I was talking to a couple of my favorite bodyrub ladies recently. One mentioned that guys always go straight to the butt - and her butt is not what needs the massage. The other mentioned that she often tenses up when guys ask to do mutual massage, because they try to be too rough and pinch and dig at her muscles causing her more pain than they are easing.
Most everybody likes a good massage. A good rub is a nice warm-up for, or cool-down after some sexy fun. We guys like to offer massage 'cuz it gives us the opportunity to get up close and personal (eyes and hands) with the objects of our affections. However, massage can do more harm than good if not done right. As an old dude who has had lots of massages and body rubs, I'd like to offer some ideas to make the rub a nice experience for both of us. If you have ideas to add, please do. I'd especially like to hear from those professionals in our midst - like Vnurse, Dharma, Dragonfly, Alicia, Kayla, etc. What can we amateurs do to make the rub more beneficial and less painful? I'll start:
-- Understand how muscles work before you go messing with 'em. Try this: lace your fingers together. Push your hands together until the fingers are jammed together as tightly as possible. This is like the fibers of a tense or knotted muscle. Now gently move your palms in a circular motion while slowly pulling your hands apart. This is like relaxing those knots and loosening up the tense, contracted muscle fibers.
-- If you are not professionally trained, don't try to do any deep tissue work. Don't try to dig your thumbs in too deep and don't use your elbows. Just stick with those long smooth strokes 'with the grain' of the muscle, and gentle kneading strokes on those big muscles (lower back, thighs, buttocks).
-- Don't pinch those traps. The trapezius muscles (top of the shoulder from the point of the shoulder to the base of the skull) are the source of alot of tension headaches, are easily fatigued. Pinching with the thumb and finger only adds to the pain, especially if the muscle is already sore. Try long smooth strokes from the point of the shoulder to the base of the skull and back down using the palm of the hand or the "vee" between the palm and forefinger. This works especially well from "above" the head with the patient on his (her) back. Lift up with the hands and knead with the 4 fingers as you work up the neck. Just don't pinch (unless you're a pro and know how).
-- Don't press down on the back of the knee. You can cause soreness or even injury there. Work the calf and thigh separately. If you work the whole length of the leg as a unit, release most of the pressure as you cross the knee.
-- Don't put a lot of pressure on the abodomen. There are a bunch of sensitive organs in there. You can gently knead the muscles along the sides, but on the belly just use soft, sensuous circular strokes. You know where you're going next anyway, right.
-- Guys, don't go straight to the butt. Yeah, I know that's what you really want to rub, but if you really want to make her feel good, do some serious work on her neck and shoulders, lower back, calves, feet, etc, before you get to your favorite spot. Always ask about the "happy ending" before you just jump in. If you are a late evening appointment and your lady friend has had a busy day, the last thing she may need is your big, clumsy, rough, calloused fingers flailing away on her most sensitive of spots. If she declines the rub there, perhaps some tender kisses or another kind of rubbing may be more "fun" for her.
-- Keep the oil out of the hair. Neither the ladies or the gentlemen want to go home with freshly oiled hair. Guys - always ask before massaging a woman's scalp with those oily hands. I love a good scalp massage, but please wipe the oil off your hands before your dig in there. Right after the flip is a good time. While the patient is flipping the masseur (se) can wipe off the oil. Then gently work the scalp and the temples and base of the skull and even the bridge of the nose with the finger tips.
OK, that's enough typing for now. I'll add some more as the pop into my old tired head. If you have ideas or preferences, please - chime in.
