joke of the day....

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

a mother goes in her young sons room to clean,as she is cleaning she finds a hardcore b.d.s.m. porno mag, mom waits for dad to get home, dad gets home and mom tells him what she had found,she says to dad "what do u think we should do about this?'.. dad replies "well a spanking is out of the question"....

Hey, Kira:

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.

-Giz73

Lmao.. thats cute..

A guy comes home from work to find his wife frantically packing to leave, and he asks 'What are you doing?' She replies 'I just found out that in Vegas I can get $200 to give a blowjob! I'm LEAVING YOU!!!' All of a sudden HE starts frantically packing and SHE asks 'What are YOU doing?' He says' I want to see how you're gonna live on $400 a year!!!'

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his dick. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!"

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/funnydirtyjokes.html

Irish Alzheimer's

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest nearly fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "WELL, MURPHY, I NOTICE THAT YA DIDN'T STEAL McGLYNN'S HAT. WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?"

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh?"

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."

What do promiscuous canaries get?

Chirpies!