of them are extremely popular in the area where he was from (not Arkansas by the way). He had seen one of them many times and considered her his favorite but wanted to know if he should venture out and try the other. Since he had been around for awhile and had a fair level of experience I felt comfortable in telling him how I truly felt about the two. As far as the "list of activities" both are almost identical GFE. However, in style they are completely different. His favorite would be the kind of GFE that you would spend an entire weekend with in bed, and when you weren't enjoying the activities on the list, maybe just talking about life or philosophy or whatever. But then going back to another session of activities on the list. She would be someone that would be an enjoyable weekend retreat.

The other one, however, is one that you would probably meet at a rock concert, take home, and she would kill you with the activities on the list as she was insatiable. At the same time, there was not really any mental connection, if you know what I mean.

My preference goes far beyond just a list of activities most of the time. There has that mental connection as well as the list of activities. Granted, there are certain check boxes on the list, but I have even looked past some of those check boxes if the "connection" was there.

Just my opinion Originally Posted by arealone

If you do not like or enjoy spending time with, talking to, etc, they can hardly be considered an experience like a girlfriend.

Speaking of connection, another angle to think about...before even contacting, a provider's ad/website makes a certain impression.

When I was looking through options in Dallas, overwhelmed by choice and nervous, this welcome page got my attention:

I’m a down to Earth, easy going, southern girl. I excessively use the word “y’all” and own a pair of cowboy boots just like a true Texan.
I am 100% ME when we are together. I have a natural ability to connect and engage with others from all walks of life. I have never met a stranger.

My two dogs usually get all of my free time. They are pretty freakin’ awesome!

But, when they let me out of the house, I enjoy concerts and festivals, spontaneous trips to Colorado, working out and frozen margaritas on a patio with tons of sun!

I laugh loudly, smile constantly and truly love making the people around me do the same!

I’m excited to meet you…..there is a reason you found me. <3

Keep in mind, this is after I had been looking through dozens of pages of "I am a sensuous, sophisticated, world-class beauty who loves nothing more than to please men and will give you an experience you never forget" that blurred together and either came off as false (misspelled "sophisticated", has nonfunctional sections on website, etc.) or intimidating.

Guess who made the cut?

Speaking of connection, another angle to think about...before even contacting, a provider's ad/website makes a certain impression.

When I was looking through options in Dallas, overwhelmed by choice and nervous, this welcome page got my attention:



Keep in mind, this is after I had been looking through dozens of pages of "I am a sensuous, sophisticated, world-class beauty who loves nothing more than to please men and will give you an experience you never forget" that blurred together and either came off as false (misspelled "sophisticated", has nonfunctional sections on website, etc.) or intimidating.

Guess who made the cut? Originally Posted by Warden639

"Realness" gets me over pretension every time. I'm with you.

If you do not like or enjoy spending time with, talking to, etc, they can hardly be considered an experience like a girlfriend. Originally Posted by Rockydoc

I think what you describe here is often referred to as "the wife experience".



Cheers,

bcg

I think what you describe here is often referred to as "the wife experience".



Cheers,

bcg Originally Posted by bluffcityguy

Sad, but true. lol

To delve or not to delve, that is the question.



To me, GFE is both a combination of activities that you would normally enjoy with a real girlfriend... and the feeling of genuine intimacy, rapport & comfort level that you would feel with a real girlfriend.

True GFE providers have a special talent to make a complete stranger feel as if they have known you for quite some time. Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

Well put.

IMO: Ultimate GFE is exactly what it is. Your GIRLFRIEND! Tell me about your day, vent to me, let me cuddle under you and squeeze on your arm while we talk. We all know the down and dirty party but to me it goes more. That experience of being with a good looking girl who makes you truly feel they are all yours for that moment being.

I surely don’t want the GFE they have mostly been bitches. I have to listen to there fucking BS drama and agree bla blah blah. Vvivian is great because she is anti Girfriend. No dama no bitching just tender luvin care.
In short GFE Is not a turn on for me.