I think you will have to invest a little time with a provider. What you are asking for (basically brutal forced anal with one or more rather large toys) is risky for a provider, it could easily been seen as assault or worse; ESPECIALLY in a first time setting.
I would suggest you find a provider in your area or one who travels to your area. Build up a provider/client relationship with her, make sure she is aware of your fetish/want, upfront (first meeting - IN PERSON; do not try to negotiate this over any non-in-person method).
Let her get comfortable with taking it slow at first, see your current size limits with toys and pace of size increase.
At some point you are likely to be able to reach a point where the trust each of you have with the other will reach a point where she could be comfortable with giving you the brutal forced anal you seek.
This is still a MAYBE, but I think it’s your best option.
Otherwise you could join FetLife and take your chances with a more “unhinged” individual who takes pleasure in the infliction of serious pain like you are suggesting. Just remember, someone willing to take extreme measures like this without some level of precautions is likely to at least have the potential to inflict some additional (and potentially devastating) pain and/or damage.
2 cents - take it for what it is worth.
Originally Posted by Suess4002
I’m not against doing this or this in general as something you enjoy but as Suess mentioned I would prefer to get to know you through a few sessions and discuss proper procedures and what not. I don’t fetish shame anyone, but I do think you and the provider need to know and be comfortable with each other first.
Domina K.