What does a limp dick and a rattlesnake have in common?
You don't fuck with either!
- tia travels
- 02-13-2020, 03:59 PM
- tia travels
- 02-13-2020, 03:59 PM
A woman walks into a drug store and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like to buy some cyanide. I need it to poison my husband.” The pharmacist says, “Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. You’ll go to jail, I’ll go to jail, you’re crazy.”
The woman reaches into her purse and hands the pharmacist a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist says, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
The woman reaches into her purse and hands the pharmacist a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist says, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
- tia travels
- 02-13-2020, 04:00 PM
A guy goes into a psychiatrist’s office and says, “Doc, I can’t seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?”
- tia travels
- 02-13-2020, 04:00 PM
A man and a woman meet at a singles' bar, and they quickly hit it off and decide to go back to her place.
They immediately head for the bedroom.
Once in the bedroom, the man notices something peculiar: on the wall are three shelves full of stuffed animals: huge ones on the top shelf, regular-size ones on the middle shelf, and small ones on the bottom shelf.
He doesn't have time to pay attention to them, of course.
After they have sex, the man says to the woman, "So, how was it?"
The woman thinks for a while and responds, "Eh, take one from the bottom shelf."
They immediately head for the bedroom.
Once in the bedroom, the man notices something peculiar: on the wall are three shelves full of stuffed animals: huge ones on the top shelf, regular-size ones on the middle shelf, and small ones on the bottom shelf.
He doesn't have time to pay attention to them, of course.
After they have sex, the man says to the woman, "So, how was it?"
The woman thinks for a while and responds, "Eh, take one from the bottom shelf."
- yourdesire
- 03-03-2020, 10:55 AM
Bottom shelf lovers BaaHaaaa
- MartyRabb
- 03-24-2020, 11:08 PM
A little dark humor...
3 bums are sitting around a 55 gallon drum fire, discussing their day.
The first bum says "I was walking by McDonald's and noticed they had a kid's party going. After the party ended, there were a bunch of half-eaten cheeseburgers in the trash, I had myself a feast!
The second bum says "Hell, I was hanging out in an alley ducking a cop when I noticed a passed out wino with a full bottle. I got wasted!"
The third bum says "Hah, I've got you both beat! I found this chick down by the railroad station and I ended up getting laid!"
"Wow man, that's awesome!"
"You lucky bastard! Give us the details, did you get some good head?"
The third bum shakes his head sadly, replying "No, I never could find her head..."
3 bums are sitting around a 55 gallon drum fire, discussing their day.
The first bum says "I was walking by McDonald's and noticed they had a kid's party going. After the party ended, there were a bunch of half-eaten cheeseburgers in the trash, I had myself a feast!
The second bum says "Hell, I was hanging out in an alley ducking a cop when I noticed a passed out wino with a full bottle. I got wasted!"
The third bum says "Hah, I've got you both beat! I found this chick down by the railroad station and I ended up getting laid!"
"Wow man, that's awesome!"
"You lucky bastard! Give us the details, did you get some good head?"
The third bum shakes his head sadly, replying "No, I never could find her head..."
- badhusband
- 09-12-2020, 06:26 PM
- tia travels
- 09-13-2020, 10:44 AM
It's always nice to be appreciated. I appreciate you too~....and everyone else who reads the Comedy Central threads.